SNAKE WARNING!
These were sent to me recently. Having one is not so weird--having 2 is getting a little strange. I don't know if these people know of my wife's ABSOLUTE FEAR of snakes or not--(SHE CAN'T EVEN SEE ONE ON TV!!!!), but she doesn't see these E-Mails- so they are not working!
(Actually- I send them to her and just listen for the scream of terror from the other room! I can actually watch her recoil (ar ar) in horror : Ohhhhh--IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS..............)
This is what happens after I send a Snake pic to my wife! She does this to me! Pic: courtesy of an e-mail: source unknown.
This is Us leaving US! Like how that played out-- Us Leaving US......oh well....and see little Johann Bonzai Jr.....I call him my "Little Bucket List Child"! (This was sent by friend from Fla!- entitled "Bucket Seats"- Do you remember what they were?"- Thanks harley!!!!!!!!!! Also the Kangaroo pic was sent in that e-mail. Source unknown.
RATTLESNAKE WARS!
These words were included in E-MAIL WITH PIC.. Source of Pic unknown.
Subject: Fw: 10 ft Rattlesnake killed near Chiefland, Fl.
"Look at the size of the snake's head!
I don't think that those boots would have kept this snake's fangs from getting through to his calf or, it would have struck him way above the top of those boots . . . strike zone would be somewhere close to his navel!
This is not a "doctored" photograph.
This rattlesnake was killed right on the edge of our hunting club outside Chiefland, Fl. on Wednesday July 28th
9.7 ft long and over 100 lbs.... confirmed ........." Picture:SOURCE UNKNOWN- WAS IN E-MAIL.
I don't think that those boots would have kept this snake's fangs from getting through to his calf or, it would have struck him way above the top of those boots . . . strike zone would be somewhere close to his navel!
This is not a "doctored" photograph.
This rattlesnake was killed right on the edge of our hunting club outside Chiefland, Fl. on Wednesday July 28th
9.7 ft long and over 100 lbs.... confirmed ........." Picture:SOURCE UNKNOWN- WAS IN E-MAIL.
Me: "I used to Hunt near this area as a child and saw many a Rattlesnake.. I saw NOTHING like this!" I have seen several as big as a grown man's forearm, and six feet in length!
And Now for something completely the same!
Brown stain missing from back of Short Pants of Occccifer!!!
Fang you very much!
15
foot Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake. Largest
ever caught on record.
After seeing this, I did a little research, and learned the following:
One bite from a snake this large contains enough venom to kill over 40 full grown men.
The head alone is larger than the hand of a normal sized man.
This snake was probably alive when George H. W. Bush was President.
A bite from those fangs would equal being penetrated by two 1/4 inch screwdrivers.
A snake this size could easily swallow a 2 year-old child.
A snake this size has an approximately 5 and 1/2 foot accurate striking distance. (The distance for an average size Rattlesnake is about 2 feet)
Judging by the size of the snake, it is estimated to weigh over 170 pounds. How much do you weigh?
After seeing this, I did a little research, and learned the following:
One bite from a snake this large contains enough venom to kill over 40 full grown men.
The head alone is larger than the hand of a normal sized man.
This snake was probably alive when George H. W. Bush was President.
A bite from those fangs would equal being penetrated by two 1/4 inch screwdrivers.
A snake this size could easily swallow a 2 year-old child.
A snake this size has an approximately 5 and 1/2 foot accurate striking distance. (The distance for an average size Rattlesnake is about 2 feet)
Judging by the size of the snake, it is estimated to weigh over 170 pounds. How much do you weigh?
The above info was included in the Other e-mail I received from a friend from Texas!
IS THIS A SNAKE CONSPIRACY???? ARE THESE ILLEGAL RATTLESNAKES SNEAKING ACROSS OUR BORDER? DID THEY OR DID THEY NOT USE PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS IN THE MINOR LEAGUES. SSSSSTRIKE ONE! LOL--I SO PUNNY!
SO WHAT DO WE DO?
OF COURSE I HAVE A SOLUTION! I DON'T POST COUNTRY ABANDONING A PERFECTLY RUN DOWN COUNTRY WITHOUT A SOLUTION!!!
SOLUTION: NEVER- AND I MEAN NEVER:
KILL A BLACK SNAKE!
WHY? JUST WATCH!!!!!!
OH THANK YOU HERO JOHN....WILL YOU BE OUR NEXT
EL PRESIDENTE?..SORRY: PRESIDENT?....... FREUDIAN SLIP!
AND THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO!
MY BLACK SNAKE- (YES I HAVE PICKED THE ABSOLUTE WORST PIC I COULD OF THIS LITTLE PENCIL NECKED GEEK) WHO WAS MAYBE 3 1/2 FEET LONG AND AS BIG AROUND AS A SMALL MOP HANDLE! But I was close!!!!!
AND MY WATER SAKE; WHILE LOOKING IMPRESSIVE, IS ABOUT 3 FEET LONG, AND AS BIG AROUND AS A SHOVEL HANDLE. But I was close!
I DO NOT GIVE MY SNAKES STEROIDS; ALTHOUGH I MUST START! BEFORE THE GIANT RATTLERS ARRIVE IN SC!!!!
MY WIFE LEAVING ME AT AN ATM AFTER SHOWING HER ALL THESE SNAKE PICS! (not really)
wow, I had NO IDEA rattlers can get that big!
ReplyDeleteJoe,
ReplyDeleteNeither did I and I've seen some big ones! I guess these are the RARE exceptions to most any rule! Food was plentiful and predators are few!
I truly appreciate you Bro!
Thanks for you constant support!
John
...All of a sudden I feel completely inadequate in the "pantial region" !
ReplyDeleteThem snakes look like good eatin! Yum!
ReplyDeleteThat poor woman - why didn't she just pee behind the building?
Funny - I have often gone into men's rooms to pee when the ladies lineup is way too long and I gotta go. There's always an empty stall there. And the guys are never upset. Why is that John?
Wow, those are impressive photo's of snakes! I didn't know that they ate each other...still, you learn something new everyday!
ReplyDeleteWe just get tiny grass snakes or adders that just lie on rocks in the sunshine.
The last photo was hilarious! Obviously crossing her legs didn't work!
VBHFATP!
wow, that was a big snake, but he was holding it closer to the camera lens to make it look even larger. I once stepped next to a 6' long rattlesnake in Virginia along the Appalachian Trail--wrote about it in my blog a while back. But 10 feet, boy that's big. There's a lot of good meat on that snake.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know rattle snakes got that big!!
ReplyDeleteThe last picture, and the one of the motorcycle made me laugh! In my country (Nigeria), some motorcycles had 5 people or more on them!!! haha I had to show my sister this post..lol
Oh John, thank you for that wonderful comment.
Have a good night.
LOVE!
I have seen some pretty big rattlers in the past but not nearly as big as the pictures, like everyone else I didn't realize they could get that big.
ReplyDeleteImpressive what the black snake can do too bad most people don't know this.
Two boots and a belt from the snakes would make catching them worth the trouble. So you're saying you never have to buy your wife a snakeskin purse? Cool.
ReplyDelete??? Is the pictures really genuine? Then those snake wranglers on tv must be pulling our legs. They said the largest rattlers wouldn't be the size of those you have shown.
ReplyDeleteThose lying Americans :P
Now In John We Trust.
Those were some HUGE snakes.
ReplyDeleteJoe- I didn't either--I think these are truly the exception!
ReplyDelete\
J
Heff- LMAO!! Just don't dwell on it--you'll recover soon!
J
Jeannie- Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Did I see you at a Montreal Baseball game in the Lou?
John
sage-- 6' is about my largest and I agree with the pic. I love Rattlesnake meat but those Rattles are tough! The cool thing about them is you almost have to step on them to get bit, and even then you may not get envenomated ...but I wouldn't suggest seeing if it's a dry bite!!
John
Alice, LMBO!! I think the snakes would have scared me BOTH ways! That poor girl!
VVBHFATP,
J
tywo- I think these are very much the exception, and as sage said--they may have fudged a little----but even then-these are the biggest I've ever heard of or seen!
J
Jimmy- Amen Bro!! They would definitely get my attention. I wonder if that strike range is real?
Jimmy- I knew a King Snake would eat other Snakes...but I did not realize a Black Snake would!!!
J
twm-- always the thinker--I wonder how mich that skin would fetch?
No-- I got caught in the Eel-skin wallet and purse trap--until it zapped all our credit card magnetized strips! Which I still think is a myth!
J
Shadowthorne-- I think they are real. This is definitely the exception to the rule!!
Johnapedia---LOL!!
SoccerMOm-- Why thank you my dear!!!!--wink wink!
J
I never imagined rattlesnakes were so big.
ReplyDeleteAs for the last pic, is it OK to say I pissed myself laughing?
Lexcen- LMBO--You almost made me pee! Great one!
ReplyDeleteJohn