RED NECK PICK-UP LINES

I PROMISE THIS IS THE "ONE" GROSS POST OF THE MONTH!!!!!!!!

1) Did you fart? cuz you just blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to check you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

6. If you were a tree and I was a squirrel I'd store my N___ in your hole.
6a. John's correction) If you were a squirrel I'd wish you were a Beaver.... no that's not any better---my bad, oh well I tried.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) FatPenguin...................Sorry, I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin', we kin sleeptil' afternoon.

And .... the best for last!
13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
13a.John's correction- Could you pass me the W-D 40....my ....no, no- tha's not gonna work either.... so I'll just let the apologies stand!!!!

I absolutely LOVE #7 and I apologize profusely for #'s 6 & 13-

You know--some things are better left unposted! But I hate censoring myself.