Saturday, April 9, 2011

SENIOR HUMOUR


SENIOR HUMOUR

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so AS not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment. And asks,

'Where's my toast ?'


 
I LOVE THIS OLD TREE!!!!




A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
 
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
 
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
WATER SPIDER 

THOUSANDS--WELL 987, TO BE EXACT, SPIDERS HATCHING. THESE ARE NOT THE WATER SPIDERS BABIES--THESE ARE THE GOLDEN ORB SPIDERS THAT I HAVE SO MANY PICS OF.

ALSO COMMONLY KNOWN AS ST ANDREWS CROSS SPIDERS.
SPIDERS IN WATER - THEY WILL NEVER SURVIVE.

 THE BABIES ARE FROM THIS LADY--THE PODS I HAVE POSTED BEFORE HELD ALL THESE BABIES.
 HI- BISCUS!



LOVE YOU ALL!!

JMc

9 comments:

  1. I'm amazed at all the things you observe in the woods! Then again, I've never been a particularly observant person.

    Great photos!

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  2. Cute jokes. I'm getting there myself.

    I'm not crazy about spiders.

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  3. Yeah, that tree is cool. Looks like the Keebler elf cookie tree/factory. Hope they haven't had their jobs outsourced.

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  4. One can never satisfy one's spouse... Neat photos.

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  5. Kelly-- Thanks--I just walk and really look. But you have to do it slowly--and enjoy!

    Thanks so much for the kind words!

    J



    Jeannie-- What jokes...and what Spiders are you talking about? :-) Thank God for post-it Notes!


    J




    BB- LMAO!-- Indian Keebler Elves. Hope you never have to call for customer service!! Hard to understand, let alone with a batch o Chocolate Chips in their mouths!



    J



    sage--as if you guys ever wondered where the wise one got his name!!!

    VERY TRUE MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!! Great observation on the toast!


    J

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  6. Although I don't remember it really, the joke was great (I think).
    Love the tree.
    Hate the spiders.
    I'm a live and let live kind of guy, but spiders must die...

    What the hell, I'm commenting like you post

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  7. Thanks Pat!!!

    What joke?

    Not afraid of Spiders--but they are not my fav pet!!!


    J

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  8. The MINUTE I saw those spiders I IMMEDIATELY started feeling crawly everywhere. I HATE spiders.

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  9. Note to self--Post spiders to creep CB out. But wait a while! I know Cake--my wife can't even LOOK at a snake on TV. So I don't laugh at those types of fears....sorry! I know they are real!


    J

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Incredibly smart relies: