Friday, December 28, 2007


I hope this finds everyone in a fantastic mood and great Spirits as we get ready to start 2008!

My Mantra is: ALL WILL BE GREAT: in 2008!

Now please, please- once you have recovered from the breathtaking creative genius that went into that short but profound statement I want, to hit you with another surprise!:" Yes, YOU CAN USE IT IF YOU WANT! OR NOT!!!!!!

I know, I know- but that's the kind of guy I am. Please please subjects- off your knees! The ring kissing is embarrassing! I mean I'm not the Pope or anything like that.
Hang on a sec- ......... Nope- Had to ask the wife- definitely NOT the Pope.

I do have to go in and work New Years Eve from 10-10 but usually it's not too bad a shift. I have been off since 12-20 or 12-21 and after New Years Eve I don't have to go back until the 17th of January. It just worked out that I had plenty of annual leave and two friends who are in Nursing Clinical's really needed the time, so I let them work it and I took it off!

We have been doing absolutely nothing and it has been fantastic. We have been on the lookout for a Wii, but the more I think about it the more I may let it slide. We'll go over to a friends house New Years Eve when I get off work and try theirs out to see if we would really enjoy it. My wife is disabled- I may not have told you that- with two ruptured discs in Cervical and 2 in Lumbar. She is in constant pain but handles it with a grace you would not believe.

She has been a homewrec-- HomeMAKER for the past 18 years and taking care of me she deserves a Nobel Peace prize or maybe I deserve a piece too?? We'll see. Anywhoo- we thought the Wii may be an easy way to help with range of motion on a small scale and work up to treadmill, walking together again etc. She gets along very well physically for the most part- it's just the constant, never ending pain.

We are still very very blessed to have each other and are so fortunate to have all our limbs and minds etc! So "no" complaints form this young feller at all! The Holidayze have been excellent and I'm about to get Footballed out-(if that's possible) , but when you consider Basketball and Nascar is all we'll have until next fall I get a cold shiver down my spine!

We are looking forward to maybe renting a couple of movies and maybe even going to see Tom Hank's new one in the theater. It's hard for both of us to sit for a couple of hours in those seats! How pathetic is that!!!!!

I can't wait to make the rounds and catch up on all the news. My puter (the new one) is humming along perfectly now after a major driver glitch I had to work out with an HP Deskjet All-in One car wash, printer, fax, copier, Beanie Baby machine! I put a piece of paper in it the other day and came back and there was a Grey Florida Heron folded perfectly to scale Origamii style. So I'd say it's pretty well worth the Six grand I paid for it on D-Day. Or is it e-Baby? I get those confused.

Hope everyone had a Blessed Qwanset Hut, Hannuka, Christmas in July, Sparkling 4th of Presidents Day and got all the lead lined, mercury filled parcels you wished for. But I especially hope all of you who had children had an extra special Holliday and Christmas for them. I love kids on Christmas morn!!!! Never had any of our I think we missed some really special moments there.

Well, as you can tell buy the time and the length, I don't have a whole heck of a lot planned for today! LOL. Will make the rounds and say hi to all!



Loves to you all,


Sunday, December 23, 2007



A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it.'

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this.

'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day.

'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says the man.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'She has,' says the man.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting a new kitchen.'

Friday, December 21, 2007


We are still in a severe drought- about 22" down. We recently received 1" of rain. Enough to be able to see the reflection of a tree in the pond!


A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York .

He is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Texas .

He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense!!

Deputy says,' License and registration, please.'

Lawyer says, 'What for?'

Deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

Deputy says, 'You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and
registration, please.'

Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

Deputy says, 'The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!'

Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

Deputy says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'

The deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the shit out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!

Subject: Fwd: Letter from one 'Angry Woman'

Letter from one 'Angry Woman'

I don't know who wrote it but they should have signed it. Some powerful words. This woman should run for president.

Written by a housewife from New Jersey

and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?..Well, I don't. I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia .

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care !!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem' -- Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add AND......I hope you forward all this.

'If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' Also by.. Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.'

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The America n G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.


and for no extra charge:

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on US 95 south, just outside of Washington. Nothing is moving north or south.

Suddenly a man knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened? What's the
hold up?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped George Bush, Dick Cheney, Alberto
Gonzales, Don Rumsfeld, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity & Ann Coulter.
They are asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse
them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking
up a collection."

The driver asks, "On average how much is everyone giving?"

"About a gallon."

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Prescription Medicine??? HMO's to Finally Prevail??


A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
Th e pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Saturday, December 15, 2007


Ask the American Indians what happens
when you don't control immigration FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.

Tony Kovach


Fairy Tale:

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly,
did not whine, nag, and bitch........

But this was a long time ago.....

and it was just ONE day.

The End

Wednesday, December 12, 2007



Saturday, December 8, 2007












Thursday, December 6, 2007



If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring tears to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde - If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A: Charley Weaver- Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A.: George Gobel - Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts - That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie - No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver - My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A: Vincent Price - No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q: What are "Do It"; "I Can Help"; and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A: George Gobel - I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde - Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A: Charley Weaver - Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie - Ralph, the pin boy.

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.One is politics, what is the other?
A: Paul Lynde - Tape measures.

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie - Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q: Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A: Marty Allen - Only after lights out.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde - Make him bark?

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde- Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver - It got me out of the army.

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A.. Paul Lynde - Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A.: George Gobel - Get it in his mouth.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde - Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver - I'll lend him the car; the rest is up to him.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver - His feet.

Q: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A.: Paul Lynde - Point and laugh.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007



They were together in the House.

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly
each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.
She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.
He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.
He knew this was a forbidden union and
expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...

They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand. So consumed were
they in their fear that they heard no opening
of doors...just the faint click of a camera.....

Monday, December 3, 2007


The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Saturday, December 1, 2007




My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses.

Drinks right out of the bottle.