Wednesday, April 29, 2009

ACCOUNTABILITY

I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH IS TRUE: BUT THE URINE TEST- AN THE IDEALS; I DO AGREE WITH: BLUE IS THE E-MAIL I RECEIVED,


JOHN


Urine Test -- This guy has a point!
This was written by a construction worker in Fort McMurray

Read on . . .

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes, and the government
distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay check, I work on a rig site for a Fort McMurray construction project.

At any time I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem. HOWEVER, what I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Understand - I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their ass, drink beer and smoke dope. Could you imagine how much money this country would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?


THE FOLLOWING IS MINE.

INTERESTING THOUGHT HUH? THE REST = MY THOUGHTS.

NOTE: I AM IN NO WAY PREDJUDICED, (WELL, AS MUCH AS A PERSON "CAN'T" BE, HONESTLY BE, IN LIFE & MEDICINE). YOU HAVE INHERENT PREDJUDICES YOU'D BE LYING IF YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE- BUT I HONESTLY BELIEVE IN HELPING ANYONE....WHO NEEDS IT, AND NOT EVEN NECESSARILY DESERVES IT..............ANYONE EXCEPT THOSE WHO GET UP IN YOUR FACE & WHO SAY

IT'S THE """""YOU OWE ME """"""""""HEAD BOBBING****** GROUP OF ANY COLOR OR ETHNIC GROUP WHO SAY:

BUT IT'S FREE!!!!!!


BUT IT'S FREE! IF I HEAR THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE IN THE EYE WITH A FORK!

THESE PEOPLE PRESENT TO THE URGENT SCARE- FOR A MEDICAL EMERGENCY MIND YOU, THIS INCLUDED THE ONES WITH THE BELLY PAINS THAT WE MAY NEED TO BE NPO

(NOTHING BY MOUTH) TO DO A CT OF THE ABDOMEN/PELVIS OR AN ULTRASOUND ETC.

& THEY ORDER WHAT THEY WANT---AND WE GIVE HONEY GRAHAMS, SALTINES AND PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


NOW OUR CLIENT REPS--GET THIS----- STAND THE ENTIRE SHIFT

WAITING ON "CLIENTS" TO COME IN.

THEY TOOK THEIR CHAIRS AWAY---NO, I'M NOT KIDDING---

REGISTRATION, OUT FRONT--THEY TOOK THEIR CHAIRS AWAY- THEY GREET SICK PATIENTS STANDING AND SIGN THEIR NAMES IN, OFFER THEM A BLANKET AND A DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M SORRY BUT- GET THEIR NAMES, ADDRESS, INSURANCE INFO- SEE IF THEY ARE HOLDING ONE EYE, STANDING ON BOTH LEGS, AREN'T DRAGGING A BABY BY THE UMBILICAL CORD.............. AND THELL THEM TO SIT THEIR ASSES DOWN AND WE'LL BE WITH THEM AS SOON AS HUMANLY OR HUMANELY POSSIBLE.........AND WE WILL!!!!!!!

ASK THEM TO SIT DOWN FOR REGISTRATION AND TRIAGE-EXCUSE ME: ASSESSMENT! WE CAN'T CALL IT TRIAGE ANYMORE, BUT THAT'S FOR ANOTHER DAY:

THEN THE IT'S FREE VISIT MAY GO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.............................

PATIENT: "UMMMMM: "YES, I WOULD LIKE A PREGNANCY TEST, AND WOULD YOU PLEASE MAKE SURE IT'S A QUALITATIVE, UMMM HMMMM, AND I'LL HAVE THE 'QUANT' (HOW FAR ALONG I IS) ON THE SIDE, (AFTER ALL HONEY, IT'S FREE!) SO I CAN TAKE IT TO MEDICAID PEEPLES IN THE THE MORNING.....CHADRON, FORMICA, CHONCHITA, MONETTA-SYPHILLIS-------SET YOU ASS DOWN OR THIS NICE MAN WON'T BRING YO ANOTHER SPRITE AN SOME STICKERS! WILL YOU HONEY?".......

'AND COULD YOU GET MOMMA ANOTHER BLANKET- AFTER ALL- IT'S FREE!!!!!!!!!!"

ANNOUNCED TO THE ROOOM AT LARGE..............AND JUST AS I'M ABOUT TO SLAM THE...CLOSE THE CURTAIN

"AND PLEASE PUT THE TV ON JUDGE TANQEERAY- UMMMMM HMMM IT ON CHANNEL 7- THANK YA BABY".............I DUNNO WHO DA BABY DADDY.....BIT I HEARD................................." TRAILING OFF......UMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMMMM......................"

LATER THAT SAME VISIT:

& WOULD YOU MIND WRITING THAT PRESCRIPTION FO'------- CHILDRENS' TYLENOL ON A "SCRIPTION" BLANK, ( I NOWS IT OVER DA COUNTER (HEAD BOBBIN TIME)................CAUSE IF'N YOU DO- THE PHARMACY WILL FILL IT FO' FREE. IF NOT WE WE WE WE WE WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!

IF IT'S ON THE BLANK- GUESS WHAT? WE WE WE WE WE WE PAID FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO WE WE WE EVER EVEN GET A THANK YOU? I KNOW- SILLY OF ME TO ASK..MY BAD.


I believe that a test should be taken prior to conception, and if you don't make a minimum grade on it, SORRY------it's "DEPO" back in the drinking water for you! Depoprovera is the injectable 4 month long acting Birth Control method some people choose.......and the Government could choose......wait- that's just a conspiracy theory, that wouldn't ever really happen would it?


Now I"M NOT SAY'N........I'M JUST SAYIN>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


either way:



GO PEE IN A CUP


Sunday, April 26, 2009

WHY MEN ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO DRESS THEIR CHILDREN!!!!!!! (caution-Language)









THIS IS SO MALE I HAD TO POST IT TWICE!!! WHO ARE WE TRYING TO FOOL?????

Saturday, April 25, 2009

SING TO TUNE OF PINK PANTHER THEME

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU POUR A POUND OF SUGAR ON A FIRE ANT BED?


DEAD ANTS, DEAD ANTS, DEAD ANTSDEADANTDEADANTS, DEAD ANTS, DAED ANTS: DA DA DA DUM!

THX HAMMER

Friday, April 24, 2009

BEAUTIFUL WEATHER!!!!

GONNA BE IN THE 80'S WITH HARDLY ANY CHANCE OF RAIN THIS NEXT TEN DAYS. WE ARE PACKING UP AND PARING DOWN, GETTING RID OF WORLDLY CRAP. SO WHEN WE MOVE WE WILL JUST TAKE THE STUFF WE USE!!!! THE IF WE REALLY NEED SOMETHING, WE'LL SEE ABOUT GETTING IT. WE ARE CUTTING BACK AND GETTING READY TO LIVE A LIFESTYLE FIT FOR RETIREMENT SO WHEN IT COMES WE'LL ALREADY BE PRACTICING IT!

GOING GREEN WITH THE LIGHT BULBS, AND TRYING TO SAVE AND CONSERVE AS MUCH WATER AND ELECTRICITY AS POSSIBLE WHILE STILL MAINTAINING A COMFORTABLE LIFESTYLE. I THINK WE WILL BENEFIT FROM IT AS A COUPLE AND IT WILL BE AN ADVENTURE. WE'LL PRETEND WE'RE CAMPING OUT. (IN A HOUSE!) lol.

GONNA KILL TOMORROW---BOMB AN OLD STORAGE SHED WITH ROACHES FROM THE JURASSIC PERIOD AND GIANT WOOLLY MASTODON RATS! CAN'T WAIT TO CAP THEIR ASS! SUGAR ME TO DEATH SOME FIRE AUNTS ALA HAMMER. MUCHAS GRACIAS MI AMIGO. IF I SPEND $28.00 ON SUGAR AND THEY GET BIGGER, I'M GONNA KICK SOME BUTT!!!!!!

WELL, GONNA CLOSE. SHOULD HEAR SOME VALID NEWS ABOUT MY DAD AS MY STEPMOTHERS DAUGHTER IS THERE THIS WEEK. I'M NOT SURE IF HE'S ABOUT TO DIE, OR OUT MOWING THE LAWN. BUT SERIOUSLY I'M GETTING SOME VERY MIXED SIGNALS AND I CAN'T PUT MY LIFE ON HOLD, AND SCHOOL MUCH LONGER.

WELL ENOUGH FOR NOW.

NEW STUFF AND FUNNY PICS COMONG SOON!

J

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

IRIS JOKE!

You've seen the pic of the Yellow Iris below. Well, I took another one to work, and it has two blooms on it. One completely open and the other a bud. When I got to work I put it in a cup and put ice in it so it would stand up, and then added Mountain Dew. The Dew added exactly the same color to the ice as was the Iris!

I usually use Sprite (it really does work to lengthen the shelf life of cut flowers. I also use two or 3 cans on my Christmas tree). It keeps the needles green and on the tree better than anything else I've tried. I don't know how this Iris will do on crack- as the Dew has all that caffeine in it. As the day wore on and the Ice melted I noticed the Mountain Dew water was exactly the same color as the Iris!

Then it hit me! I told two girls from x-ray that I was trying an experiment. It's called reverse Osmosis, and the color of the Flower will turn the water yellow, and the flower will in turn draw up the Sprite...and turn completely white!!!!! (they think it's Sprite I used!!!!)

Five or 6 people were biting their lips to keep from loosing it, but backed me up. So one girl is going to check on it tomorrow and take a pic with her phone, and the other is going to check it on Thursday. Oh, if I only could find a white Iris or some close flower I would sneak it in there and replace it! This is going to be a riot. I can't wait to see what my co-workers hear them say when they come by to check on it!!!!!!!

Happy Mid-week--Spring is Glorious! Going to work in the yard tomorrow doing one of my favorite things. Pretending I'm a giant and Kill millions of Fire Ants! After all the rain- the mounds are up perfect. I'll fry a couple with a magnifying glass, just to recapture some youth and the poison the rest. Those things pack a whallop!!!!

Love to all,

J

Saturday, April 18, 2009

TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES!

THIS IS THE FIRST IRIS OF THE SEASON AND WE HAVE ABOUT 15 MORE BLOOMS OF THE SAME COLOR READY TO BURST FORTH. THE OTHER TWO PICS (BELOW) ARE JUST SOME TINY FLOWERS THAT GOD GAVE TO US!









ECONOMY


CATS ARE SOOOO DRAMATIC!!!!!

THERE ARE SO MANY RUMORS AND SO MUCH NEWS COVERAGE OF OUR CURRENT ECONOMIC SITUATION.

WHAT IS THE TRUTH?

IT HAS BEEN LIKENED TO THE CARTER ADMINISTRATION AND WITH REAGANOMICS FOLLOWING THAT- WE ARE TOLD THIS IS CYCLIC, AND REPUBLICANS HELD THE HOUSE AND CONGRESS FOR 8 YEARS. NOW IT'S THE DEMOCRATS TURN AND SUPPOSEDLY THE WHOLE PROCESS WILL CYCLE THROUGH AGAIN.

NOW I MAY TOTALLY HAVE MY HEAD I THE SAND AND LIVING ON BLIND FAITH, BUT I BELIEVE GOD HAS EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL; AND WILL HELP US AS AND "IF" WE TURN TO BACK TO HIM AS A NATION. HOWEVER, TURN WE MUST.

OTHERWISE HE WILL, OUT OF OUR FREEWILL ALLOW US TO RUN HEADLONG OFF THE CLIFF. (THE LEMMING SYNDROME :-). I'M STILL PUTTING MY FAITH IN AMERICANS AND OUR CONSTITUTION- AND WOE TO ANYONE WHO TAMPERS WITH THE CONSTITUTION TOO MUCH. LEAVE GUN CONTROL ALONE- ECONOMISTS, LISTEN TO GREENSPAN IN THE BACKGROUND, HOUSE AND SENATE- PLEASE USE COMMON SENSE!

I THINK WE AS ALWAYS CAN PULL OURSELVES OUT OF THIS SPIRAL DUE TO THE UNQUENCHABLE, INDOMITABLE AMERICAN SPIRIT.

MEANTIME, I'M GETTING A CUP AND LYING BESIDE 'EL GATO' IN THE PICTURE.

ON A POSITIVE NOTE- SPRING IS HERE IN SC, AND WE HAVE SOME BEAUTIFUL IRIS'S UP ALREADY! I'LL TRY AND GET A FEW BETTER PICS UP!

J

Saturday, April 11, 2009

TIME TO MOVE??????




I decided to walk to the mailbox today- not quite 1/2 a mile-(yes we live IN) the woods. Oh, by the way- the thunderstorms split apart and one went North and one went South. The southern one Killed one person and injured 9. Prayer does work!

I cut through a fairly open Pine Thicket which is a beautiful stroll and was nearing an adjacent field thinking of all things about how prevalent Rattlesnakes used to be in my home State of Fla.

You guessed it. Not 3 feet from my feets I heard that unmistakable whirr of a Rattlers tale. If you ever heard it for real you NEVER forget it. I spent most of my life in the woods unattended, with friends exploring. Back in the early to mid 60's when I was 10-12, starting in that exploratory stage- the woods and world were wide open to us. We could stay until dark without worry!!! Oh, how I yearn for those simpler times.

I was also taken hunting by my Father and have pics of me with guns as early as age 6. Just posing with them- not actually using them. So I have a lot of Outdoor knowledge from Experience. Not because I'm smart. But push come to shove I could provide for my family and live outdoors with just the basics. I'm not quite Survivorman- but I'm not clueless.

Needless to say, I took a slow step backwards and started looking for what? Those who said the snake were wrong!!!!!!

I was of course looking for a stick with which to poke it and piss sorry; Hiss it off more. It was instinctual what can I say. I was able to get fairly close and caught a glimpse of it as it burrowed under some leaves. I had a pair of Deck shoes on- (been funny if I was wearing Moccasins huh?)
No socks and a pair of sweat pants. (Ladies- please......) So I felt totally protected!!! I immediately wanted to find it so I could run home and get my????? GUN---NO!!!!!! My camera, stay with me people.........

Anyway- of course the batteries were dead and my extra pair had 3/4 charge, so they are all charging now. It is supposed to get up into the high 70's today and with all the rain; that is what pushed him out of his hole after such cold nights. He was just doing his thing, and nobody but me cuts through there. If they do they should get bit to learn a valuable life lesson. I don't know what the take home lesson would be amidst the intense pain, vomiting and swelling, but I'm sure some good would come of it. Bites a rarely fatal.

Anyway, with such high temps he will probably be on the move, esp. now that I totally wrecked his hiding place whilst poking around for him, so I probably won't go back, sans Snake Chaps and Boots. That's for serious hunting when you can't even see where you are putting you feet, not pansy Pine thicket walking.

Anyway, I have to go clean out my pants, really should have done that before I wrote this. However I will have to spend two hours unloading the bathroom, as you all know, because that's where I spend the night during Tornado warnings!

Happy Easter- He is Risen. I Love you all,

J

Friday, April 10, 2009

TORNADOES!!!!!!



TORNADO WARNING FOR SOUTHEAST


SEVERAL TORNADO'S HAVE ALREADY HIT IN TENNESSEE AND WE HAVE TORNADO WARNINGS POSTED FOR COLUMBIA UNTIL 9:00 P.M. TONIGHT.


I'LL BE IN THE BATHROOM IF YOU NEED ME!!

J

SEE PREVIOUS POST.




Monday, April 6, 2009

SPRING TIME IN THE SOUTH!






KISS MY BUTT GOODBYE!!!!!!!!



Hi all!


Happy Easter! Waiting on Spring. All the little greenery has poked it's head up- it was supposed to reach 81 yesterday- NOT! And it will be 36-31 tonight in the area. That is SC in the Spring. We also Severe Thunderstorm warnings out as well as a Tornado warning!



Ahhhhhhhh---- Gotta love Spring- the possible smell of strewn & destroyed Mobile Homes!!!!!!! Hey, we're in one so I ain't makin' fun o' nobody but me right now! I did take my Velvet Elvis Tapestry and and Motorcycle cover off the wall. They really piss Tornadoes off!

TIP: STAY IN THE CRAPPER!!!! YOU ALMOST ALWAYS CAN FIND A TOTALLY INTACT TOILET AMONGST ALL THE RUBBLE!!!!!!!

Love to you all!

J