Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiration date.
**********
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
**********
Wife: You always carry my photo in your briefcase to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there be greater than this one?'
**********
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'
**********
The Silent Fart
An elderly couple was attending church services.
About halfway through, she leaned over and whispered
To her husband, 'I just let out a long silent fart. What do you think I should do?'
He replied, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
lol @ the hearing aid!
ReplyDeleteWould you not laugh your ass off or what? What could be more funnier than butt humor, ripping a loud one, with the pew (Literally) effect of polished wood on escaping gas!
ReplyDeleteI mean the setting, the sound, butt humor lovers smorGAS board!
J
Gary often falls asleep during services. Wouldn't be so bad but he snores...immediately. And if I give him the elbow - he voices ...huh??
ReplyDeletelol- jeannie!
ReplyDeleteLoved the last joke! OMG!!
ReplyDelete