Thursday, December 2, 2010

SLEEP STUDY


TONIGHT I'M GOING FOR A RIP OFF, SLEEP STUDY!

A. I  KNOW HOW TO SLEEP!

B. I DON'T NEED TO STUDY!

I'M A NIGHT OWL! PIC- BY GREG MEENAHAN
ALL THE REST ARE MINE.


BELOW IS MY ABILITY TO SLEEP RESUME.
PICS-TOP TO BOTTOM: 
DOC II-LIVING,  
BOGIE-(YES--HUMPHREY BOGART) DECEASED AROUND AGE 14-15, 
DOC II, & FAITH-LIVING NOW--AROUND 5, FROM 9 CATS TO TWO AND ONE DOG! (HOPE IS 10 NOW)
BANDIT-OR PUP-PUP..WITH JESUS AT AGE 17- PUT TO SLEEP IN MY ARMS!!,  
GABE- DIED AGE 5- NASTY CANCER IN BRAIN-HEART RIPPPER OUTTER, 
DOC 1 DIED AT AGE 17 AND TUBSY, DIED AT AGE 19, 
TUBSY & LEXIE BOTH DECEASED...
PUP-PUP & GABE FIXING TO DO WHAT I HOPE TO DO TONIGHT, 
AND FINALLY, MY WIFE-JUST HOME FROM SURGERY WITH HER ANGELS!!!
NOTICE THEIR CONCERN!!! LOL , AND YES, THAT IS A CAT OVER HER LEFT SHOULDER AND NOT HER HAIR!I THINK IT'S OUR CALICO- CALLIE- DUH!--ACTUALLY RAN AWAY AFTER TUBSY DIED.

I LEARNED HOW TO SLEEP FROM THE BEST!!!
I HAVE ALL OF THESE THAT TAUGHT ME HOW TO SLEEP!!!!



SO, HOW MANY OF THESE HAVE BEEN DONE AND HOW MANY CPAPS ARE SITTING IN A CORNER NOT BEING USED, DUE TO THE UNCOMFORTABLENESS AND HASSLE OF IT ALL?

I MEAN, HAS THERE EVER BEEN A SLEEP STUDY DONE THAT WAS NOT POSITIVE?? IN ORDER TO SELL YOU THE CPAP MACHINE. ISN'T IT FUNNY THAT THE PULMONOLOGIST SENT ME TO THEIR SLEEP LAB!!! AND HOW EASY WOULD IT BE TO PHOTO SHOP YOUR HEAD ONTO SOME POOR SMUCK, OR SMUKETTE THAT WAKES UP 250 TIMES A NIGHT?


(BONUS- HOW DO SMURFS MAKE BABIES?   THEY SMUCK!) HEY--I'M SLEEP DEPRIVED! GIVE ME A BREAK HERE!)


THEN THEY GET YOU WITH THE HOW SICK YOU ARE PITCH, AND THE CONTEST OF I QUIT  BREATHING MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE-EVER!. MR. McELVEEN, YOU QUIT BREATHING 429 TIMES!!!

YOU WERE TAKING IN THE AMOUNT
  OF AIR OF A HUMMINGBIRD!

REALLY?????  I WIN!!!!
WHERE'S MY DANG MACHINE????



BUT THEN I STARTED THINKING, AND I ABSOLUTELY KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE HAVE BENEFITED FROM CPAPS, AND IT HAS IMPROVED THE QUALITY OF THEIR LIVES!

I AM NOT MAKING FUN OF SLEEP APNEA. IT IS REAL AND DETRIMENTAL TO OUR HEALTH!


THEN  STARTED THINKING AGAIN, MAYBE I SHOULD STUDY---BUT WHAT ARE THE QUESTIONS LIKE? I FREEZE UP AND LOSE SLEEP OVER EXAMS!!!



THE ESSAY QUESTION: WRITE A 50 WORD ESSAY DESCRIBING THE SYMPTOMS OF SLEEP 
DEPRIVATION.

THE TRUE FALSE- 50/50 QUESTION: YOU CAN MAKE UP LOST SLEEP.

THE DREADED MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTION? YOUR SLEEP BED NUMBER IS?
A.23  B. 32  C.60  D. 88  E. ALL OF THE ABOVE!  AHHHHH!

OR THE WORST ? OF ALL


TWO PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING ON A TRAIN. ONE LEAVES NY AT 2:30 AM TRAVELING 45 MPH, THE OTHER LEAVES LA. AT 2:30 PACIFIC TIME TRAVELING AT 60 MPH.  
WHERE IN THE US WILL EACH PERSON WAKE UP TO PEE???????

UHH.. THEIR BUNK...THE TRAIN, THE MIDWEST--IT (DEPENDS, AR AR); NIGHT SWEATS AND TERROR AWAKENS ME FROM THE SLEEP STUDY!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND WHY HAVE I SEEN 16 MATTRESS AND BEDDING COMMERCIALS TODAY ALONE?

DON'T THESE PEOPLE REALIZE I HAVE NO LIFE, AND BLOG TILL 5:00 AM EVERYDAY ANYWAY? I SHOULD HAVE THE STUDY DONE STARTING AT 4:30 AM TILL 2:00 PM!!!!

OH, WELL-- I WAS TOLD NO CAFFEINE AFTER NOON TODAY, AND NO NAPS! I CAN'T NAP! THAT'S WHY I'M SO STRESSED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

BUT, ALL IN ALL, I'M THANKFUL THAT WE HAVE THIS AVAILABLE, AND IF IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL LIKE HUNTING REALLY BIG STUFF AGAIN, INSTEAD OF SHOOTING SQUIRRELS FROM MY PORCH: IT WILL BE WORTH IT!

I'VE ALREADY BOUGHT AN ALL NEW HUNTING "OUTFIT". IT'S SO CUTE. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS IT'S CAMOUFLAGE AND I CAN'T FIND ANY OF IT!!!

JMc

SLEEP WELL MY FRIENDS! AND DON'T FORGET TO STUDY!

TONIGHT- I SLEEP WITH THE FISHES, AND YES--I LET HIM GO- SO I TOO, WILL LIVE!

NO POST TOMORROW AS I WILL BE SLEEPING!


ADDENDUM 5:30 AM FRIDAY

WELL- DUMB-BUTT HERE FAILED HIS SLEEP STUDY! I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS. I AM TYPING THIS AFTER RETURNING IN 27 DEGREE WEATHER, AND NOT SLEEPING ONE MINUTE!

I ARGUED WITH THE TECH UP AND DOWN THAT I HAD TO TAKE MY MEDS! HE SAID TRY IT W/O IT FIRST--AND THEN--GUESS WHAT--IT WAS TOO LATE PER HIM TO TAKE IT!!

I HAVE WRITTEN A VERY SCATHING REPORT ON THE SERVICE AND THE WAY IT WAS- (WASN'T) HANDLED! I WAS ASKED FOR MY PAPERWORK, (WHICH I NEVER RECEIVED FORM THE OFFICE), SO THAT PUT ME BEHIND, AND I HAD SKETCHY VERBAL INSTRUCTIONS AT BEST! BASICALLY- HOW TO GET THERE!

I EVEN CALLED THE PLACE AND LEFT A MESSAGE TO TALK WITH A TECH AND NOT THE SCHEDULER PERSON SO I COULD BE PREPARED. DID I GET A CALL BACK?

THAT WOULD BE A 

NO !!!!!

THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH BEING IN MEDICINE--YOU KNOW WHAT SHOULD BE DONE, AND I DON'T EVER TELL THEM, SO I CAN SEE HOW THEY REALLY WORK WITHOUT KNOWING I KNOW! MY LUNG DR. WILL GET A CALL TODAY--IF I'M AWAKE!

IT WAS VERY INCONVENIENT, AND DISAPPOINTING- AND I BETTER NOT SEE ONE BILL- OR EVEN INSURANCE FILED!!!!

JMc

DANG, I SHOULDA STUDIED!

NIGHT!!

THIS IS WHAT I'M SEEING & NOT BY CHOICE!!!!!