Monday, January 5, 2009

SO LONG FRIEND................






MY FATHER WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL AGAIN TODAY. HE IS DYING. HIS INTERNAL DEFIBRILLATOR WENT OFF..HE SCREAMED. SUCH LIFE SAVING TECHNOLOGY, SUCH PAIN KNOWING IT'S GOING TO SHOCK THE CRAP OUTTA YOU.....WOW.

HE'S SAVED...HE'S GOING TO BE WITH THE KING, HIS MAKER, GOD. HE WILL BE AT PEACE, AND SO AM I. I'M JUST NOT SURE WHEN, AND THAT SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!!! TIME; THE GREAT INTANGIBLE...IN DUE TIME, ALL IN GOOD TIME, TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS, TIME WOUNDS ALL HEELS,

FIVEHUNDREDTWENTFIVETHOUSANDTHREEHUNDREDMINUTES, FIVEHUNDREDTWENTYFIVETHOUSAND MOMENTS SO DEAR
FIVEHUNDREDREDTWENTYFIVETHOUSANDSTHREEHUNDREDMINUTES
FIVEHUNDREDTWENTYFIVETHOUDAND
(HEART BEATS SO DEAR)...(PARAPHRASE MINE), FROM THE MUSICAL: RENT.

THIS IS NOT FOR SYMPATHY, ATTENTION, OR WHATEVER. BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. WELL IT IS AND IT ISN'T. BECAUSE NOW I'M HIM. I'M MY DAD. I'M THE FAMILY NAME AND HOW I REPRESENT IT FOR BETTER OR WORSE. I'LL DO HIM PROUD. I NEVER COULD PLEASE HIM AS A KID...BUT NOW THAT WE'RE BOTH GROWN UP...WE BOTH REALIZE I DON'T HAVE TO AND HE DOESN'T NEED LIVE IT THROUGH ME!

I'VE NEVER FELT CLOSER TO HIM, NOR, FURTHER AWAY. I TAKE GREAT COMFORT IN KNOWING I WILL SEE HIM AGAIN. I KNOW THAT AS SURE AS I KNOW THE MOST CONCRETE TRUTHFUL FACT ON EARTH. BY FAITH. TENUOUS AT BEST SOME MAY SAY, BUT STRONGER THAN STEEL TO ME. AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS. MY BELIEF. MY FAITH. MY KNOWLEDGE ABOUT LIFE AS I KNOW IT. IT'S UNSHAKABLE, IMMOVABLE, IMMUTABLE, IRREFUTABLE. IT IS WHAT IT IS. JUST AS GOD SAYS ABOUT HIMSELF, "I AM"!!!!!!! "I AM THAT I AM". STRONGER THAN POPEYE!

I'M NOT SURE WHEN YOUR FLIGHT IS DAD. BUT I LOVE YOU. ALWAYS HAVE, EVEN WHEN I WAS REBELLING. I'LL SEE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU.

BYE BO!

LOVE,

YOUR SON