Monday, May 14, 2007

PRAYERS ANSWERED, WAFFLES HASH BROWNS NARCAN AND DEATH


How I feel after our talk! Happy as a monkey in a buttload of Bananas!

To all of my new friends who prayed and posted notes of support. THEY WORKED!!! Tonight I told my wife she was crazy and out of touch with reality- LOL. Sad but true. We communicated on a level today that has not been present in 24 years of marriage. We have and had been living a lie.


I Love her enough now to tell her how bad it had gotten and we would not make it together if things did not change. I firmly believe that because of Payer she received this message given in love and also confirmed by one of her best friends who wrote her a letter independantly- and told her the same things I had said. (I ALSO MUST CHANGE AS WELL). OK- I'm done-.


It is so very hard to confront someone with the truth when the truth basically says that you are a little unbalanced and living in a fantasy world. This is where our lives had ended up. I knew where she was because I has been through the same hole in the looking glass. On our life journey of self discovery we face some very tough choices and realizations. We can grow through them and use them or we can turn a blind eye and a deaf ear and stay stagnant.


We, now , as a couple have decided to face our insecurities, our lies, pretenses and struggle together - TOGETHER -I said! to make our relationship work. Or at least try to salvage it. This was by no means easy nor is it far from done. This is only the first baby step- but what an awesome step it was. There had to be tough honest ground rules and we are still laying those! Who knows- maybe I'll even get laid to! My bad- I digress- LOL.


Thank you all so much for the love and support shown a virtual (Pun intended) stranger. We all take chances in our lives by Dropping our guard and taking off our masks. I am going to try to do that in an honest attempt to communicate and grow. Again- our marriage and more importantly we as individuals in a marriage have decided to devote an inordinate ammount of time to ourselves in a brutally honest fashion- (using some resources and books on Co-dependency, addiction etc. and a butt load of prayer and faith) to be the best US we can be- and then come together and pool our intrinsic characteristics and become the best couple we can be! AWWWWWW they sighed collectively- Hammer just Barfed-- LOL

I Love you guys!!!


Anyway- this is a tough and rocky road we are on but you know what- if we're honest and open- what more could you want if your best friend- (even if she is a Psycho Bitch--just kidding!!! No letters please!) to travel it with you as far as possible? More daily devotions to come- I just finished a 12 hour shift Saturday and 13 hours today with an Overdose/Respiratory arrest we pulled out of a car- Doctors had him awake, breathing and talking before he left us!!! Ain't NARCAN great! So I went to the Awful Waffle with two buddies and we consumed massive ammounts of crisco disguised as Eggs, Hasbrowns, Sausage and a Waffle- Yes I took my Lipitor to countract it and now after the talk of my life with my wife I'm going to bed a very tired but very satisfied and spiritually content- (For the moment) man!!


Love to you all,


In Christ


John