Thursday, February 2, 2012

DIAGNOSING A CAR



DIAGNOSING A CAR

Ree reee reee reee--The sound is incessant. I could barely get my Cholesterol order in at the Drive through due to the BELT LIKE squeaking noise coming from my Kuwait Dependent Traveling machine--aka- Car! Gradually growing louder I knew I had to get it looked at before it left me stranded, so I took it to Joe's Tire Emporium, Sauna and Nail Salon. It was promptly diagnosed as a Torsion Converter and would cost around $2000.00 to have fixed as this was an integral part of the Transmission.


What it isn't, but I was hoping it was!!!
A SIMPLE BELT! TEAL COLORED!


My Landlord owned and operated a Transmission shop and I had helped him out several times for some extra money. He agreed to listen to it, and stated it definitely was not the transmission. He wasn't exactly sure what it was and this had him stumped. Not having a dependable mechanic, (mine retired) I took to the yellow pages and through my tears and wondering how we were going to even live another day since this was our only vehicle- I was driven to Drink!

NOTE TO SELF : HAVE TWO VEHICLES IF POSSIBLE- even if one is a Moped!

I started sipping my Sprite and called a couple of Automotive Repair Shops extremely expensive have you by the nads repair places, and was told a myriad of possibilities, all costing about as much as replacing the tiles on the now defunct Space Shuttle, and they could see me in two weeks. 

WHEN DID AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR REPLACE DOCTORS????

I'LL TAKE THE HUMAN BODY ANY DAY OVER THIS!!!

I saw a place in the phone book simply called Buck's Automotive very near the house but I had never seen the shop before, so I dismissed it. I settled on a place called Teals, because it sounded pretty, and the Land lord had known a person who knew a friend who had driven by it once! Calling my barber I cancelled my appointment for today as I was going to take the car to TEALS, and probably have to go rent a car so this one wouldn't leave us or cause any more damage. I always expect the worse- the Power of Positive thinking left me many years ago.......DEEP BREATH

Whilst talking to my barber who has cut my hair for 25 years I asked him if he knew of a good mechanic..and he said I get my work done at
are you ready???


TEALS!!

No, I'm kidding----- BUCKS!!!! I couldn't believe it--yet I should because good things sometimes happen to OK people! I took another long pull off the Sprite, enjoying the fizz and burn as it glided inevitably towards my pylorus. Anticipating the high that...OK, OK...I'll stop. As I lit the Doobie that I had confiscated from all the fired BBQ employees...OK...... that's bogus too, but it's a stupid car story for goodness sakes!

I went to Buck's- it's a Cam Sensor, will not cause the car to leave me, and they can fix it Monday in one day for around $300.00!!!

IT'S UNDER HERE!

The End


LOVE YOU ALL- LIKE MY CAR- LOVE MY BARBER,  
LOVE TEAL!!!.........

JMc


THE CULPRIT
YOU THINK I COULD AT LEAST WASH IT. BUT ON THIS MUDDY DIRT ROAD--WHY BOTHER!