HINT: They are good to eat and no Kin to Chuck.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.
2. My grandpa started walking five miles
a day when he was 60..
Now he's 97 years old...
and we haven't a clue where the ---- he is.
3. I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
4. The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
5. I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
6. I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
...apparently you have to actually go there.
7. Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
8. I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
9 The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
10. If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
11. I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,.......
just getting over the hill was enough.
12. We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our skulls.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
13. Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
You could run this over to your friends