Wednesday, February 20, 2013

THE RULES OF NORTH AND SOUTH CAROLINA!

 THE RULES OF RURAL SOUTH CAROLINA ARE AS FOLLOWS:



      1. PULL YOUR DROOPY PANTS UP. YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.


      2. TURN YOUR CAP THE RIGHT WAY, YOUR HEAD ISN'T CROOKED.


      3. LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT; IT'S CALLED A 'DIRT ROAD.' NO MATTER
    HOW SLOW
      YOU DRIVE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET DUST ON YOUR LEXUS. DRIVE IT OR GET
    OUT OF THE WAY.



      4. THEY ARE CATTLE. THEY'RE LIVE STEAKS. THAT'S WHY THEY SMELL
    FUNNY TO
      YOU, GET OVER IT.  DON'T LIKE IT?  YOU HAVE A CHOICE OF I-26,
    I-40, I-77, I-85, AND I-95.  PICK ONE.  THEY ALL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM
    SOUTH CAROLINA.



      5. SO YOU HAVE A $60,000 CAR. WE'RE IMPRESSED. WE HAVE $100,000
    TRACTORS
      AND HAY BALERS THAT ARE DRIVEN ONLY 3 WEEKS A YEAR.


      6.. SO EVERY PERSON IN RURAL SOUTH CAROLINA  WAVES. WE THINK OF IT AS
      BEING FRIENDLY. TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT.


      7. IF THAT CELL PHONE RINGS WHILE AN 8-POINT BUCK AND 3 DOES ARE
    COMING
      IN, WE WILL SHOOT IT OUT OF YOUR HAND. YOU BETTER HOPE YOU DON'T
    HAVE IT
      UP TO YOUR EAR AT THE TIME.



      8. YEAH, WE EAT FRIED POTATOES, GRAVY, BEANS & CORNBREAD. WE FRY
    OUR FISH AFTER
      'CATCHIN 'EM'. YOU REALLY WANT SUSHI & CAVIAR? IT'S AVAILABLE AT THE
      CORNER BAIT SHOP.



      9. TO US, THE 'OPENER' REFERS TO THE FIRST DAY OF DEER SEASON.
    IT'S A RELIGIOUS
      HOLIDAY HELD ON THE MONDAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.


      10. WE OPEN DOORS FOR WOMEN. THAT IS APPLIED TO ALL WOMEN,
    REGARDLESS OF AGE.


      11. NO, THERE'S NO 'VEGETARIAN SPECIAL' ON THE MENU. ORDER COUNTRY
    HAM OR
      FRIED CHICKEN OR YOU CAN ORDER THE CHEF'S SALAD AND PICK OFF THE 2
    POUNDS
      OF HAM & TURKEY.



      12.THERE ARE THREE MAIN DISHES: MEATS
      (INCLUDES FISH), VEGETABLES, AND BREADS. WE USE FOUR SPICES: SALT,
    PEPPER,
      HOT SAUCE AND KETCHUP. OH, YEAH...WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU FOLKS IN
    JERSEY
      CALL THAT STUFF YOU EAT...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! !!


      13. YOU BRING 'COKE' INTO THE HOUSE, IT BETTER BE BROWN, WET AND
    SERVED
      OVER ICE.



      14. YOU BRING 'MARY JANE' INTO THE HOUSE, SHE BETTER BE CUTE, KNOW
    HOW TO
      SHOOT, AND HAVE LONG HAIR.


      15. COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL ARE AS IMPORTANT HERE AS PRO
    BALL, AND
      A LOT MORE FUN TO WATCH.



      16. YEAH, WE HAVE GOLF COURSES. BUT DON'T HIT THE WATER HAZARDS---IT
      SPOOKS THE FISH.



      17. COLLEGES? WE HAVE THEM ALL OVER. WE HAVE STATE UNIVERSITIES,
    COMMUNITY
      COLLEGES, AND VO-TECHS. THEY COME OUT OF THERE WITH AN EDUCATION
    PLUS A
      LOVE OF GOD AND COUNTRY, AND THEY STILL WAVE AT EVERYBODY WHEN
    THEY COME
      HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.


      18. WE HAVE A WHOLE TON OF FOLKS IN THE ARMY, NAVY, AIR FORCE, AND
      MARINES.. SO DON'T MESS WITH US. IF YOU DO, YOU WILL GET WHIPPED
    BY THE
      BEST.


      19. TURN DOWN THAT CAR STEREO! THAT THUMPITY-THUMP NOISE AIN'T
      MUSIC, ANYWAY. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE THAN WE WANT TO
    SEE YOUR
      BOXERS. REFER BACK TO #1.


      20. 4 INCHES ISN'T A BLIZZARD-IT'S A FLURRY. DRIVE IN IT LIKE YOU
    HAVE SOME
      SENSE , AND DON'T TAKE ALL THE BREAD, MILK, AND TOILET PAPER FROM THE
      GROCERY STORES. THIS AIN'T ALASKA !! WORST CASE... YOU MAY HAVE TO
    LIVE A
      WHOLE DAY WITHOUT CROISSANTS. OUR PICKUPS WITH SNOW BLADES WILL
    HAVE YOU
      OUT THE NEXT DAY.





     THAT IS ALL!
JMc


8 comments:

  1. cool pix, Bro!

    Sounds like a good place to be if I could find some vegetables to go with my bar B Q......LOL


    ALOHA from Waikiki!
    Comfort Spiral
    ~ > < } } ( ° > <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been to SC and they have been smoking hemp far longer than anywhere else in the country. the rest is just common courtesy, who the hell would want their cell phone when out killing grillin' meat? But then you all have some of the STUPIDEST politicians I have ever seen but they all probably went to out of state schools right?

      Delete
  2. Wonderful post. Your ability to use humour in this way never fails to amaze me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't think you are qualified to talk about snow. *snicker*. Frankly, we don't get nearly the snow where I live below the snow belt now. But, yeah, people need to get over themselves when they visit a less urban areas. It's a different lifestyle- and not a lesser one.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cloudia- Thanks a bunch! Love ya!

    J


    Mark- I don't think those clowns went to school at all. How embarrassing!

    J



    Tracy-- Thanks my friend!


    J


    Jean- How right you are about the snow. From FL to SC I haven't seen much. But I did drive Ambulances in what we have had. Now talk about a FUN SHOW!!!!!

    J

    ReplyDelete
  5. Okay, I'm from down there but I've been away for a long time, yet I still know a 4 inch snow is a blizzard there (it's what we got the other night here). And, when you grow up on the coast, you probably missed more school for hurricanes than snow!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Did you come up with these? HAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey there!
    Great photos and funny words! that's all we need in a blog.
    Well I do need one other thing. I need that darn bacon wrapped turkey!

    ReplyDelete

Incredibly smart relies: