Monday, January 23, 2012

Things I know about the South



SOME OF THESE ARE LAME!



Things I know about the South
A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

 OR THE WOODS!

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.



There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.



If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.



Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

Jawl-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixinto is one word. It means I'm getting ready to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

Backerds and forerds means I know everything about you.

The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning Did you eat?

You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

Ya'll is singular, all ya'll is plural.

You measure distance in minutes.

You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

You know what a DAWG is.
HOPE

You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.
AMEN!

You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tonys, Tabasco and ketchup.
 AND CRAB BOIL!!!

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, and gossip.


You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.



You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm.
 99


You know what a hissy fit is.


Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goin Wal-Martin' or off to Wally World.
 ACTUALLY TAKEN AT WAL-MART!

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
 CCCCCCC-OOOOLD!!!!

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

 OR CRAPPIE, SPECKS, SPECKLED PERCH OR PAPERMOUTH!
We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.


You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
 unfortunately--All pics are mine,


AND I LOVE YOU ALL!


JMc

14 comments:

  1. I really honestly LOVE the one with the flies.

    I hate flies. I hate intestines for all the world to see.

    But somehow - those iridescent colours of both are phenomenal.

    I am going to try to paint them.
    I think it will sell.

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  2. Jeannie--I thought was the only Sicko--no wonder I love ya so much!

    J

    I CAN'T WAIT to see it painted!--and it is a pretty colorful pic. I just went all CSI for a moment!

    J


    Joe--Please STILL be my Friend--LOL,

    Thanks Buddy!

    J

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  3. Since I'm a Connecticut native I enjoyed learning a few things here, y'all.

    Happy Monday! You made me smile.

    What's Tony's?

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  4. Patti-- Thanks for the comment!! You know--I have no Idea what Tony's is! That's why I added the Crab Boil, and I've been in either Fl or SC all my life!

    Have a great week ya'll!

    ;-)

    J

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  5. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

    Give it a few more years and all the reptile people I hear on Animal Planet say those pythons down in Florida will be up here among us.

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  6. It was years before I realized not everyone says "fixinto".

    Now I will take issue with the part about "y'all". It MUST be spelled with the apostrophe in the proper place as a contraction for "you all" and is only used in the plural sense.

    That top photo is something else!

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  7. BB-- You are right Brother-Hurricane Andrew let the Cat--err--snakes outta a lot of homes- not to mention just the dumped out pets!

    J



    Kelly--And right you are too! Y'all is plural! It's also plural imperative--as in "Y'all come back now yahere?!"

    That's my pet Opossum. I think he died of Lead poisoning!

    ;-)

    J

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  8. The first few pictures are creepy :P

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  9. I do have jumper cables for my own car in the trunk of it. :)

    Hope y'all are having a good evening!

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  10. Bragon--They were come to think of it!

    J


    Lynn- I always help others out too--but I've needed them many times before. Wet Rainy and NO VISIBILITY up here tonight--Pretty dangerous- but we are warm and toasty!


    J

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  11. That first photo is absolutely disgusting! And just today, I had someone proof something for me and the she questioned what a buggy was! I guess I'm above the mason dixon line

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  12. Ugh, glad I ate already! I'm a vegetarian who hates the heat, and the critters...And you wonder why I no longer live in that part of the country.

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Incredibly smart relies: