Friday, June 15, 2012

PUNS, JOKES, GROANERS OF ALL KINDS


PUNS, JOKES, GROANERS OF ALL KINDS!



A COLLECTION OF SOME OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE 

TACKY JOKES!









When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on m


Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she

couldn't control her pupils?


What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.


I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!


Broken pencils are pointless.


I tried to catch some fog. I mist.


What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.


England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .


I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.


I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen.

Police have nothing to go on.


I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Earthquake in Washington , D.C. its obviously the government's fault .

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too .




PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN!

A great weekend to all and happy father's day 

JMc

7 comments:

  1. Loving these, each and everyone of them.

    Happy Fathers Day to all you daddies out there.

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  2. I'm in dire need of some smiles, John, and you did the job here. :)
    Thank you.

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  3. a few good ones and lots of groans. :)

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  4. a great collection of old jokes that still make me smile

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  5. I'm still chuckling!! And just to be lazy - a comment on your shadow shots - good ones!!

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  6. Good ones - I don't think I've seen any of these ones before. Or I'm senile.

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  7. Lot's of good ones! I like it when I see ones I haven't seen before. This stuff is right up your alley!

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Incredibly smart relies: