Thursday, March 8, 2012

LIFE LAWS OF PROBABILITY



LIFE LAWS OF PROBABILITY




1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with ...Or you are wearing something you don't want to be seen in!


9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.  Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in an entire locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

 16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. 



17.  Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. 
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. 
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.


ALL THE ABOVE ARE STOLEN RE-POSTED FROM LIFE AND THE INTERNET!


LOVE YOU ALL!

JMc

11 comments:

  1. Bahahahaha!!!! Oh so good- and TRUE! Sounds like they are all Murphy's Laws to me:D
    (So...where's the picture of the mud puddle splash?:))

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  2. Dawn--RIGHT in the MIDDLE of the DRIVEWAY-ROAD!!! LOL

    J

    And I think Murphy's Laws would be a better title!!!

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  3. #8 happened to me once when I was in college a few years ago. It was the final morning of finals and I got up at 6am to study for the one later that day. I walked into the kitchen with my cat on my heels and realized there was no cat food. I couldn't even look at her upturned face. I pulled on a pair of sweat pants that were too short, a pair of leather clogs and ran my fingers through my hair. And of course I ran into a church member at the grocery store. At that hour, too. :)

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  4. Lynn--TOO Funny! And you can laugh now- but I'll bet there was a moment of Sheer panic back then!

    Good one!

    J

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  5. These are ALL absolutely TRUE.

    Once I was BY MYSELF on my back deck with a (10) Busch Light(s), and decided it would be fun to run down the stairs. I missed the first step, and took a wailing snowball trip down the remaining 19 steps.

    Went to get up and thought to myself, "Whew - glad nobody saw THAT"

    Looked up, and a carload of my friends had arrived in the driveway RIGHT BEFORE I HIT THE GROUND.

    It WASN'T the Busch Light's fault, I SWEAR !

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  6. Heff- This time for some perverted reason I believe you! LMBO at your tumble. What are the odds they drove up at that exact moment!

    LOL--Good one Bro!

    JB

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  7. Loving these, thanks for providing a much needed chuckle.

    You forgot to mention the law that states all dropped tablets will roll under the bed ....... its like a chemists under ours.

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  8. And every one of them is true!

    Love that reflection photo.

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  9. I believe all 19 laws to be absolutely true. :))

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  10. There is SO MUCH truth in this post!!

    Love that first shot! :)

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  11. LOL-- Thanks all!

    Tracy--anything good? LOL! I have a bad habit of dropping mine in the sink!!

    J


    Jeannie-- Thanks gal!

    Hugs,

    J



    EG--They are scientifically proven! ;-) LOVE Your Fences BTW!!!!


    J



    Kelly- Thanks so much! Have a super weekend. See ya Tomorrow on Blogs!


    J

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Incredibly smart relies: