Friday, June 27, 2008

BACK ON TRACK

CAT BURGLER


I'm finding that the more I think I know and understand about the very basics of listening to and obeying God, the LESS I KNOW! I have gone back and forth with school, clinical's, starting a new position at work, etc. I roll with the punches and say yes to all schedule changes, even to the detriment of my wife's and mines social life-HA! No more. I want , asked for and GOT my old 3 -12's back. I'm not sure what days yet, but this new thing we tried about killed me. Literally! I started having slight chest pain again and a lot of stress, and no sleep- about 2-3 hours a night! So after only 3 weeks and I said enough!!! I'm still going from clinical to management-just not this particular route this fast!

The latest is I was cut from 12 hr shifts to 3 -8 hour shifts and being able to work the other 12 in any time I wanted to help me physically. Thinking this would alleviate some of the 12-14 hour shifts the 12's turn into. A dream schedule right? NOT. Ordering the supplies and putting them up for the entire Urgent Scare about killed me. There was no structure at all and I need that, especially at work! I was working harder and longer with the new and improved schedule. It was two full pallets of boxes every week to be brought around and put up, not to mention the linen carts, which initially was my poor man's stress test that sent me for my bypass.

I just can't physically do it, and then work another 8 to 10 hours after that doing patient care. My first love and my passion is suffering- that's not my first love and passion- LOL- Patient care is-=- duh?. So I talked to my boss about it and was very worried about letting him down. I needn't have been been. He was so gracious and so nice and said no problem, we said we would give it a try and if it didn't work we could change back. So I'm going to be going back to my 3 twelves as a Tech and this will take a lot of the burden off of me while I'm doing the online classes. I still have 2 A's so far again this block! Yeah!

I know I've said that I believe nothing happens by chance and everything is by divine design and I still believe that. There is a path between His perfect will and His permissive will, and the permissive path due due to our choices as free will agents is very wide and general. I've been trying to paint Him into my box- something I try so very hard not to do! But that is usually your Achilles heel and where Satan strikes first, to try to get you discouraged. Well it won't work. Even with a 5 year old fridge starting to not cool- I'm not going to get down. We've cleaned the back and all the dust, it just seems like there's not enough air blowing in the refrigerator part and it's about 50 degrees in there.

I'll trouble shoot a little more and then call someone. Boy I hate mechanical breakdowns on cars and TV's and appliances. I can fix almost anything else. Now I know what God means when he says "Don't say tomorrow I'm going to do this or that, or next year I will be doing this or that. Just sit back and allow each day to come and wash over you one by one and do absolutely the best you can with the circumstances and people He puts in front of you that day. We are responsible for only the very minute we live in!

I'm going to take some pressure off of myself and get back to blogging a little more, doing my schoolwork and going to work and coming home tired. I think that will make me feel successful in my own eyes, and I know that's all my beautiful wife wants out of me. Just to be happy with what we have.

Well I guess I'll turn in now and see what tomorrow brings. We had some kick butt lightening and 1" of rain here today but we are still 9 inches in deficit!

See you all soon,

PS: All my wife and I want out of life is a little Pontoon boat and a place to tie it up and launch it so we won't have to trailer it. We will sleep on air mattresses and camp on the Islands in Lake Murray and Striper Fish. Put a little Hibachi grill on the front with a nice top and side flaps for rainy nights, the stars and the water lapping against the side of the boat with a slight breeze blowing, and a cool Gin and Tonic for me and a Margarita for her......mmmmm....mmmmmm. We don't want a big mortgage nor a big house payment. We have very basic simple needs. So if anyone wants to send us a Pontoon boat, I'll take it. Or the cash for a new one we can keep up, and a little slip to keep er tied up at so we don't have to trailer it.

J

I'll keep dreaming..it's a wonderful, beautiful dream..something to reach for and set your sights on! And oh, so sweet when you achieve it.!