I CRAP YOU NOT! Was it a Wooday Allen movie where the line was- "There's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick?" Well this thing is huge. I went outside with a can of Raid or Easy Off- anyway he took it like a Bong hit- (I only read about them- Bong Hits) and blew it back in my face! Now I'm coughing and teary eyed and trying to see if I should go to the ER in another county to get the can out of.... well that's another story.
So then I get pissed and go back outside with the .22, 15 Shot Remington Auto with a 4x scope! Opossums and critters do not make it around Juans place! Anyhoo- now I'm hoping it doesn't go off in my Butt and ignite the Raid Easy Off spray can and trying to figure out if I should get the 30.06- 12 ga., OR just say to heck with it and lay down and watch Shark week like I had planned!
With my luck Arachnophobia with Jeff Daniels and John Goodman will be the only thing on 642 DirectTv channels!
Suggestions welcome!
John
EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!
ReplyDeleteUh---- squeaky--- just a wild shot, but I take it you don't do Spiders either?
ReplyDeleteJ
Sure, you tell me the white water rafting's great in SC, but you failed to mention THIS?? That's probably the most disgusting living thing I've seen in a long time...and I live in Miami!
ReplyDeleteOh Oh I see- you want the Holy Shit rapids but you won't help me battle a Spider the size of an Eagle?
ReplyDeleteI see who my real friends are!!
LOL--
J
Did u see the Confucious say thingys??
Well, the Holy Shit rapids are probably less threatening than the Holy Shit spider! I still can't get over the size and looks of this thing!
ReplyDeleteLoved the Confucius quotes though! A nice addition to the ones I posted.
There was one of these outside this morning. This is what you do...
ReplyDeleteTake that same can of raid...
And smack the shit out of it or a shoe or whatever.
It works.
LMAO- at Poopsy!!!
ReplyDeleteAhhhh Haaaa I needed that!!!
Thanks gal!!
John
Scarlet- OK- You are correct- The Holy Shit Spider as he is now aptly dubbed will be able to live safe and sound "IN the Corner". But if he looks crossways at me or my wife with those 8 beady eyes--- I'll set him loos in the woods.
Matt- I will be kind to the Itsy Bitys Spider. I do love all the creatures. No telling how many criminals he has driven off- not to mention the bugs, small rhodents and children he's scarfed up!
There was one of those inch-long ants with wings in TB's bathroom this weekend, and I called him in here saying, "Dude! Look at this!" When he came in to look, he said, "Oh. Okay." and then turned to walk away. I screamed, "No! KILL IT!"
ReplyDeleteI'm not really a girly-girl who's afraid of bugs - but if I don't have to interact with them, I won't. I used to collect them. I dunno what happened. But: ick. Seriously. Ick.
By the way - killing spiders of that size can really only be accomplished by squishing. But like you've already pointed out here in comments, it'll help with the mosquito population, so I'd leave him along as long as he's got a good temperament. I'd wear a hat when going in and out of the door, though. :-P
Looks like full body armor and a machete is your only option.
ReplyDeleteMaybe a cyanide capsule hidden in a false tooth, if things go bad.
Squeaky- hat recommendation along with rustmeisters kevlar and I'm good to go!!
ReplyDeleteJ
rustmeister-
You think Kevlar- "regular" or will I need the new Dragon Skin stuff? His fangs were pretty- well fangy!
LOL @ Cyanide capsule!!
Thanks for stopping by!!
John
Full body armor and stomped by a ski boot.
ReplyDeleteICK !!!!!!!
LMBO- SKI BOOT!!!
ReplyDeleteThis thing will be Nuked if we don't slow down!! and like I said- OMG- He's NOT THERE!!!!!!
I CANNOT SEE HIM! I'm afraid...I'm very very afraid.
"Honey- someones at the front door- would you mind getting it???
LOL
J
I do love all labatterie the creatures.
ReplyDelete