Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Swear to God!

One little Ripple- can have far reaching effects........

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family."

"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ." "I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take It your day of recreation was not relaxing?" "Far from it,"snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!"

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it!"

"Well, we were on the fifth tee... and this hole is a monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green... and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted... and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!"

"Oh my !" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!" "Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother.

"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!" "So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.

"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"

This type of humor on a Blog of a person who states in his bio-He is a Christian first... and also has Christian Music Videos that you can play on His site. There is also a Christian blog by this same chap which gets about 3 hits a day. What does one think of this?

I have been thoroughly chastised before about mentioning I was a Christian and having a joke about Tequila on the site at the same time by a zealous Christian. Oddly enough named: anonymous! I wonder what anonymous would think of this post? I try to be the best person I can, but being a Christian is much more than trying to be moralistic. To me it is allowing Jesus Christ total Lordship of your life. In that respect I am striving everyday to allow myself to become more like Him.

So why do I still keep pushing the envelope and compromising with totally irresponsible posts, that I would not want Church members to see, or even some people at work. How hypocritical (false face) is that? I don't know. I don't have an answer. I know what I need to do and the more I try to do it the worse I mess it up. The Bible addresses this very issue...'."Who will deliver me from this body of sin and death", to paraphrase. The answer. Jesus Christ.It goes on to say that there is nothing that can condemn you if You allow Christ to live inside You. But His Holy Spirit will convict you, if and when you go astray, wander too far off the path, etc. And the wheels on the Theology Bus go round and round, round and round....I know I shouldn't be straddling the fence this way. I should be hot or cold. But I promise you I am as stalwart a Christian as I ever was, I pray, read my Bible, pet cats and do not kick most children.

So where does this leave me, where is all this going. It's going in the right direction. It's who John is without the mask. It's as honest as I can possibly be and admit I still have a dual nature. Yes, in the end Christ will win out and I will go to Heaven. How do I know..I just do. I can't explain it nor do I have to. It's between Me and God. I hope and pray, that because of who I am in Christ that I don't turn anyone off, or cause anyone to stumble. I also don't want to justify my actions and a lot of my posts by saying I'm just being honest, when I know I should not compromise and do much better.

However...this is where I am on my Spiritual Journey. This is Who I am in my Spiritual life and it is the real me. I think this shit is funny! I mean really funny. (Most of the posts I mean.) I LOVE God. I LOVE Jesus. I Love myself, and who I am in Christ. I LOVE TO LAUGH!!!!! I'm very, very comfortable, and confident in my own skin. I can sleep with a clear conscience every night. I contribute a great deal everyday to the hurting people in my community and I do it without pomp and circumstance and feel very good about it. I try my best not to judge anyone and to give them a little more self esteem or love than when they came into Urgent Scare. Most times I succeed because God put me there and works through me. I'm just a conduit, a poor spokesperson that He uses as much as I let Him to Love and mimnister to people.

Sometimes I get what Sea and I call bloggers remorse. It's when you hit that post key and feel a twinge of guilt. 99% of the time the post stays up. I took down a post the other day that in the end I though was in was in poor taste, having a Christian video next to it. Well what abouty today's. My Gosh isn't this blashphemous? Maybe but it's also funny as hell! That doesn't make me any more or less moral, because I took one down. It just makes me...well, ME.

OK, that's about it. I just needed to write this out as I thought about it. This is my on-line Journal, and a documentation of my Life's journey and progress, so I needed to write it out. I'll have these little vents from time to time, and it feels good to put them down, tangibly. If it helps anyone who is struggling with maybe the same type of problem..wonderful. I doubt it will affect anyone at all. But that's not my call as I HAD to write this down. The other part is up to God. You never know when God will send just one person by that needed to hear just a part of this message. Job accomplished. I did what I was told to do.

Don't act surprised. God told me to write this out. Not in words, but deep inside where that still small voice resides, that keeps me on the straight and narrow. That keeps me off the water tower and the ammo safely stored. And yes, I listen to that voice. I listen to that voice with ears straining: to make sure I don't miss a single word. I live my entire life by that voice. The voice of God inside me. My moral compass if you will. It's a shame I have so many other voices competing for attention--named: World, Life, Everyday Business, Work, Stuff..etc.

But if I focus, and keep up my Spiritual Antennae through Prayer, Praise and Worship- that voice will always come out on top of all the other background noise.

God bless you my Blogger friends! I Love each and every one of you and am proud to share a glimpse into the weirdness that is the Heart and Soul of John. I haven't said it in a let's all look on the bright side of life- (sing along with Monty Python-you know the words...LOL) and let's count our blessings...keep praying for a recovering economy and USA....and let's all go-




  1. OMG - You and I are in synch today...totally. Great post, John! Keep being you...honest and real...and Christ will shine through you. Fake never works. I love you!

  2. I was thinking as I am reading this terrific post and identifying with it.."Your asking ME John"? surely it is a rhetorical question!

    Then I see you mention me. LOL!

    You KNOW that I very much related to this post!

    And I have another one up.. a PG rated one. ;)

    For what it's worth..ministers and priests aren't as holier than though as you might think.

    Believe me they are as human as you and I and I have no doubt that there is a nun out there who would have said that and still be faithful to God.

    Be ye holy as I am holy. God does call us to holiness. We should be over comers but we are human.

    Jesus hung around Peter and the other fisherman. they were a rough bunch. Look at peter's temper when he sliced the guards ear off. We are a work in progress. dear friend was a pastor's wife. There was a lot of brokenness in her life. difficult childhood/3 divorces. she was my mentor. I learned so much from her. i miss her terribly. There are people who would say she couldn't have been a Christian. Well she was and I believe with the father today. her brokenness enabled her to help people and not be judgmental.

    OK...technically..if we think we are wrong..then we shouldn't do it... but I am not there yet.

    Never say never. And God does have a sense of humor. Sometimes I have said that I would be more comfortable with Jesus reading my blog than my pastor because he understands.

  3. Great post!

    God must have a great sense of humor. I see it everywhere.

    I think laughter is the best medicine for hat ails ya. Keep it up my friend.

  4. OMG- of the Friends I have I knew you three would understand more than anyone. I have 2-3 more that will understand as well. I Love you guys- I really do! I'm finishing course 3 & 4 for a grand total of 12 hours, plus the 18 that transferred (I got screwed on that- I had close to 40!!! but of course they want their money.) But that's 38 out of the 60 for the Associates Degree! And then it's right on into the Bachelors. I think! I finish Sunday, 20th at 3:00 am est and begin the next two classes Sunday, 20th July at 6:00 am est! LOL. A three hour break. I think I'll end up with three A's and one B. I slipped a little in one course and missed an A by about 3 points!

    They truly were not that hard.


  5. John, John, John - It's your honesty that keeps me reading. I love that you aren't hypocritical. I love that you also love the Lord. I can't stand preachy preachy people who pretend to be so holy but meanwhile have an entire double life where they are doing things you and I would never dream of (like most of the TV evangelists who are out bilking their viewers).

    I am to the point in my "walk" (it maybe should be crawl) that I am more and more being just me even in church. Frankly, I don't see the church organizations as being even remotely what they are supposed to be so why should I be afraid to be myself inside the doors? Fear of Man? After all, if God knows what is in our hearts, does it make a difference if we let it show on the outside too?

    And that joke wasn't at all blasphemous - it was funny. And there was only one vulgar word.
    And the use of vulgar words isn't mentioned in the ten commandments.

  6. There's one of my other two Super Friends I can always cont on! Thanks Jeannie. I love it that you said you are starting to be you INSIDE the doors too. I never really thought about it that way. What better place to show honesty and sin, than the one place you are supposed to be able to go and be forgiven of it, Loved through it, and held up by friends during it. Church is Satan's playground. If he can't keep us from getting Salvation, he certainly can use sister Bertha Blue Hair and Righteous Rob to keep a lot of people from entering the doors!

    Love ya Sis in Christ!!!!!



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