SILLY ATTACK
THIS IS A GREAT DAY. YES- IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.
SO I'M TAKING THE DAY OFF AND BEING SILLY!
58 YEARS YOUNG, SOME MAJOR CHANGES- (all good),
I'M FEELING WELL.....
SO OVERALL I GOT IT MADE.
How do you phonetically spell out the Woody Woodpekker Sound?
IMPOSSIBILITIES
IN THE WORLD
1.
U can't count
your hair
2.
U can't wash
your eyes with
soap
3.
U can't
breathe when
your tongue is
out
Put your tongue back in fool.
10 Things I know about you...
1) U are reading this
Put your tongue back in fool.
10 Things I know about you...
1) U are reading this
2)
U are human.
3)
U can't say
the letter
''P'' without
separating
your lips
4)
U just
attempted to
do it
6)
U are laughing
at yourself
7)
U have a smile
on your face
and you
skipped No.5
8)
U just checked
to see if
there is a
No.5
9)
U laugh at
this because
you are
enjoying it
& so does
everyone else
too.
TODAY I AM SITTING AROUND LITERALLY COUNTING MY BLESSINGS. I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MANY I HAD- AND HOW MUCH JUNK AND CLUTTER I HAD AGAIN ACCUMULATED.
TIME TO CLEAR THE SLATE AND LIVE SIMPLY AND LOVINGLY!
HOW BLESSED ARE YOU TODAY?
LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL!
LOVE YOU!
JMc
Why I Owe My Mother...
******************************
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ...
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING ..
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all time favorite!!
My mother taught me about CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"
wait, wait--another one just hit!
Why I Owe My Mother...
******************************
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ...
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING ..
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all time favorite!!
My mother taught me about CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"
He went that way!
happy birthday, john!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many generations of parents have uttered each of those lines!
Thanks guys! Just another day at my age, but also a good day for reflection too. I appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteHAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard at your entire post. I did everything in the lists you said I would- Hilarious!!!
A very good day for reflection and hopefully a nice piece of cake.
Jeff is 58- soon to be 59. Men just get better every year!
Happy Birthday again. Thanks for sharing yourself with all of us!
Happy Birthday John, this post is great, and yes I think I got the same lessons from my Mom as you.
ReplyDeleteThen I do understand your profound statements because I just turned 58 yesterday! Happy birthday!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey, happy b.day!
ReplyDeleteOh, I missed your big day...but Happy Birthday weekend to my pal, Juanny! Celebrate doing what you do best, my friend. Photos and fun for you and your loved one(s)!
ReplyDeleteSo old man it turns out 1954 was a very good year. When you realize you're staring 60 at the face don't worry that son of a bitch is looking back wishing he was still that young.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday my friend!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking we had the same moms. I swear she said most of those things to me a some point or another.