Tuesday, November 22, 2011

NEW ALPHABET!!!



NEW ALPHABET!!!

AS TAUGHT TODAY.......







THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
>
> Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
> husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically
> telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a
> suggestion.
>
> 'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
> toilet paper and rub it between them for20a few seconds'
>
> Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
> front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
>
> 'How long will this take?' I asked.
>
> 'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.
>
> I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece o f20toilet paper
> between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the
> years?'
>
> Without missing a beat he says ' Worked for your butt, didn't it?'
>
> He's still alive , and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk
> again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a
> straw.
>
> Stupid, stupid man

>



LOVE YOU ALL!


JMc

9 comments:

  1. my my my. you do love to get yourself in trouble don't you?

    Glad to have you back John!

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  2. Thanks for the mention.

    Ah so toilet paper is too blame and here was me thinking it was chocolate.

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  3. Your wife reads your blog, right? And she hasn't put you in the hospital yet? ;)

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  4. rub it on your brain! LOL


    Aloha from Honolulu

    Comfort Spiral

    > < } } ( ° >

    ><}}(°>

    < ° ) } } > <

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  5. Living on the edge, aren't you!! ahahhah!

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  6. The alphabet chart is great (and sadly true). The joke is even better.
    We were in a antique store the other day and my nine year old GD, pointed at something and asked me what it was. It was a IBM selectronic typewriter! I then asked her if she knew what a 8-track tape was. She said no. How about a VHS tape, she said no, how about a cassette tape? No again
    Oh man did she make me feel old!
    Hope you are doing well my friend! Thanks for the yucks...

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  7. Okay, hon, that was really good. I love you John.

    PS Related to the alphabet chart, I just saw a children's book (or mockery of a children's book) called Good Night IPad (instead of Good Night Moon) written by Ann Droyd.

    xoRobyn

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  8. love this post.
    are you from Scotland?
    love living on the edge! haha

    have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jeannie-- LOL---Some things just never change! Thanks my friend!

    J



    Petty---What if it were Chocolate toilet paper!!!

    J



    RK- This thing is so protected--I can't even get in sometimes--LOL!!!
    But we have no secrets.

    ;-)

    J



    SISTA___ Ouch---Right or left??--LOL--GOOD ONE Cloudia!


    J




    Kelly- Yea ma'am! LOL
    \

    J


    Pat-- It's amazing that we didn't even have computers in our lifetime--but I'd say we embraced it pretty well for a bunch of Boomers!!! Remember recording into the small reel to real tape recorders with the mono microphone????

    Happy Holidays my friend!


    J


    Robyn,

    Love you too sweet lady! Big hugs!

    Your Buddy--Dating ad # 111,

    "I Like Pina Colladas, getting caught in the rain. I'm CHARMIN I'm sure..... he he....is it working????

    J


    Betty-- TYVM!! No, SC...LOL--I think we a German- Mom's side & Scottish/Irish-Dad's!

    And I love living on the edge!

    Thanks for the visit and Happy Holidays!



    J

    ReplyDelete

Incredibly smart relies: