GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS

SAY HELLO TO LITTLE FRIEN'!

YOU TALKIN' TO ME?

Double Click (on any-to enlarge) for an awesomely Beautiful Picture of a Cat. Can u Believe that face??????????? And believe me, it's the subject, not the photographer. I just point and shoot.







This is where one of our 9 outside Cats sleeps all the time. On a small scale it reminds me of the Big Cats of Africa. You can truly see the Leopard, Jaguar type traits on a smaller scale in the domestic cat. When all 9 are playing/hunting out front, it looks just like Nat/Geo--(hey I had to use it in a sentence and be cool like them--can you believe they are using Nat/Geo?) What, are we getting so damn lazy as a Nation now we can't even have TV programs without shortcuts-LOL. I mean, Laughing Out Loud. OK- I guess it's worth it. Anyway- I'm back.......


The good news is I dropped Algebra and am only taking one class. It was just too much with work right now. The bad news is I will be able to post more things like this!

Haaaa Haaaaaa!





6 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

























2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.




3. And discover that the first truth is a lie.




4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.




5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.



6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.


I apologize about this .


I'm an idiot and I needed company ...

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ha HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OMG HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

INFREQUENT POSTING

HI ALL,

I just started Algebra in my quest for BS, which it all is anyway, so my postings may be really off for the next several to 9 weeks! Keep checking by though!!!


J

WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP

I AM 54 YEARS OLD. I HAVE LIVED A GOOD LIFE. A REALLY GOOD LIFE. I HAVE EXPERIENCED MANY WONDERS THAT GOD HAS PUT BEFORE ME ON MY BUFFET OF LIFE. I HAVE ACHIEVED SOME VERY LOFTY GOAL'S, MET SOME HIGH PERSONAL STANDARDS, AND ALSO DONE SOME SHAMEFUL THINGS THAT BRING STINGING TEARS TO MY CHEEKS WHEN I THINK ABOUT THEM.

I HAVE PLENTY OF LIFE LEFT. I ACTUALLY AM JUST STARTING TO REACH MY PEAK. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH IT? I'M IN COLLEGE; AT 54. I HAVE A DECENT JOB, ALTHOUGH I HAVE ALWAYS SETTLED FOR SECOND BEST, UP UNTIL NOW. SO WHAT SHOULD I POUR MY HEART, SOUL AND SPIRIT INTO NOW?

I BELIEVE THE ANSWER IS SO SIMPLE IT SOUNDS ABSURD. GET UP EVERY DAY, AND GIVE THAT DAY THE BEST JOHN, I CAN BE! JUST BE ME. WARTS AND ALL, AND IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING, BECAUSE I HAVE WORKED AND STUDIED AND PUT MYSELF IN THIS CURRENT SPOT, GOD HIMSELF WILL DIRECT MY PATHS.

I'LL STILL MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS, ALL THE CHOICES, GOOD BAD OR INDIFFERENT, BECAUSE I AM A FREE WILL AGENT. GOD WILL NOT FORCE ANYTHING ON ME. HE WILL HOWEVER GUIDE ME INTO SITUATIONS AND BRING PEOPLE TO ME OR CAUSE ME TO CROSS PEOPLES PATHS TO HAVE AN IMPACT ON THEIR LIFE. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT. IT WE ARE NOT ENRICHING SOMEONE, EVEN IF IT'S JUST OUR SELF AT THE MOMENT WHAT GOOD ARE WE? WE ARE JUST TAKERS.

I WANT TO GIVE BACK OUT OF THE ABUNDANCE THAT HAS BEEN GIVEN ME. WHETHER IT BE A SMILE, A BELLY LAUGH, A RUB OF THE CHIN OR SCRATCH OF THE HEAD WITH A HMMMMMM.......AFTER IT, I HAVE DONE MY JOB!

I CHALLENGE YOU TODAY TO START WHEREVER YOU ARE, DOING SOMETHING TO PUT BACK INTO EARTH. DON'T JUST BE A TAKER. BE A GIVER. GOD LOVES A CHEERFUL GIVER. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE MUCH. JUST ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND BE AVAILABLE, AND YOU'LL GIVE CORRECTLY. OUT OF A PURE HEART YOUR PRECIOUS GIFTS WILL POUR, GIFTS THAT NO OTHER HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET CAN GIVE OUT FOR GOD. YOU WERE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE FOR JUST THIS PURPOSE.

DON'T MISS IT.

BLESSINGS MY FRIENDS,

J

A teacher is explaining biology
to her 4th grade students.
"Human Beings are the only animals
that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand.

"I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious
some of these stories could become,
asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began,
"I was in the back yard with my kitty
and the Rottweiler that lives next door
got a running start and before we knew it,
he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary,"
said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl.

My kitty raised his back,


went Sssss, Sssss, Sssss"



and before he could say "Shit,"



the Rottweiler ate him!

ELECTION PARTICIPATION!

Subject: Voting Support

Please read this and simply comply.

It is for a great cause. You can help.



The election is right around the corner and we will decide the President of the United States . The person elected will be the President of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get together and support the candidate of our choice. It's time that we come together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support this Obama character, drive with your headlights off at night.

Thank you for your participation.

- a Concerned Citizen


In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.


For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen.
Aleve is also called Naproxen.
Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.


The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were,Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.


Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.


Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection
of what to do with them.

NOW THAT SEVERAL "HER" I CANES HAVE BLOWN THROUGH!

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

'ESTROGEN ISSUES'

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You 're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving-call 1- 800-'.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THING S ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day .
WE ALL NEED A SMILE!



'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

FLORIDA INFORMATION- HURRICANE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS

BEING THE CONSCIENTIOUS MODEST PERSON THAT I AM, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE A LITTLE MORE ABOUT MYSELF:

I AM A TRUE FLORIDIAN (A RARE BREED) AND HAVE ENCLOSED IN THE FIRST PICTURE : MY HOME TOWN LOCATION OF PLANT CITY, FLA.

WE ARE HOWEVER THINKING ABOUT RELOCATING, BEFORE WE ARE RELOCATED!

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE: THIS CHIT IS FUNNY RIGHT HERE!

I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF ANYONE KNOWS WHERE I CAN ORDER A GROSS OF THESE? THEY WOULD WORK WELL IN NUMEROUS SITUATIONS:

1. ANY POLITICAL SPEECH
2. ANY POWERPOINT PRESENTATION
3. TERRELL OWENS' PRESS CONFERENCES
4. ANY SPEECH LIMITING GUN CONTROL
5. ANY WORDS SPOKEN BY A WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND- :"UNLESS" FOLLOWED BY SUCH WORDS AS: " AND , IT INVOLVES, PICKLES, F-ME PUMPS (OR A HANGING BASKET), AND A LEATHER WHIP!

MESSAGE FROM SARAH PALIN TO JOE BIDEN

Joe Biden received the following greeting from Sarah Palin before the upcoming debates:

S370H-SSV-O773H. He didn't understand the message, obviously in a code, so he sent it over to Obama. Obama couldn't figure it out either, and sent it to Nancy Pelsi, and then on to John Kerry and Al Gore. Being unsuccessful at deciphering the message, they asked Obama's Secret Service Agent to take it over to the FBI for translation. The agent responded that it didn't need to go to the FBI. They were just holding the message upside down...............

S37OH-SSV-O773H

BABY PICTURE

I GOT ALL NOSTALGIC AS I WAS SCANNING IN PICTURES LAST NIGHT AND CAME ACROSS ONE OF MY EARLIEST BABY PICTURES. I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE HOW CUTE I WAS AS A BABY!

OOPS!- WRONG PICTURE-----THIS WAS MOM'S TRIP TO VEGAS. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY---WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS.....





HE DID SHOW ME HIS MEDAL!

J

ORIGINAL OLYMPIC JOKE!

Despite warnings from Spencer- the Alpha Cat, on how to keep your eyes on "low beam":

Gregory did not heed the warning, and ended up as an entree at Mr. Wok's Sushi Bar and Olympic Emporium as "Cat on a stick" AKA, # 14, "Broccri Lo Mein"


I CAME UP WITH THIS JOKE ( not the one above- the one following) AT THE NURSES STATION THE OTHER NIGHT RIGHT AFTER THE OLYMPICS- NOW THAT IT'S WEEKS PAST, IT WILL HAVE LOST ANY HUMOR THAT IT POSSIBLY HAD. WHICH, JUDGING BY THE IMMEDIATE HURLING OF ALL STAFF MEMBERS, WAS NOT ANY AT ALL:

3 DAYS AFTER THE OLYMPICS IN CHINA:

ME: "YOU KNOW, THE OLYMPICS JUST ENDED, BUT I'M ALREADY HUNGRY, FOR SOME MORE!




............Chinese....food.......30 mins later......still hung......

OK....THINK I'LL GO POKE MYSELF IN THE EYE WITH A STICK. BET YOU WOULD LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF AT THAT. HA HA, OHH .... LOOK AT JOHN, WITH THAT POINTY STICK, STICKING OUT OF HIS EYE.....OHHHHHHH HE'S A HOOT! YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT HE'LL DO NEXT! we'll have to watch, and wait and see! Boy that was cornea, but he is an apt pupil! 30 lashes, keep a lid on it, fav Band, BLINK 132, Fav TV personality-Wink Martindale.


JOHN, PUT DOWN THE HEDGE CLIPPERS....JOHN....

OK, THE PROZAC SHOULD KICK IN ANY MINUTE.

J.

BUMPER STICKERS THAT STICK IN YOUR MIND