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Sign 
                                over a Gynecologist's 
                                Office: 
"Dr. Jones, 
                                at your cervix." 
************************** 
In a 
                                Podiatrist's 
office: 
"Time
 
                                wounds all heels." 
************************** 
On a 
                                Septic Tank Truck: 
Yesterday's Meals
 
                                on Wheels 
************************** 
At a 
                                Proctologist's 
door: 
"To 
                                expedite your visit, please back in. 
                                " 
************************** 
On a 
                                Plumber's truck: 
"We repair 
                                what your husband 
                                fixed." 
************************** 
On another 
                                Plumber's truck: 
"Don't 
                                sleep with a drip. Call your 
                                plumber." 
************************** 
On a 
                                Church's Bill 
board: 
"7 days 
                                without God makes one 
                                weak." 
************************** 
At a Tire 
                                Shop in Milwaukee 
                                : 
"Invite
 
                                us to your next 
                                blowout." 
************************** 
At a Towing 
                                company: 
"We don't 
                                charge an arm and a leg. We want 
                                tows.." 
************************** 
On an 
                                Electrician's 
truck: 
"Let us 
                                remove your 
shorts." 
********
 
                                ****************** 
In a 
                                Nonsmoking Area: 
"If we see 
                                smoke, we will assume you are on fire 
and take 
                                appropriate 
action." 
************************** 
On a 
                                Maternity Room 
door: 
"Push.
 
                                Push. Push." 
************************** 
At 
an 
                                Optometrist's 
                                Office: 
"If you 
                                don't see what you're looking for, 
you've come 
                                to the right 
place." 
************************** 
On a 
                                Taxidermist's 
                                window: 
"We really 
                                know our stuff." 
************************** 
On a 
                                Fence: 
"Salesmen 
                                welcome! Dog food is 
                                expensive!" 
************************** 
At a Car 
                                Dealership: 
"The best 
                                way to get back on your feet - miss a 
car 
                                payment." 
************************** 
Outside a 
                                Muffler Shop: 
"No 
                                appointment necessary. We hear you 
                                coming." 
************************** 
In a 
                                Veterinarian's waiting 
                                room: 
"Be back 
                                in 5 minutes. Sit! 
                                Stay!" 
************************** 
At the 
                                Electric Company 
"We 
                                would be delighted if you send in your 
                                payment. 
However,
 
                                if you don't, you will 
                                be." 
************************** 
In a 
                                Restaurant window: 
"Don't 
                                stand there and be 
                                hungry; 
come on in 
                                and get fed up." 
************************** 
In the 
                                front yard of a Funeral 
                                Home: 
"Drive carefully. We'll 
                                wait." 
************************** 
At a
 
                                Propane Filling 
                                Station: 
"Thank 
                                heaven for little 
                                grills." 
************************** 
And 
                                don't forget the sign at 
                                a 
CHICAGO RADIATOR
 
                                SHOP: 
"Best 
                                place in town to take a 
                                leak." 
********************** 
Sign on the 
                                back of another Septic Tank 
                                Truck: 
"Caution 
                                - This Truck is full of Political 
                                Promises" |