Tuesday, May 13, 2008

HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP!

WHAT IS THIS A PICTURE OF? I TOOK IT IN MY FRONT YARD. ANY GUESSES? ANSWER TO COME LATER




History Mystery

Have a history teacher explain this, if they can.



Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.





John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.





Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot; he was in Monroe , Maryland .
A week before Kennedy was shot; he was in Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh?



HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP


Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the
church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's business. Several
members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her
enough to maintain their silence.


She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an
alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar
one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone
seeing it there would know what he was doing.




George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and
walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny... He said nothing. Later that evening,
George quietly parked his pickup in front of
Mildred's house...


walked home...


and left it there all night!!!


You gotta love George!!