Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Investment tips for 2012


Investment tips for 2012

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2012:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

10.  Mother's Cookies and Smuckers Jam and jellies will merge to become:  Mother Smuckers.


stolen from the internet!
LOVE YOU ALL!

JMc

11 Phenomenal Response(s):

Kelly said...

These are all funny, but I think #2 appeals the most to my simple mind!

Heff said...

Betty Crocker will start marketing there own brand of Chitterlings, affectionately known as CROCKER CHIT !

and I made THAT UP !!!

Jeannie said...

As per the first part of your post = I feel rather good about the fact that we haven't invested over the past few years - considering my mother has lost thousands.

John McElveen said...

Kelly-- I liked that one too...

J


Heff... once again I'm silenced--I bow...

JB


Jeannie-- I wonder how those that steal knowingly actually feel about it? Do they really know how much harm they did to Thousands and Hundreds of Thousands of people?

J

Beach Bum said...

Investment tips?

For me to retire I'm seriously looking at the possibility of moving to Costa Rica or Belize. Belize appears to be cheaper but Costa Rica has what amounts to free First World health care.

Beach Bum said...

But its the beaches that have the most appeal to me.

middle child said...

Stolen or not.....these were great!

the walking man said...

Popeye's Fried Chicken will merge with Little Debbie's and become Chicken Little.

John McElveen said...

BB-- Sign me up!!!

J


middle child-- hi there!! Hope everything is going well for ya!

Hugs,

J


Mark-- Ha Ha Ha!! You are in full stride my man!

BBB,

J

Pat Tillett said...

Those are just too darn funny! Amazing! I just don't have the ability to think of these things.

John McElveen said...

Pat--YES you do!!!

J