Friday, February 1, 2008

ONLY MAN! or I HATE FEBRUARY

ONLY MAN COULD TAKE A UNIVERSE IN PERFECT ORDER AND HARMONY AND SCREW IT UP WITH CALENDARS AND TIME!

Gregorian, Jewish, Star Charts, GMT, Daylight Savings, Weeks, Months, Nanoseconds, Atomic Clocks (scary)! We are obsessed with time, schedules, promptness and I guess in this High Tech world and Changing times we try to cram so much into something that has remained static for millions of years.

See- I said millions of years- what the heck does that mean. I'm from the South so that could be Billions! I do love our slower paced lifestyle- or at least the perception of it when I was a kid. It seemed like School lasted for ever- yet we always started at the SAME TIME and got out at THE SAME time every year. The day after Labor day and sometime in May! Christmas would never get here, and it didn't start to be discussed until WELL after Thanksgiving.

Now we are speeding up Baseball games, Changing the shot clock during Basketball, Timing everything in the world and a lot that's out of this world- Light years. As opposed to a couple of Heavy Years back in the 1600's ??? WTF? When you were having fun as a kid time FLEW by!

Of course a lot of this is Perception. But some things shouls not be messed with. Like TIME! Just leave it the F alone and let it happen! I drove from LA to Tampa in 6 hours. I WAITED 14 hours in my Doctors office. Blah blah blah blah blah.

Why the Rant! FREAKING FEBRUARY!!!!!!!

This "year" is Leap year! OMG kill me now! What the hell do we have to leap over? Do we have to make up for 23 1/2 No-no seconds that accumulated on the Atomic Clock and Screwed up GMT so that the sun would come up in the West for 3 days?

We are sooooo screwed up we have to make up a POEM to help us out during a year!!!!!!!!

30 days hath September, April, June and November.

All the rest have 31- except for FEBRUARY which is so screwed up you can't even make the last line rhyme.
And now-now- this Year- Is LEAP Year -so we have 29! It usually has only 28! Why????. 30 days in some months, 31 in others----- and then we drop to 28!!!!!!!!! No warning- no explanation. It screws up your Prescription refills!

The moon still circles the Earth at the same freakin speed it did when it started. Except when we have Once in a Blue Moon! It happens more than ONCE, it's rare but it does happen more than once--so it can't be ONCE in a Blue moon. It can be occasionally, or every so often......ahhhhh!

Why does February go from 30 or 31 to 28? And then every 4 ----FOUR, count 'em 4 years we have a leap year! Because we lost 2 or 3 days in February for the last 3 years you moron Scientists- do the Math!

Why do we not know when Jesus is coming back? Only the Father knows because HE- HE- HE is the only one with the Correct Time!!! And He won't tell us. He won't even tell His Son! Of all the mysteries of the Universe, Cosmos, miracles of the Body etc. one of our main questions is- God? What time is it- when are you coming back?

Jesus: "Pop- when am I going back to Earth?"
God: "When the time is right son."
Jesus: "Well, what time is it now?"
God: "About your bedtime, now brush your teeth and get ready for bed- you have a lot of Prayers to Answer in the Morning".
Jesus: "But Dad--all the other Dieties kids are staying up--------
God: " I don't care. I am the One True God. If all the other Dieties' kids created a Universe I guess you would want to create one too?" Now go to bed......now , it's PAST your bedtime!"
Jesus: "Yes Sir"


AND HE SURE WON'T TELL US! A day is like a thousand years, a second is like two minutes and to be absent is to be present and in the Twinkling of an eye! Our Eternal fate of going to Heaven or Hell for eternity hangs on such a precise phrase as "in the twinkling of an eye! We will get our glorified body's- one of the most anticipated event's for Christian's worldwide and we get an estimate!!!!!! How long is a Twinkle? I guess we should ask the 'Little Star"! He created the World in 6 days...and gives explicit time lines in Genesis for 6 days....but when is one of the most important events of all TIME going to happen? "IN A TWINKLE!

God knows- but He HAS HIS HAND OVER HIS CELESTIAL ROLEX SO WE CAN'T SEE IT!
Be ready- because He will return like a thief in the Night!!!!! Just Be ready!

OK. OK. That's Long enough. See--Long enough? By who's standard? Sheesh. Everyone get ready. If you post daily- well....you have to come up with an extra one this month. Or do you really since we usually only have 28 days and now we have 29; so we really come up getting a break on 2 or 3 blogs usually this month ---but it's been 4 years...................................................... so..............................................................................

Sound of Gunshot!!

Bleeding to death over my keyboard...... Wonder how LONG this is going to take? An eternity I guess!

J

8 comments:

  1. I am confused about the times and months too. We should do it like the old days and save em up for 10 years then have a big party on non existant leftover days.

    I have a feeling that when the son returns some government is going to try and repeat history.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am afraid our baby will be a feb 29th baby. How bad for him would that be?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hammer- you got it! Some government will always be messing with something. Total power trip I guess?

    Poopsie- ten toes and ten fingers and your sense of humor! It doesn't matter what date except at age 96 he'll be like 22....LOL!

    Have a great weekend guys and if you're into it..enjoy the Superbowl- or at least the commercials!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've missed reading you, while I'm been down and out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh John, you poor thing! We just have to take things .... one day at a time. Personally, I'm happy for that extra day in Febeuary. We only are off by six hours a year, so we make up for it by taking a whole day every four years. It would be so hard to keep track of life, if we had to keep up with those six hours every year.
    As for life going more slowly when you were a kid....look out! Life is like a roll of toilet paper... the closer you get to the end.... the faster it goes!

    ReplyDelete
  6. kacey,

    Why did you not contact me earlier and save me all this angst!! LOL!!! Love it!!!!

    Have a great weekend!

    John

    ReplyDelete
  7. Excellent post! I thoroughly enjoyed it!

    My aunt and uncle moved down to Fairhope, Alabama and often commented on how much nicer the slower pace was as opposed to being in NJ/NY.

    I experienced it when visiting and you do seem more relaxed and laid back. Tis a good thing. :)

    I wonder how they celebrate the birthdays of the kids born on the 29th?

    Again...excellent post!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sea-

    It's really neat to hear that verified- I've heard so many say that that come in Urgent Care up North. Not that Urgent Care is slower LOL- sorry Mr Rabinski- we do things slower down South- you can't have that Nitroglycerin for another 15 mins LOL- There's a Good Sat Night Live skit!

    Great obs and thanks for sharing!

    J

    ReplyDelete

Incredibly smart relies: