Thursday, October 13, 2011

HAVE A HEART!



HAVE A HEART!


GOING TO CARDIOLOGIST TODAY FOR A NUCLEAR STRESS TEST! AS IF THE WORDS NUCLEAR DON'T STRESS YOU ENOUGH!

YES  PLEASE, I'LL HAVE THE RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPE WITH A SIDE OF KRISPY KREME DONUTS!

SO HERE IS A CHEAT POST!

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. 


MY ALL TIME FAVORITE:


MUSKRAT LOVE
by the--  CHERNOBYL POLLEN 8!


BUT WAIT--THERE'S MORE!



Bobby Darin --- 
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.



 
Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker  



Ringo Starr --- 
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends. 

 
The Bee Gees -- - 
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.





Roberta Flack--- 
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

 


Johnny Nash --- after HE FOUND HIS GLASSES
I Can See Clearly Now.

 


Paul Simon---  
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver 

 


The Commodores ---
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

 


Marvin Gaye --- 
Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.




Procol Harem--- 
A Whiter Shade of Hair.

 



Leo Sayer --- 
You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

 



The Temptations --- 
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

 



Abba--- 
Denture Queen.

 


Tony Orlando --- 
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.



Helen Reddy ---
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore. 
  


Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again

And Last but NOT least:

 


Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.



 


PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS AND OFF THE CATH TABLE!!!! 


LOVE YOU ALL 

JMc

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

WET WEDNESDAY! FAIR STARTS TODAY

WET WEDNESDAY!  FAIR STARTS TODAY AND RUNS FOR 10 DAYS. AVERADGE ATTENDANCE 500,00 TO 800,000!

OUR ENTERTAINMENT WILL INCLUDE STYX, AND THE ROOTS CREW FROM JIMMY FALLON AND LOTS OF COUNTRY ARTISTS I DON'T KNOW! 

OUR  FAIR HAS COME UP WITH YET ANOTHER
FRIED CONCOCTION:
FRIED COTTON CANDY!

I KID YOU NOT!
TO GO WITH THE FRIED OREO'S, FRIED BUTTER, AND THE KRISPY KREME DONUT SANDWICH!!! ALL OF THESE ARE REAL! 

ONLY IN THE SOUTH IS GREASE AND CRISCO IS A FOOD GROUP! 
 HAY
 NON-FEVER!

 PICKING THE PEE PLANT!

LOVE YOU ALL!
JMc 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

TUESDAY------- Amarillo y Verde



TUESDAY---AMARILLO Y VERDE

WHAT?

YOU EXPECT SEMI-QUALITY EVERYDAY! THAT'S A LOT OF PRESSURE TO PUT ON ME!

SO FOR THAT--I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SICK OF YELLOW & GREENISH THINGS!



SEE! AND I EVEN PICKED THE WORST ONES!

AND THERE'S MORE WHERE THOSE CAME FROM!


LOVE YOU ALL!

JMc

Monday, October 10, 2011

MONDAY AFTERNOON



MONDAY AFTERNOON

IT'S GREY, AND RAINING BUCKETS! SO FOR A HOLIDAY--BASICALLY IT STINKS!

BUT I'M ALIVE, SO THAT'S A GOOD THING!

IF YOU WATER IT--THEY WILL GROW!  SHADOW PEE NOT VISIBLE TO HUMAN EYES!
AND NO-- I'M NOT PEEING!!!  PERVS!



WHAT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE TODAY!










THE PICS ABOVE (BOTH MINE), ARE WHAT WE  CALL DOODLE BUG HOLES. AKA- ANT LIONS. IT IS AWESOME TO GET A SMALL STICK, AND GET ABOUT  2 INCHES OF A SPIDERS WEB ON THE END OF IT LIKE A FISHING POLE.

GENTLY USE THE WEB TO "KNOCK" SAND INTO THE HOLE. THIS WILL FAKE OUT THE DOODLE BUG INTO THIKING AN ANT HAS FALLEN IN AND IS TRYING TO GET OUT. 
(THIS WORKS BEST WITH A REAL ANT--LOL!!!!)

THE DOODLE BUG WILL START FLICKING SAND UP ONTO THE "ANT", AND IT'S PINCERS WILL GET CAUGHT IN THE SPIDER WEB (LINE) AND YOU CAN PULL HIM UP LIKE A FISH!

YOU CAN THEN LET THE LIDS LOOK AT HIM, AND THEN PLACE HIM GENTLY BACK IN HOLE AND WATCH HIM BURROW INSTANTLY OUT OF SIGHT! THEY ARE TOTALLY HARMLESS- CAN NOT BITE-AND LOOK VERY PREHISTORIC!

IT'S A GREAT LIFE LESSON:

YES I DO LIVE IN THE SOUTH!


LOVE YOU ALL- 
TRAPPED INSIDE WITH NOTHING TO DO JOHN!

JMc

Sunday, October 9, 2011

SHADOW SHOT SUNDAY--ALWAYS A FAVORITE WITH ME!




THANKS SO MUCH TRACY !!!!



Why do Pine Needles cast Oak Leaf Shadows???  
PIC NOT ALTERED ACTUAL SHADOW PLAY!!


Fleur de Bloom


Custom Shadow Orthotics !



LOVE YOU ALL!


JMc

Saturday, October 8, 2011

SATURDAY'S NAURTE'S OXYMORONS!



SATURDAY'S NATURE'S OXYMORON'S!


BIRD- NOT IN A BIRD BATH!

BIRD BATH WITH NO BIRD IN IT!

DIRTY SQUIRREL- MESSY EATER

THE OTHER DIRTY SIDE!

 A CLEAN SQUIRREL--HOW DID HE GET THAT WAY?!

SO!  I'M IN A BIRD BATH!!!!    AND WHERE IS MY EAR?- I WASHED BEHIND IT!?

DRINKING OR BATHING?

NORTHERN LIGHTS MUSHROOM NIPPLE? AUREOLA BORE OF ALICE.

SO WHY TELL US???? IS THERE SUPPOSED TO BE ONE UNDER A ROAD SIGN?

A TOTALLY USELESS FENCE!!!!

AN OBJECT IN A MIRROR THAT IS CLOSER THAN IT APPEARS! AND SERVES NO PURPOSE! WE DON'T HAVE HEATED MIRRORS!

TOTALLY INCORRECT SHADOW ON TREE!

LEAVING....

RETURNING!

A TOTALLY USELESS SPLASH!!!!


I'M JUST SAYING!

LOVE YOU ALL!

JMc

Friday, October 7, 2011

ALMOST THERE!! NOT SURE WHERE--BUT ALMOST THERE!

ALMOST THERE!!  NOT SURE WHERE--BUT ALMOST THERE!
DONE! EXCEPT FOR THE NEW LINOLEUM, AND WE'LL START THAT MONDAY--DON'T WORRY! NO DAILY UPDATES!
I DO THINK I WILL GET A NEW STOVE AND GET RID OF THE "HUNTING CABIN" LOOK CIRCA- 1838! EVEN THOUGH IT WORKS PERFECTLY! ALMOST FEELS LIKE RENTING IN THIS DAY AND AGE IS THE WAY TO GO!
ESPECIALLY SINCE RENT IS STILL $400.00 A MONTH! HOW AWESOME IS THAT???



MOST OF YOU HAVE MET MY FAVORITE TREE---SOON IT WILL BE BARE, BUT EVEN THEN IT HAS A BEAUTY!

HERE IT IS IN SEPIA--IT TOOK ME 6 HOURS TO PAINT THIS SHOT--THEN I FOUND A SETTING ON THE CAMERA THAT DOES IT FOR YOU!

THEN I PAINTED FALL COLORS--THERE WAS NO WAY AROUND THAT--THIS WAS AT DUSK, AND THE
COLORS CAME OUT NICELY!

BECAUSE I USED HOT WATER!



OK--NOW I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS CRAPPY SHOT---NOW I KNOW IT IS CRAPPY AND I'M NOT LOOKING FOR COMPLIMENTS------BUT AT DUSK--I FINALLY CAPTURED A MOVIE STAR BIRD THAT SUDDENLY LIT IN TREE BESIDE ME!

I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET ACTION BIRD PICS, IF YOU DON'T SET UP THE FEEDER WITH SUPER GLUE ON THE LITTLE PERCHY THING FIRST!
 WREN TIN TIN!   AR AR!

AND NOW THAT I'M ALREADY IN TROUBLE WITH MY PETS FRIENDS:
HERE YA GO!!!
NOT MY PIC- SOURCE UNKNOWN- 

LIL JOHNNY!! 

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."


She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
 
He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
 
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
 

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken..



 
She sent me back to the principal's office.
He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand.
My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now...
LOVE YOU ALL! 
JMc

Thursday, October 6, 2011

JUST ANOTHER FALL DAY!!!!



JUST ANOTHER FALL DAY!!!!   

HOPE YOU ENJOY--I DID!


CLICK TWICE FOR BEST VIEW!
FLY ME TO THE

THANKS JOEY FOR THE INSPIRATION!




GOD HAVING FUN!!!!!!!! SEE BELOW!
FLOWER SKIN

FLOWER LUNGS


FLOWER ARTERIES

I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF REFLECTING RECENTLY AS WELL...ALL GOOD!
DOING SOME INSIDE RENOVATIONS MYSELF...IT'S GOOD TO TAKE STOCK, ALONG THE PATH!

"SON" SPLASHED!





WHAT WE MAY LOOK LIKE FROM UP HERE......


I SERIOUSLY WANT TO ASK HIM ABOUT FIRE ANTS, SKEETERS, TICKS, FLEAS, AND ONE DUDE IN THE 6TH GRADE!




LOVE YOU ALL!


 OH--& ALMOST DONE--

ONE CABINET, CABINET DOORS, PLUS LINOLEUM, FOR THE UGLY FLOORS!
A HOOD VENT, AND POSSIBLY A NEW STOVE!!!


 JMc