BARTENDER & THE DRUNK!
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the
bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from
the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates
through the bar.
The bartender runs into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is
screaming.
'What is all the screaming about in here?' he asks the drunk
'Are you alright? 'You're scaring my customers!'
A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from
the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates
through the bar.
The bartender runs into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is
screaming.
'What is all the screaming about in here?' he asks the drunk
'Are you alright? 'You're scaring my customers!'
'I'm just sitting here on the toilet,' slurs the drunk, 'and
every time
I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my
TESTICLES.'
I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my
TESTICLES.'
The bartender hesitantly opens the door, looks in, and says, 'You idiot!
You're sitting on the mop bucket!
That's funny right there. I don't care
who you are, that's funny.
A NERVOUS TICK:
PIC NOT MINE-COURTESY OF INTERNET
DON'T TAKE ME OFF THE DOG..PLEASE, PLEASE..DON'T TAKE ME OFF THE DOG!
LOVE YOU ALL!
LOVE YOU ALL!
JMc
I take 'em off the dog put them in a can and put fire to the can. Hate them damn things.
ReplyDeleteI can't stand to pop a full tick!!! That's the ONLY thing in this world that grosses out an Old Paramedic!
ReplyDeleteI'm using the fire idea--but just how many ticks do you get at one time??? LOL
J
I can't even begin to count the number of full ticks I've popped over the years. I must admit I take a great deal of satisfaction out of it. What I can't stand is the crunch of a millipede. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteI have done so many from Hunting with Dogs in Fl--to SC--I think It just finally got to me!
ReplyDeletePOP!
J
LOL!
ReplyDeleteDid you hear about the monk who only got to utter two words every five years when he joined a monastery?
After five years he told the elders, "It's cold."
After five more he said, "Food's terrible."
After five more he said, "I quit."
They said, "Go ahead, all you've done since you've gotten here is complain!"
RK- HAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ReplyDeleteToo Funny!
Goo One!
Love ya,
J
Your sillyness always makes me laugh, my friend.
ReplyDeleteLYMI and lots of hugs across the miles.
xoRobyn
Robyn--you do the same for moi!!
ReplyDeleteLYMI,
John Boy
You are so darn funny!!!
ReplyDeletea nervious tick....yeeehawwww
Pat-- College day recall- of Nervous tick!
ReplyDeleteThanks Friend!
J