WHY? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
MOST HAVE SEEN THESE BUT YOU DESERVE TO GROAN AGAIN!
1. Two antennas met on a
roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception
was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks
into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start
anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into
a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walked
into a bra.
5. A man walks into a
bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and
one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are
eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to
you?"
7. "Doc, I can't
stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like
Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it
common?"
"Well, It's Not
Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing
next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially
inseminated this morning."
9. An invisible man
marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The
feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some
camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
12. Two Eskimos sitting
in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly
it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
13. A woman has twins,
and gives them up for adoption.. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is
named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.'
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen
Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
14.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced
an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made
him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made
him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...A super-calloused fragile mystic
hexed by halitosis.
15. A dwarf, who was a
mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small
medium at large.
16. And finally, there
was the person who sent ten or so different puns to his friends, with the hope
that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
