Saturday, October 2, 2010

I BOUGHT A NEW MONITOR!




I BOUGHT A NEW MONITOR! BUT FIRST- 
I HAVE A TOOTHACHE! SO WHAT? IT HURTS, THAT'S SO WHAT. 
I KNOW MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO HEAR OTHERS WHINE ON THEIR BLOGS- BUT DAMMIT THIS HURTS, AND IS GERMAIN-- (JACKSON) TO THE STORY...SO QUIT THINKING OF YOURSELF AND JUST READ- IT'S NOT THAT HARD A CONCEPT! SHEESH! SO I CALL MY DENTIST FRIEND THE FIRST OF LAST WEEK! AND HE'LL GET ME RIGHT IN.
because
I HAVE PULL!ar ar

YOU SEE MY OLD ONE IS A CRT- WEIGHS 653 LBS, IS 8 YEARS OLD, AND IS STARTING TO ACT UP! IT IS GOING TO GIVE UP THE GHOST, FULLY ANY DAY NOW....SO

oh, AND WHEN I TURNED IT ON, THE LIGHTS DIM, & 3 OR 4 HOUSES DOWN THE BLOCK LOSE ELECTRICITY!
It's carbon footprint is the size of the Exxon Valdez and the Iraqi oil field fires of '02!

OLD

IT HAS SERVED ME WELL, ABOVE AND BEYOND IT'S EXPECTED LIFETIME. I BOUGHT IT AT WALLY WORLD FOR $99.00 ON SALE--AND IT HAS LASTED ME 6 YEARS, AND 3 COMPUTERS! I WAS HOPING TO GET ONE OR TWO YEARS OUT OF IT AT THE MOST!! 

It was American made-  an off brand, and look at what it gave me!! 6 years of quality!!! 


 BUT HE WANTED ME TO WAIT , SO THE ANTIBIOTICS, AND PAIN
THANK YA   JE' Z-----SUS
MEDICATION.
THAT WOULD SUPPOSEDLY HAVE TIME TO GET THE INFECTION OUT. YES, I BOUGHT IT! WE ARE COLLEGE BUDDIES AND HE WOULDN'T LIE TO ME. SO ANYWAY-
  MONDAY, I GO TO GET THIS TOOTH FROM HELL REMOVED!! I HAVE PULL-(ar ar!).
MEANWHILE- I NEVER BUY ANY MAJOR ELECTRONIC DEVICE WITHOUT READING ALL THE REVIEWS, GETTING DNA SAMPLES, AND REALLY RESEARCHING THE PRODUCT.... SO I'M HOPING THE OLD MONITOR WILL MAKE IT TILL NEXT TUESDAY OR SO......


SO, I HEAD TO WALLY WORLD TO PICK UP MY PRESCRIPTIONS. AND I TAKE 1 (MAYBE 2)-  OF THE ANTIBIOTICS.....OR SO I THOUGHT! I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT AFTER THAT---- (BESIDES MY WIFE WAS DRIVING.)  DID I TELL YOU THE WIDTH OF HER LEG?

IS IT PRONOUNCED- ACER? JUST LIKE IT SOUNDS? LOL!
NEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOO HOOOOO!
AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO HAVE MY WIFE'S LEG WIDTH ON IT! HOW ODD IS THAT??????.....

NEW--ASS-ER? ACE-ER?


ANYWAY- WE GET HOME, AND I HAVE THIS NEW COMPUTER MONITOR, A SWIFFER WET JET, A 3 CELL MAG-LIGHT FLASHLIGHT, SOME MOUSETRAPS, AND ONE TRAP THAT I SWEAR WOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD MY WIFE'S LEG! (WE HAVE A TREE RAT INFESTATION AND IT'S WAR!) ------SQUIRREL'S IN THE WALLS, WITH 2 CATS AND A LAB MAKE FOR INTERESTING TV NIGHTS!


OH- PLUS I HAD A RECEIPT WITH $329.00 WORTH OF OTHER CRAP I DON'T REMEMBER GETTING! 8 "D" CELL BATTERIES????  HMMMMM- OH--... I DID TELL YOU I GOT A FLASHLIGHT RIGHT? WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE, SAY NO MORE. A PACK OF 4 RECHARGEABLE LITHIUM ION BATTERIES- FOR THE CAMERA?

LITHIUM ION--HMMMM..... I FIGURED EITHER I WAS BI-POLAR, OR WANTED TO TAKE SOME PICTURES! EITHER WAY- THEY WOULDN'T GO TO WASTE! SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT TIME IT IS, AND I'M HAPPILY TYPING AND LOOKING AT MY NEW MONITOR- PLUS.......



 AND I SWEAR TO YOU- THIS IS NOW INSTALLED IN MY DESKTOP AND I HAVE NO FRIGGIN' IDEA WHAT IT DOES, AND I'M NOT A TECH IDIOT--ALTHOUGH AT THIS POINT ____________ FOR DUMMIES, IS ENTERING MY MIND! I'M TOLD IT WILL GET HD TV PICTURES. WELL ISN'T THAT SPECIAL? WHAT THE HECK ARE THE TWO OTHER LARGE SCREEN TV'S FOR??????? AND WHERE ARE THOSE VOICES COMING FROM THAT TOLD ME THAT?

AND WHY AM I OUT OF ANTIBIOTICS ALREADY?


SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I CAN USE THIS TV TUNER CARD FOR, IN A DESKTOP COMPUTER??????? I DON'T WANT TO WATCH TV ON A COMPUTER SCREEN THE SIZE OF MY WIFE'S THIGH! I WANT TO WATCH IT ON THE BIG SCREEN THE SIZE OF HER _ _ _,  IN THE LIVING ROOM OR BEDROOM!


WELL- AT LEAST I CAN WATCH FOOTBALL! IT'S FUNNY TO SEE THE RUNNING BACKS DISAPPEAR INTO THE VALLEY OF OBLIVION, AND WAIT TO SEE IF THEY MAKE IT OUT THE OTHER SIDE!

CRACKS ME UP!!




WAIT-

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

A LOUD SNAP? I THINK I JUST CAUGHT SOMETHING.........

OMG--HERE COMES MY WIFE LIMPING DOWN THE HALL!  WITH A BASIC INSTINCT KNIFE IN HER HANDS....WELL MAYBE IT WON'T HURT AS BAD IF I TAKE ANOTHER PILL REAL QUICK--  ..... I GUESS SHE FORGOT ABOUT THE TRAP....I REALLY DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD FIT......."HI HONEY"!

JMc

"COME BACK AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN-- TIS' ONLY A FLESH WOUND",

"NO IT ISN'T, I'VE CUT YOUR BLOODY ARM OFF!"

"IT'S ONLY A SCRATCH"....

WE ARE NO LONGER THE NIGHTS WHO SAY

"NI"

AS IN- NIGHT!