DAILY GUIDLINES FOR LIFE

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING
WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE
ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING
SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT
BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND
BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS.
REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU
FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE
BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN
YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT
DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND
DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT
THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

TIRED BUT FULFILLED

Hi everyone, I'm Riley--- John's cat. He does funny things to me. Does this font match my eyes.
What's getting Tuttored mean. He says I'm going to get it. Sounds fun, he said something about balls and I love playing with balls!

Bye for now,

Riley McElveen


Hi all,

I'm sooooo tired but I feel so good about work and also school. I spent a lot of time trying to get ahead and it has paid off. So far I'm doing really well in both classes. I miss visiting all the blogs every day so I'm going to set aside some ME time to make sure I don't get burned out and brain overload. Hope everyone had a great Spring Break and a super weekend.

John

I HAVE GAS TAKES ON A WHOLE NEW MEANING

SOUTH CAROLINA

Things I have learned living in South Carolina : (this could hold true for several Southern States!)

You know what a "DAWG" is. These is Dawgs. Leading to a Number 1 hit song....Who let the dawgs out?
Vick , Vick Vick Vick-- Vick! VICK!






This is a rare pic of a Pre-flattened Opossum. This particular one died from Lead poisoning. It was either from his Christmas toys from China or my .22 -- I don't recall, but I'm fixinta bury it.









A Possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.



"Onced" and "Twiced" are words.



It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.



"Jaw-P" means "Did ya'll go to the bathroom?"



People actually grow AND eat okra.



"Fixinta" is one word.



There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.



Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!



Backards and forards means "I know everything about you."



The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"



You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.



You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM South Carolina IF:


1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. You use "fix" as a verb. For example: "I'm fixinta go git somethin ta eat."

4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

5. You know what a "DAWG" is.

6. You carry jumper cables in your car. For your OWN car.

7. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

8. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.

9. You think the first day of deer season should be a national holiday.

10. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".

11. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

12. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."

13. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good soup weather.

16 . We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit.

17. You understand these jokes and forward them to your South Carolina friends (and those who just wish they were.)

I don't care who you are, that stuff's funny right there! (Thanks Larry)

J

EASTER

No it's not upside down!!! :-)




Sweet or what?



Hope you enjoy the post after the pics!



Honestly- How can we not believe and give thanks???





As most Christians worldwide celebrate this awesome day I have to stop in awe and wonderment. Is that a word? Our Religion- really isn't one. It's more of a belief system. Because of all the religions ours is based on A LIVING RESURRECTED SAVIOR AND LORD, and all the others are dead!

How do you know it really happened you ask. You weren't there you say. How do you know it didn't. Neither were you. And just, just what if it did. I would much rather live my life as best I can by the Bible and come out believing I'll live forever, in case (which I believe it is). I don't have the right to cram it down anyone's throat, but I do know what happend to me personally in Sept 1983. I fell on my knees crying by myself in my living room and cried out to God. I knew there had to be something better than pot, and booze to alter my perception of reality at that time. He called me to Him over a period of years and who knows how many hours of prayer from Mom and countless other Christians. The timing was right. The timing is righ now because the Bible says, TODAY- is the day of Salvation..right now..this exact moment in time. As it is every moment, all the time. God is always available and ready to forgive you know matter how bad you've been or how GOOD you think you are. Good won't cut it!
The tickets not that cheap. It was bought and paid for with Blood. Ransom money. Jesus died and paid the fine so you could live a life divine. Will all things clear up and go away. No. But your attitude towards them and how you approach and handle them will. That I can guarantee. That's how you know He's there. Your Heart changes. You physically change into a new person. I don't know how--but you can feel it and it's not an hysterical emotional response most of the time. Usually it's a quiet seeping og a Knowledge that something is in you that wasn't there before. But you KNOW!!!! Beyond a shadow of a doubt if you sincerely call on the name of Jesus to come into and live in and with you- YOU KNOW!!!!!

I changed. I changed from a Pot smokin/selling/alcohol drinking Paramedic who cussed like a sailor on the mean streets, and in one night God completely took curse words from my mouth. I just could not say them anymore! This lasted for 10-15 years and I gradually started slipping, but I still do not cuss in everyday life. This is the one place where I really act out and do not represent my Saviour well at all. Call me a hypocrite, call me what you will....just call me Saved when the Rapture comes and if your nearby and not rising...I PROMISE I'll grab your hand!

I try to love everyone. It's tough- heck it's even tough to Love yourself. But every day I try. And tomorrow if it comes...I'll try again.

I Love the forgiveness part. It doesn't give you license to sin- but it covers you when you do.

God's Grace and Mercy. If you have totally screwed up your life so far- like I had- What the heck- Give GOD a HONEST HEARTFELT CRY and ask for help. See what happens. What can it hurt? Pick up a Bible like the Message or the Living Bible and just read it like you would any book. And think about the Ocean, the stars. a baby's perfect fingers and nails. Puppy breath, Poots! Ahhh Heavenly Gas. Yes, God made that to. Only he said Let there be Light...not Let's light em'!!

Happy Easter to All and May you hear God's knock- if he's knocking on the door of your heart...don't just look out the peephole and hide anymore....open the door- and let Him in.

Love

John

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock, and if anyone hears me and let's me in, I will dine with him and He with Me." That's right- Jesus wants to come over for supper! Set Him a plate wont you?

WOW!

Man am I glad it's Thursday. I have three days off and I don't have to stay up until 3:00 posting discussion questions in two classes. I'll be able to really get ahead this weekend and then stay ahead and it shouldn't be hard at all. I'm feeling great, school is really cool- I'm actually going to learn a lot! I'm pretty tired right now and have a big main assignment due Friday and another Sunday. I made 100% a 30/30 on my first discussion question- yeah!!


It's going to get a lot harder looking through the syllibi! Hope everyone has a Blessed and glorious Easter!
Hallelujah- He is Risen!!!!!

Love to all

John

FIRST DAY OF CLASS

Political Correctness.



"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end"





Killer shift yesterday-got home at midnight and then had to post First homework assignment. Got to bed at 2:30 and up again for another 14 and a homework assignment tonight. I can catch up Wed and Friday, Sat & Sunday and get far enough ahead that after this first week it will (or should) just be a matter of discipline and maintenance without a lot of hours on the same days.

It will be worth it in the long run. Hope everyone is A- OK. Have a great rest of the week!

John

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF THE FIRST DAY OF MY LIFE

I met Sandi 26 years ago today at a St Patty's party in a bar and the rest the say his History. I also start my first day of two classes today at Univ of Phoenix Online. Now I'm not saying one of the Management courses is outdated: but the Title is
HMO's of the 14th Century: How to Handle the Plague. Co-pays and Coverages.
by William (Buboe) Baard! or I don't give a rats a__!

The Other a Little up-to date- Microsoft Word for Windows 95 so I feel a little better about that! By the way- what id DOS????? :-).

Have a great week all!

John

TORNADO APPROACHING

3 SUPERCELLS IN SC. WE ARE ON THE LOWER EDGE OF THE BLUE LAKE. THIS TORNADO IS HEADING TOWARD OUR HOUSE. HERE ARE SEVERAL RADAR IMAGES WITH ABOUT 20 MINS TO GO.
SEE YA.

WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE!!

SEMANTICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chelsea Clinton returned from a date.
Hillary asked her if she had a good time.
Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and she thinks she's in love.Hillary said, "You didn't have sex, did you?"Chelsea said, "Not according toDad."

MILITARY CUTBACKS

DUE TO THE DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS WE HAVE BEEN FORCED TO MAKE SOME DRASTIC MILITARY CUTBACKS.

DON'T WORRY THOUGH, WE HAVE NOT LOST OUR CUTTING EDGE TECHNOLOGY TO THE "TERRARRRIST" ROCK CHUNKERS! - ACCORDING TO PRESIDENT BUSH AND THE CHIEFS OF STAFF!

THEY ARE ALSO FACING CUTBACKS : AS I THINK THEY NOW RECEIVE MAYBE A 1 OR 2 VIRGINS AND 49 SKANKS UPON MARTYTDOM!

PEACE

JOHN

NOT A MORNING PERSON?????

A little humor before this news:

A little over one year ago:
1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
3) the unemployment rate was 4.5%.

Since voting in a Democratic Congress in 2006 we're seen:
1) Consumer confidence plummet;
2) The cost of regular gasoline soar to over $3 a gallon;
3) Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);
4) American households have seen $2.3 trillion in equity value
evaporate (stock and mutual fund losses);
5) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $1.2 trillion dollars;
6) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.

America voted for change in 2006, and we got it!

BIBLE STUDY- I'm going to do a brief Bible Study on Shhhhh....God's Talking
on the Spiritual Armor of God from Ephesians. This will be very brief bite sized snippets so if your interested head on over- or let someone you know that may want to have a very quick read and devotional to start the week. I've been neglecting this and things are going so well right now I want to give a little back to God in this small way!

John

A GOOD WEEKEND

A CATAMARAN ABOVE WELCOMES THE SPRING SEASON

(I'm wondering if the Cat was Photoshopped in?)



Had a really good weekend. Nothing major-...nothing minor----just riiiiiight. Got a lot of busy work done.... shuffling a pile of papers here to a pile here and scanning this in so it will look cool for school. I love doing that & accomplishing very little if anything at all. It doesn't matter!! Moved this to here and that to there----well---because it's ergonomically friendly that way---Fung Sway~!!!!!!

(I know that's not how ya spell it but I honestly didn't know the correct way!)

ahhhhhhuuum......cough

AN IMPRESSION
by
John McElveen

done in the voice of the Grinch that Stole Christmas

Some folks will tell- some folks will say,
there's a certain word, and a most practical way,
a special tone on a certain day- that only the most: most balanced...may say,

they can utter the word on a foot or a toe, in a corner facing South
or the North -toward the snow!
can you feel the lines all magnetic and great---
no-no, that's, only my Cell- set on vibrate.

Any WHO Horton- may this upcoming week be one of Blessings, adventure, a spot of diarrhea on Thursday, High Colonicaling ourselves into next weekend. I work tomorrow and then a girl wants off Tuesday- so I'll work Monday, Thursday and Friday of this week-and I just had Fri, Sat, Sun off (my usual). So I's happy!

I don't mean to sound all sappy and certainly don't mean to get in anyones face- but I think you should be really really Thankful for those times when things are going a little- well- a "lot" smoother than usual. A lot of times I think we tend to get caught up in the "victims" role- most times unintentionally, but people are always ready with an atta boy- atta girl and support- so sometimes we stay there for a bit! And a lot of times or MOST of the time LIFE tries to keeps us there. So when we have that respite- we surely need to enjoy it. I Love it when other people get breaks and good things happen to them.

And I'm not so sure that's all that bad that we struggle and fight for the most part. While I'm sure praising God for smooth sailing right now- I wouldn't trade anything for the rough months and bumps of just a little while back. Or earlier in life!
I chose to take those adversities into the fire with me and make them part of myself- becoming a stronger person for it. Sharper-Smarter-Wiser- Iron sharpens iron---Does it work every time?

Why- Yes.....I believe it does-or better said "CAN." If we are really living in the moment and setting our minds, wills and Spirits towards the most positive goals that WE have set, and are STRIVING for--then I think you can succeed more often than not. That being said: are there things that can clean your clock, devastate you completely, knock you so far...etc. YES!!!!!! And for those times there are people like you to link arms and stand together in the face of "whatever" all over this country. (Should we have theme music in the background??)

GOD BLESS YOU

&
GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Love ya guys and gals,

John McElveen

LIFESTYLE CHANGE???????

Don't forget to look at the Video below the post on Good Stuff- (esp Hammer & AD!)
Butt Humor

GOOD STUFF!!!!!!

Hi everyone,

A lot of really good stuff has been happening recently. Part of it are fruits of seeds sown past, and I think part is a positive attitude and I know a large part is answered prayer. I'll write more as I journal this process.

I enrolled in Univ. of Phoenix online and it went so smooth I'm already in and they are just waiting to apply monies from FASFA. I also found out SC Lottery Tuition assistance can and will be applied to this program as well!!!!

I'm going for my BS in Health Sciences and will take 2 courses every 9 weeks. They push you through pretty quickly. I have about 27 hours that will transfer from my Tech School here where I was enrolled in Nursing. I got so sick of jumping through hoops and the waiting list that I decided Admin. and Management may suit me better. We'll see.

After 28+ years of hands on I think I have the Clinical Down, and since ultimately I want to teach I'm pursuing this path. Right wrong or indifferent at least I'm going FULL-ON FOWARD!!!! LOL!!

Will write more later but I should know Monday if I was able to enroll in time to start classes on the 17th. If so....blogging may be limited, but I certainly won't stop. I Love my group of Friends and really enjoy the few close Cyber buddies I have.

So much so I want you to enjoy this really cool video. Yes press arrow to play Scarlet- sheesh- you can dress her up but.....LOL!!!!!!!!

Love to all,

John

Obituary

Stolen from AD's Site:

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

It was not a smirk- it was a LEER.

It should read- LEER LIES JOHN- Please Feed Cat! 1954-2055

THE EARLIEST EASTER

This is the earliest Easter you will ever see!!!!


Have you realized how early Easter is this year? As you may know, Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20). This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrews used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar.

Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare. Here's the interesting info. This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or older). None of us have ever or will ever see it a day earlier!

Here are the facts: 1) the next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228. The last time it was this early was 1913. 2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!

WHOOPS!

JOHN'S HEART SMART DIET! ON SALE NOW- 1-8OO-EAT-FOOD!

CAROLINA BLUE SKY

I am absolutely astounded at some of the colors of our skys in North and South Carolina. NC or NC State one-(I forget) even has the sky color called Cornflower Blue I think incorporated into their football uniforms. Needless to say over the years- (i got to SC in 1972) the clarity and quality of the sky's color has diminished due to MAN's contributions.

Still- there are days like yesterday and today when you look up and it still takes your breath away. Of course a picture can't even begin to do it justice, (esp. mine with the worrisome smudge in the middle left-don't try to clean your monitors-lol!!!) I think my wife got her hands around the camera- ;-). Her hands are so tiny- (because she's an Elf) that sometimes her little elfish fingers hit the lens!)

Anyway- this is coming up on my time of the year. I do love SC because we have close to four distinct seasons. We have many many flowers and bulbs already blooming and then hit 24 degrees the other night. This happens every year. It's almost like God gives em two weeks of 70 +, and more than enough rain and is saying, "Come on, c'mon little flowers", and when they peep their heads out He goes BOO- 24 degrees- "Gotcha" and luaghs and laughs.....and the flowers go, "Aw, man- you did it again..same as last year". And all of Nature just laughs and laughs!

Swallows medication.... OK- I'm back. Spring signals New birth- Jesus' Resurection, Flowers, Green grass, Summer Thunderstorms- for an exquisite perfume cocktail mix the following-

1. The smell you get right before it rains with the sweetness of the flowers and hedges mixed in.
2. A freshly mowed lawn.
3. A heavy 10 minute gully washer- to mix them all together

Allow Sun to return and then smell the residual!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A fresh cut lawn, right after a thunderstorm with the flowers and hedge fragrance just starting to mingle back in!

I think the only fresher smell is Clothes right off the Clothesline smell!!!!!!!

I encourage you to dust off the Digital, or 35mm whatever, grab the children, make a picnic lunch and walk/drive to the nearest park- (because it's not crowded yet)- take a light jacket and stay till dark and look at the stars right before you head home to NO TV--and then sit and talk about the Kodack moments you just had as a Couple or a family! If single- call a family member or friend-- or try talking to the Creator who painted you the panorama to begin with- and don't forget to thank Him for it!

Download the pics immediately upon putting the kids to bed if you have them...if not download the pics- look at them as a slide show with a bottle- or 2 of your favorite wine with your partner.....play remember when, and then

GO- make a new memory for the next remember when moment!

Cost of the entire package- A little time- a little gas (maybe), wine and a commitment to someone by giving them your undivided attention for a day! Just a suggestion.

You may want to semi-plan this for next week- to get the stuff needed-but don't overplan and take all the spontaneity out of it!


Peaceful in SC,

John

BUY A DEGREE

Well Guys,

It looks like I'm going to go ahead and press on and restart school. As some of you know I'm changing directions-from my clinical (RN) to Management. It looks like the ceiling is much higher for me in that area-esp at my Urgent Scare (Upscale Doc in the box). Actually that is grossly understating our facility. Our Commercials- "Whatever Urgent Means to You!"----unfortunately-they were very very successful!!!

We have an entire block, an upstairs with an entire array of Doctors office's as well as Specialists who rotate thorough. Mammography (i lurk there a lot), Full lab, X-ray, CT (Cat Scan-duh), MRI- in the building-it used to be Mobile, Cardiac Rehab and Physical Therapy. We still have the Mobile Pet Scanner that comes once or twice a week) I guess it's so we can scan other Pets as opposed to just the Cat scan???

It is only 5 years old and I have been there 4 years. We have 4 other CMC's- they are called Community Medical Centers and are spread our from our Central County Hospital. We have won best Midlands Hospital 8 years in a row and this is against our Level 1 Trauma center- 7 miles away- our state of the Heart- he he ) Cardiac Center, Providence Hospital as well as Baptist Hospital in middle of downtown Columbia!

We broke a new record the other day and saw 164 patients in a 14 hour shift, and are on track to see- 4,000 patients in this 29 day month! We average easily 38,000 plus a year and are really in the category of small ER's rather than Urgent Care. Even though that's where our Press-Gainey scores come from. That is a group that measures how you do vs. all other "similar" facilities Nationwide and why they want me to try and get our scores up in a couple of troublesome areas!

We all want to "Press- Mr. Gainey" over our heads and throw him/her in the most foul whatever you can think of. It has turned Medicine from Medicine into a "customer is always right recovery/service industry." I'm old school- Open up and say ahhhhh....take this and if no better....-----NOT ; "give me a Sprite and two blankets and put the TV on Judge Judy before you leave--oh and 3 school notes for last week"....but I digress, since these are the lovely people I care sooooo deeply about and will be taking care of during the treatment process---uh.....-in the waiting room. I do honestly believe we can and should help families that truly need our services during this time. It's scary, and they are often in pain, away from home, exhausted etc.

We are open from 8am to 10 pm. We have two "zones" of 6-7 beds each and a pelvic room. As well as one Central trauma room. We also have a third zone that we are opening from 5-9 Pm's as a fast track to handle the daily patient overflow and back-up. (6-7 rooms)

I think I will have a great shot at Clinical or Client Services Liaison as it's called in helping with the numbers increase as well as developing programs and helping staff the volunteers needed with our growing pains. It is an entirely different pay grade with a much higher ceiling!

So- back to school- I think Univ. of Phoenix has name recognition and I'll make sure that credits transfer to Univ. of South Carolina since I want my Masters later to teach. I have no choice but to take online courses since I must work full time- and that was a problem with the Clinical schedule for RN. I have 29 years experience in Field/Clinical- and really could care less if I ever saw another set of vocal cords during intubation or started another IV, gave another Injection etc.

Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt, married one and I'll still be able to be pulled to do clinical in my new position as well as being able to talk to the patients in a more knowledgeable way than most client service personnel since they typically have NO clinical background- only administrative.

Any thoughts from experience anyone as far as on-line degrees? Basically it's still the good old boy system here in SC. Not what, but Who you know. And I have an excellent rep and great evaluations in my current position- so it looks like I'm kinda in "the loop" so to speak. I have paid my dues in the community and feel good about taking the position and where I am in our organization. But I would still like to know if anyone has any suggestions or "just watch out for's, or be careful of's" in the distant learning process of On-line schooldom!

Thanks,

John