Monday, August 20, 2007

SOUTH CAROLINA----- INSERT ANY SOUTHERN STATE FOR THIS!!!!!!!!


Bob wanted to find the asshole who said "It's not the HEAT, it's the HUMIDITY, more than he had ever wanted anything in his life!"


Steve realized that his head would cook long before the rest of his body would. Why didn't he by the Scuba tank--why!!!??


Ain't it the truth...


A SC BLESSING:
> Note: If you are not a resident of SC or never have
> lived in the hot, humid South, you may not understand
> the weight of this blessing!
>
> > Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
> > Please keep it cool in mid-July.
> > Bless the walls where termites dine,
> > While ants and roaches march in time.
> > Bless our yard where spiders pass
> > Fire ant castles in the grass.
> > Bless the garage, a home to please
> > Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
> > Bless the love bugs, two by two, the gnats and
> > mosquitoes that feed on you.
> > Millions of creatures that fly or crawl, in SC,
> > Lord, you've put them all!!
> > But this is home, and here we'll stay,
> > So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
> > HOLD IT.............there's more....................
> >
> > YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN SC IN JULY WHEN. . .
> >
> > The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out
> > of the ground.
> >
> > The trees are whistling for the dogs.
> >
> > The best parking place is determined by shade
> > instead of distance.
> >
> > Hot water now comes out of both taps.
> >
> > You can make sun tea instantly.
> >
> > You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty
> > good branding iron.
> >
> > The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a
> > little chilly.
> >
> > You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to
> > steer your car.
> >
> > You discover that you can get sunburned through
> > your car window.
> >
> > You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
> >
> > You break into a sweat the instant you step outside
> > at 7:30 a.m.
> >
> > Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, 'What if I get
> > knocked out, end up lying on the pavement, and
> > cook to death?'
> >
> > You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
> >
> > The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to
> > do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
> >
> > Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to
> > keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
> >
> > The cows are giving evaporated milk.
> >
> > Ah, what a place to call home. . . God Bless Our
> > State of SOUTH CAROLINA !!
>