This is part and parcel of my journey through life, as seen through my eyes, heart and mind. Scary I know!!- Hopefully this Blog will allow us to Learn & LAUGH, as well as to THINK and QUESTION: Who we are, Where we are heading and Who we are becoming- Join in on my journey?....... Or Not!
GOD BLESS AMERICA; AMERICA, BLESS GOD!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
THANK YOU, LORD- FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
Yesterday afternoon- out my back door....Thank You Lord
Today I just want to share a personal note of thanks to God. Two years ago to the day I went back to work after a triple bypass. I was 52- pretty dang young and I thank God I didn't have the Widow maker- That's the Left Main Coronary artery for non-medicals, and when it blocks off you are usually gone for good.
I had chest pains that morning at work. Thank God I work in an Urgent Care- started to sweat- then got nauseated. I could put my finger on the exact spot where the pain was in my left chest. 2/10 on the pain scale at the most. I excused it as GI vs a Poot- but when the nausea and diaphoresis hit I grabbed one of our nurses and said, "I don't feel so good- would you do a quick EKG on me." She Did.
I asked her what it looked like and she said- and all you medical people know what she said and exactly what I was thinking when she uttered the words, "I don't read em', I just do em." Turned and headed out the door. Oh, Shit- I knew what was next as sure as the sun comes up in the east. I knew it wasn't mild, I knew it wasn't stents-- I KNEW it was bypass time.
To the ER at 1:00 pm- Nitro drip- no pain meds thank you- not YET anyway! To room at 11:00 pm- Thas' right- 10 hours on a gurney in my own ER- Level one trauma Center where I worked and grew up as a Paramedic. Not the Hospital I work for now-the competing one "Across the River". We used to laff and make fun of the Hospital I work for now. Now it has blown the doors off the 3 competing Hospitals across the river.
Rolled into Cath lab at 11:00 the next morning and saw it. "IT." The sign I knew I needed to see all along to verify my calmness. I knew-KNEW- it was not my time. I was not going to die. I KNEW and never once did I feel afraid. It's not false bravado here- I just KNEW it. Like when you shoot that free shot and you turn and run towards the other end of the court because you know it's in. Or after the putt when you just start walking towards the pin cause you know it's in. THAT kinda knowing. Godly Knowing. The Peace that passes all understanding KNOWING.
I saw it up on the viewbox. A picture I had had in my head for probably several months thinking back on it. The previous patients CATH Pic- in full FLUOROSCOPIC Glory- (you talk about a Hippaviolation- man that was a HIPPO- violation.... but I knew it was from God to me and I literally smiled and settled back and just KNEW everything was going according to plan. "His" plan. It showed the post cath pictures of a chest- No Angio visible- but the most visible and the sign to me were the WIRES that had His/Her sternum Closed. They had been through this before. He/She had left me a sign that I would be OK. I had 99%-98% & 95% 3 vessel blockage- thank GOD for Collaterals. No thanks to the Versed....Then he pushed the dye--PAIN- never knew what hit me- OK Doc- I'll have the Versed with a side of Nitroglycerin spray. He told her to give me 5 sprays of NTG and she questioned him 3 times and he confirmed it. 5. Then He said get me the surgeon on call and a Balloon Pump.
Couldn't pull a needle out of my ass with a tractor at this point! Mainly due to that Godawful Pain. Owwww. That hurts. Ya'll---give Morphine---just give it- freely- push it- help them- the real ones-Out of that Pain! I went to an 8/10 in an instant and could not breathe!! The rest as they say is history. There were 2 more MAJOR signs that all would be well. Directly from God--I know it and can't even begin to explain the dynamics of what He did or How He did it. It was just a God thing. He just 'did" them.
All is well- I have in my journal that on this day last year- my First day back- within 2 hours of going back to work I started an IV- started monitoring a patient and called EMS transport for a cardiac patient. I looked at them with new eyes. I felt the 18 gauge Jelco and knew that sting for the first time in my life. I could read the fear in the eyes and the apprehension of "not knowing", and felt the sweat on the face. I could see the fear and feel the pain of the patient and of the family collectively. These were new sensations to me- but life changing. I had more empathy and compassion than I ever had in my life because of what I had been through.
Please, never ever let a teaching moment pass you by. Take from all your trials the good and turn it back on the enemy! Help defeat fear by giving knowledge and therefore Empowering that person: be it Life-trial, Medical, Spiritual, whatever..let them know that they are not standing in that trial or firey furnace alone. Let them know- somehow- that you are there with them.
'THE REAL BUSINESS OF YOUR SAVED LIFE IS INTERCESSORY PRAYER'- according to Oswald Chambers. Stand in the gap- walk up beside or come alongside others to help.. help them when they are down. Pray for others when they are to beat up, frazzeld, to scared to pray for themselves....
Here is today's verse:
"AND THE LORD TURNED THE CAPTIVITY OF JOB WHEN HE PRAYED FOR HIS FRIENDS." Job 42:10
You all remember what all Job went through- boils- probably a MRSA Spider! LOL> Sorry- had to get that in, he lost his friends and family- he literally lost it ALL- but God turned the whole situation around when Job:
1. Pulled himself up by the bootstraps?
2. Got others to pray for him?
3. Paid the preacher?
4. Went to church?
NO- when Job in the Middle of everything showed his chracter and He:
5. PRAYED FOR OTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What an awesome thing to be able to do for someone. And you really don't even have to know their needs. God already does. But to take your TIME--to Pray for them- well that just MOVES THE HEART AND THEN THE WILL OF OUR GREAT GOD!!!!!