Thursday, July 2, 2009

MORE TWISTED HUMOR? NO ADULT WARNING- SORRY!

EAT DE WILDE BEAST- THERE'S MORE MEAT!

OHHHH....THANK YOU....GO GATORS



THINK YOU HAD A BAD DAY!!!????



OK, things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These . . .


In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed,
on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with
the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths
occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was
assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday
morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses
nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible
phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books,
and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock
struck 11:00 , Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper , entered the
ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum
cleaner.


The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill
in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and
applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate
them both.


STILL HAVING A BAD DAY???


A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two
places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.


Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a
slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke
loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless
protesters were trampled to death.


Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It
came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb,
he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!

There now, Feeling Better?