POSTING BLANK

DOGGONE!!!!!!











SIMILAR TO WRITERS BLOCK. GETTING NEW WASHING MACHINE DELIVERED SO I'LL BE TIED UP FOR A FEW MINUTES,

OUT OF UNDERWEAR.......HAD TO BREAK DOWN AND BUY ONE. WOULD'VE BEEN CHEAPER TO GET NEW UNDERWEAR, BUT WALMART DOES NOT DELIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

J

BIG POST COMING SOON

GREAT NEWS RE: WORK

I HAVE SOME GREAT NEWS REGARDING WORK AS WELL AS HEALTH. WILL POST A LITTLE LATER ON. RIGHT NOW MY GATORS ARE PLAYING, THEN MY GAMECOCKS TONIGHT!

I THINK COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS A GREAT EVENT, AND EVEN THOUGH IT'S TAINTED SOMEWHAT, I STILL THINK MOST PLAYERS STILL PLAY FOR THE JOY OF THE GAME! THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS OF COURSE.

j

PUNS FOR SMART PEOPLE!

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling..

And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When
his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!


I don't know why it's always been said that puns are the lowest form of humor. I think it takes quick wit, and a brain to catch a lot of puns and statements. I live off of puns, especially in everyday conversations.
There are some opportunities in life that are just hung out there for you; and set up so perfectly that you just have to say them!I can't help it- they are punny!

SUN SHINE- NOT TOO BRIGHT??????

NOW, IF SOMEONE WOULD JUST INVENT SOMETHING-----OH, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE WITH A BILL ON IT!!!!!!!

RGHT CLICK-SPELL CHECK PROBLEMS

PSST! DOWN HERE!













LOWER!!!!!












YES, IN HERE!

HI THERE! HELP!
"This guy is much more challenged than you can imagine! Type your answers very slowly, as he can't read very fast at all!"
Thanks! Evil-The Weevil
Did you ever notice that EVIL spelled backwards is "LIVE?"

It seems that I have reset my right click from spell check in certain apps, and created a monster. Now when I right click say on a word to spell check, it pastes, the last thing I have written. I need to clear that, and clear the clipboard etc. I don't know if it's in Firefox, Word, or just what application default is doing this. I just want my right click spell check back, as well as my copy and paste back. Somehow I have screwed up the default on all that, and I can usually troubleshoot it very quickly. but this seems to be quirky thing I can't fix.

How do I reset it- clear the clipboard and get copy and paste back to normal in ALL apps and programs?

Thanks,

Computer challenged,

John

PS: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE PRAYERS. MY HEALTH IS SOOOOO MUCH BETTER!
GOING BACK TO WORK THURSDAY AND TRY 8 HOURS.

STIMULATE MY FINANCIAL PACKAGE: TAG YOUR IT!!!

TAG: YOU'RE IT

WELL WHAT AM I? "IT!"- THE AVERAGE AMERICAN THE ONE WHO WILL BENEFIT, OR SUFFER FROM OBAMA'S PLAN(S). SEE YA IN 3 1/2 YEARS!!!!!!

DO YOU HAVE MEDICAL? DID YA HAVE MEDICAL? RETIREMENT? 401K????


Id like you to meet the smartest dog in the world. While I don't have the answers to jump-starting our economy-= I do know that our Children will have to repay this current debt. We created it by allowing Dong-ress, the Senate and the Supreme Court be fiscally responsible for all of us, who wanted a piece of the "DREAMLIFE": WELL WE GOT IT!!!!!!, and NOW THE FIRST PAYMENTS ARE DUE!!!!!!!!

WTF?? AWARDS

"AM I HOT? IS THIS THING ON..... AHEM......MARTY MANTIS HERE..........
HEY HOLD ON.............WAIT A MINUTE"

OFF SCREEN, "CUT TO STOP GRAPHIC"

STILL OFF SCREEN, "AND WE'RE BACK IN 3,2,1......CUE MARTY!"

WOW!

DO YOU ALL SIT STRAIGHT UP LIKE THAT? WE ALL THOUGHT YOU LIVED SIDEWAYS, SITTING IN YOUR CHAIRS. WE WONDERED IF YOU WERE BELTED IN......YOU MEAN ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS TURN THE PICTURE; AND NOW EVERYTHING APPEARS NORMAL? WAIT TILL THE INSECT WORLD HEARS ABOUT THIS....IT'LL CHANGE PERCEPTION AS WE KNOW IT!!!!! WELL, READ ON, I'VE GOT NEWS TO SPREAD........

"HEY, GUYS, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST DISCOVERED..............."

"cut......THAT'S A WRAP.........LET'S GET TO THE STATION"

*SEVENTH PLACE*

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

Start scratching!


*
SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Scratch some more...


* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and
survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more......

Double hand scratching after this one...


*FOURTH PLACE*

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door
neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..


* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it
at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching....


*SECOND PLACE*

Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms . Walton was trying to sneak through the
ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

TUE SO I'M FACING THIS WAY AND I SEE EVERYTHING NORMAL?

THESE ARE WORTH LOOKING AT. WE IN THE INSECT KINGDOM JUST SHAKE OUR HEADS AT YOU GUYS- SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST????? WHAT A JOKE!

THESE WERE NOT CHECKED ON SNOPES- JUST ENJOY,

J

*SEVENTH PLACE*

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

Start scratching!


*
SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Scratch some more...


* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and
survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more......

Double hand scratching after this one...


*FOURTH PLACE*

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door
neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..


* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it
at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching....


*SECOND PLACE*

Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms . Walton was trying to sneak through the
ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

Ok. Here we go!!


* FIRST PLACE *

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago
motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Are we, as a society, getting more stupid....

or are more members of Congress serving on juries these days?

Here are the Stellas for the past year:

HOLTER-ON HOLTER OFF- AT LEAST IT WASN'T A HATER!

HOLTER OFF- HOLTER ON- LEAST IT WASN'T A HALTER!!!

THIS PINE NEEDLE APPEARS TO BE SUSPENDED IN MID-AIR. IT WAS CAUGHT BY THE THINNEST OF SPIDER WEBS AND WES JUST HANGING THERE!

"CHIT HAPPENS"

I just had to wear a 24 hour heart monitor. A very mild inconvenience. I Remember coming up through medicine in the late 70's- I started in medicine in 1973 as an "ORDERLY". Back then we wore all white, we did all the CRAP jobs- literally! It is humbling to deal with human waste, and it is more humbling to deal with it whilst it is still coming out of the tap! People lose their dignity fast and socio-economic barriers, where you live, skin color and all BREAKS DOWN. Because of the one common denominator. Having someone helping you with, or messing with, your feces is humbling. I am seeing medicine from a patients perspective and it is VERY GOOD that I am!

Because, bottom line the bumper stinker is wrong- (do you like that like that innuendo-(bumper stinker..don't read too fast people, details dammit!!!!! I just wrote on that! Pay attention! AN INNUENEDO by the way is a Spanish suppository). Folks, I'm telling ya, you are reading greatness, I will just remain an undiscovered "talent, or whatever" in the annals of life- Anal's of life- see how this flows-LOL! You can't make this stuff up...it just comes out naturally. Too bad their is not a stage for it, nor does it pay!

I'll quit whining now and we'll do positive posts from now on!

J

TEMPERATURES' RISING

A very tired nurse walks into a bank,

Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check,

She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse

And tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake,

She looks at the flabbergasted teller

And without missing a beat, she says:

'Well, that's great....just great...

Some Butt hole has my pen!'

HAVE A HEART

What do you see?

Can u see it?
Can u tell what it is?

How about now?

Easier now? A Praying Mantis. Now go back to top pic and see how easy it is to pic out.

Go to last pic!

GOING TO CARDIOLOGIST TOMORROW. STILL HAVING MAJOR SYMPTOMS WITH THE OLE TICKER. IRREGULAR BEATS, PAIN, SHORTNESS OF BREATH. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING...........

FROM NOW ON THIS WILL BE A WELL BLOG! BUT I DO DESIRE YOUR PRAYERS & THOUGHTS!

I'M WORKING ON A SMALL LITTLE ITTY BITTY PICTURE STORY SO STAY TUNED.


TO GET A HEAD START I'D LIKE TO PUT UP A STATEMENT THAT I REALLY LIKE AND WILL HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF OF- LOL---YES........MORE POND AND CREATURE PICS FOR THE STORY!

THE STATEMENT

"GOD IS IN THE DETAILS"

I'D LIKE YOU TO BE THINKING ON THIS, AND SEEING WHAT HAPPENS THIS WEEK WHEN YOU SLOW DOWN AND LOOK AT SOMETHING......ANYTHING, CLOSELY.

THAT'S YOUR ASSIGNMENT- AND PASS IT ON TO OTHERS SO THEY CAN ENJOY--THEY DON'T HAVE TO LINK BACK OE ANYTHING, JUST MENTION IT TO THEM IF YOU WILL.

1. PICK ONE (1) THING THIS WEEK, AND THEN STOP!!!!!!! LOOK AT IT, RE-READ IT, TOUCH IT, REALLY STUDY IT: WHATEVER IT TAKES, BUT LOOK AT IT FROM EVERY ANGLE, THINK ABOUT IT FROM DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW (LIKE, HOW WOULD SOMEONE ELSE FEEL, LOOK, EXAMINE, THINK ABOUT THIS ETC.)

TAKE THIS ONE THING: AND STUDY IT IN DETAIL. REALLY TAKE SOME TIME TO DO THIS TO WHATEVER IT IS, AND THEN ADMIRE, JOT DOWN ANY AH HA POINTS, TALK ABOUT WITH IT YOUR SPOUSE OR FRIEND. POST HERE; ANYTHING,,, THAT YOU LIKE, OR ANYTHIG YOU WOULD HAVE MISSED, HAD YOU NOT DONE THIS SMALL ASSIGNMENT!

DID IT ENRICH YOUR LIFE OR MAKE NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL? IF SO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THIS WITH OTHER THINGS?; THINGS OR PEOPLE THAT WE MAY USUALLY TAKE FOR GRANTED. JUST TRY IT, AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, SEE WHAT, IF ANY FEEDBACK YOU GET FROM OTHERS. JUST PICK ONE THING, BUT REALLY GO OVER IT IN DETAIL!


J

HOLA!!!!!!!!

I would have missed this had I been walking normally and not looking at the details of the pond, trees and life!
HOW MUCH DO WE MISS? ESPECIALLY OF OUR CHILDREN, PETS, FRIENDS.....YOU NAME IT............ MAYBE WE SHOULD SAY

LIFE IS IN THE DETAILS!