YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD & SLOW WHEN:
YOU LET THE DOG OUT:
SHE DOESN'T KNOW IF SHE'S COMING OR GOING.......
SUDDENLY, YOU WAKE UP DISORIENTED,
YOU ARE FLAT ON YOUR BACK ON THE GROUND, DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT THERE
& YOU LOOK UP AND SEE THIS:
& YOU LOOK UP AND SEE THIS:
IT'S REALLY FUZZY, SO YOU BLINK AND LOOK AGAIN.....
AND NOTHING, THEN OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE.....
IT'S BACK....THE BLUR.....SO YOU RUB YOUR EYES...
WHAT IS GOING ON.....
I MEAN I KNOW I'M SLOW AND OLD, BUT REALLY?
EVERYTHING STARTS TO GO GREY AND FADE TO BLACK......
YOU FEEL YOURSELF BEING BUZZARDED TO DEATH, AND YOU FEEL A SLURP SLURP SLURP ON YOUR FACE... YOU PRAY IT'S THE DOG..........
YOU HEAD BACK TOWARDS THE LIGHT........
AND REALIZE THAT YOU ARE WEARING YOUR WIFE'S UNDERWEAR, BY MISTAKE! AND THE TIGHTNESS CAUSED THESE HALLUCINATIONS!
NOW I'M RELIEVED AND
THERE'S A THONG IN MY HEART!
CAN YOU TELL I GOT TOO MUCH REST IN NC????
LOVE YOU ALL!!!
JMc
I can relate to Hope. (I did get her name right, didn't I??) I often don't know if I'm going or going or just running around like a chicken with my head cut off!
ReplyDeleteKelly--Great job--Hope is going crazy with itching, ear and skin allergies right now. She has chewed up her hind end and her ears squish! We're going to take her in for a Cortisone shot--she's just to restless and miserable. It will also help her hi. She's doing great for 11 years young though!
ReplyDeleteCluck Cluck and Hugs!
John
Wearing your wife's underwear? By mistake? We believe you.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping Hope is less miserable after her injection. Woofs from me.
John, you are certifiable.
ReplyDeleteBut funny enough, I did wake up disoriented this morning...
Groan... :)
ReplyDeleteLoved this post. You have some really interesting things going on here.
ReplyDeleteBTW, what does VVBHFATP mean?
http://ladyofmuse.blogspot.com/
OMG John ;-)
ReplyDeleteToo funny .. I guess I have to lay on my back some time in the garden to see what is looking back at me ? LOL .. this weather is insane (speaking of your wife's underwear ? wink wink ) .. I am beginning to believe the Mayan's calculations .. so full on forward with life and having some fun .. I might just have a low calorie beer tonight ! hehehehehe
Joy
PS .. my goodnes she is a beauty for that age .. hope she feels better after the shot, poor girl!
I have to wear a face mask when I work in the garden but it really helps .. so what if I look like I am ready for surgery ? LOL
Tracy--Wink wink nudge nudge! ;-)!!! I'll tell Hope for ya!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
John
Jeannie--you said you mail me my Certificate!!!
Hope you feel better, but honestly--it took me about two hrs to really come around this morning! Hard to believe pollen can do that!
Hugs gal,
J
Lynn--- What? ;-)
J
Megan- That was what I used to tell Emily- of Alice in Wonderland.... Very Very Big Hugs From Across the Pond!
I assumed you were one and the same. my bad for assuming!....sorry for confusing you!
John
Joy-- I've worn Surgical Masks for years that I brought home--I mean requisitioned from work ;-).
Thanks for the wonderful visit and keep a look out overhead!! The sky was too bright, and the limbs kept me from focusing on the Birds.
It just reminded me of that Old cartoon of a vulture sitting in a tree, and the caption was
Patience Hell: I;m gonna kill something. That flashed back as I was letting Hope out. Thanks for your well wishes for her!
Hugs,
J
12/21/2012 Last entry--LOL....is it the 21st? I told Mayan Steve to get a bigger Rock, but NOOOOOO, he said this calendar would last FOREVER!!!!!
OMG I did not see that coming!
ReplyDeleteRK--I didn't either--and I'm worried about myself! LOL!
ReplyDeleteLoved you pissed at the weather post!
Hugs,
J
Oh waiter, yeah, I'll have what John's been having. Real strong stuff. I hate it when I wake up with my wife's underwear on, but I'm thinking it might be interesting to have a thong in my heart. Well, better there than where it belongs.
ReplyDeleteLove you, silly guy!
xoxoRobyn
LOL
ReplyDeleteHa Ha
Warm Aloha ha ha ha
from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
>< } } ( ° >
Robyn--No dental floss in the hiney for you?
ReplyDeleteLOL
Love ya my friend!
J
Cloudia-- Thanks!!!!
;-)
Hugs,
J
Hi John, Thanks for your visit on Blue Monday.
ReplyDeleteYou post today was worthy of a good belly laugh! HA!
Jeanne
JEANNE--THANKS!!! I THINK IT MUST BE THE ALLERGY MEDS! lol
ReplyDeleteHAVE A GREAT WEEK!
JOHN