Friday, August 10, 2012

SILLY ATTACK



SILLY ATTACK





THIS IS A GREAT DAY. YES- IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

SO I'M TAKING THE DAY OFF AND BEING SILLY!

58 YEARS YOUNG, SOME MAJOR CHANGES- (all good),
I'M FEELING WELL.....

SO OVERALL I GOT IT MADE.


hee hee hay heeee          hee hee hee hay heeee!            aa heeeeaaaaahhheeeeeee!

How do you phonetically spell out the Woody Woodpekker Sound?






IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD

1. U can't count your hair
2. U can't wash your eyes with soap
3. U can't breathe when your tongue is out

Put your tongue back in fool.

10 Things I know about you...

1) U are reading this
2) U are human.
3) U can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips
4) U just attempted to do it
6) U are laughing at yourself
7) U have a smile on your face and you skipped No.5
8) U just checked to see if there is a No.5
9) U laugh at this because you are enjoying it & so does everyone else too.
10) U are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it


TODAY I AM SITTING AROUND LITERALLY COUNTING MY BLESSINGS. I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MANY I HAD- AND HOW MUCH JUNK AND CLUTTER I HAD AGAIN ACCUMULATED.

TIME TO CLEAR THE SLATE AND LIVE SIMPLY AND LOVINGLY!





HOW BLESSED ARE YOU TODAY?

LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL!



LOVE YOU!

JMc

wait, wait--another one just hit!



Why I Owe My Mother...
 
**************************************
1. My mother taught me
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me
RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me
LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me
MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me
FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me
IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of
OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about
CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about
STAMINA ...
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about
WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the
CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"


15. My mother taught me about
ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about
ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about
RECEIVING ..
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me
MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me
ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me
HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me
HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me
GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my
ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me
WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about
JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all time favorite!!

My mother taught me about
CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"

He went that way!

10 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday!

    I wonder how many generations of parents have uttered each of those lines!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks guys! Just another day at my age, but also a good day for reflection too. I appreciate it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
    I laughed so hard at your entire post. I did everything in the lists you said I would- Hilarious!!!
    A very good day for reflection and hopefully a nice piece of cake.
    Jeff is 58- soon to be 59. Men just get better every year!
    Happy Birthday again. Thanks for sharing yourself with all of us!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Birthday John, this post is great, and yes I think I got the same lessons from my Mom as you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Then I do understand your profound statements because I just turned 58 yesterday! Happy birthday!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, I missed your big day...but Happy Birthday weekend to my pal, Juanny! Celebrate doing what you do best, my friend. Photos and fun for you and your loved one(s)!

    ReplyDelete
  7. So old man it turns out 1954 was a very good year. When you realize you're staring 60 at the face don't worry that son of a bitch is looking back wishing he was still that young.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Happy Birthday my friend!
    I'm thinking we had the same moms. I swear she said most of those things to me a some point or another.

    ReplyDelete

Incredibly smart relies: