Monday, June 30, 2008

HOORAY- NEW SCHEDULE IS AWESOME!!

A BEE

SOME BLUE

A RAGGEDY OLD SHOE

AND A "SON"-RISE JUST FOR YOU!



I'M OFF THE ORDERING AND WEEKEND SHIFTS! Praise the Lord. My new schedule is the best I've had in all the years I've been there. Every other week I get a 4 day weekend, I never work more than two 12's in a row, and it is going to be awesome!. Thank you Lord!

This is just the best news ever. But I'm not excited, nope not in the least. I'm cool calm and collected.

Whooooooooo Hooooooooo!

Yes! Hope to have some neat stuff coming up in blogdom so keep on checking in. I actually was averaging about 40 a day and then it really dropped off, so Thanks to all of you who swing by. I really appreciate each and every one of you!

Hey guys I hit 10K. I think it was Seaspray, or someone from her site! What a 1/4 milestone! I can die in peace now. I really don't know what the stat counters show you, as I just have a terrific time laughing, sharing and cutting up with you guys. This was just going to be my on-line journal, but some of it, well- it's not so much too private- it just wouldn't make any sense to anyone but me-- with the jots and titties--(sorry) tittles that I would write down. I will however take the time to go back and reread every devotional for the past year (or at least 6 months), and see what was happening 3-5, even 10 years ago to the day, and add that to where I am now. It really is an awesome road map. I have that much written in notebooks and my Oswald Chambers Devotional, and it got so messy, I thought I would do it on-line. I probably should just have a private personal one for just my notes.

If you have never kept a journal, (and it doesn't have to be spiritual), it's pretty neat to look back and see where you've been, come from and hopefully, where you are heading! It'll be kinda neat reading it in the Nursing Home,with drool proof pages. Like a big ass Dr. Suess book.

John used to journal
john used to rant,
john loved a great cartoon,
john just shit his pants.
Horton heard it plop,
no- no, more like a flop,
a man in white is pissed,
he's runing with a mop.
he's running in the sunshine,
now he's in the shade,
look, there's ol' Hammer,
pulling pins on ass grenades!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

THE GARDEN OF LIFE---DIG IT!


Come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses....


FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,

PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:


1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart

3. Peace of soul



PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:


1. Squash gossip

2. Squash indifference

3. Squash grumbling

4. Squash selfishness



PLANT FIVE ROWS OF LETTUCE:


1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind

3. Lettuce be patient

4. Lettuce really love one another

5. Lettuce PRAY!


NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:


1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service

3. Turnip to help one another



TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME:


1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends
4. Thyme for GOD!


WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE. THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW."TILL"- THE END OF TIME ON EARTH!

Friday, June 27, 2008

BACK ON TRACK

CAT BURGLER


I'm finding that the more I think I know and understand about the very basics of listening to and obeying God, the LESS I KNOW! I have gone back and forth with school, clinical's, starting a new position at work, etc. I roll with the punches and say yes to all schedule changes, even to the detriment of my wife's and mines social life-HA! No more. I want , asked for and GOT my old 3 -12's back. I'm not sure what days yet, but this new thing we tried about killed me. Literally! I started having slight chest pain again and a lot of stress, and no sleep- about 2-3 hours a night! So after only 3 weeks and I said enough!!! I'm still going from clinical to management-just not this particular route this fast!

The latest is I was cut from 12 hr shifts to 3 -8 hour shifts and being able to work the other 12 in any time I wanted to help me physically. Thinking this would alleviate some of the 12-14 hour shifts the 12's turn into. A dream schedule right? NOT. Ordering the supplies and putting them up for the entire Urgent Scare about killed me. There was no structure at all and I need that, especially at work! I was working harder and longer with the new and improved schedule. It was two full pallets of boxes every week to be brought around and put up, not to mention the linen carts, which initially was my poor man's stress test that sent me for my bypass.

I just can't physically do it, and then work another 8 to 10 hours after that doing patient care. My first love and my passion is suffering- that's not my first love and passion- LOL- Patient care is-=- duh?. So I talked to my boss about it and was very worried about letting him down. I needn't have been been. He was so gracious and so nice and said no problem, we said we would give it a try and if it didn't work we could change back. So I'm going to be going back to my 3 twelves as a Tech and this will take a lot of the burden off of me while I'm doing the online classes. I still have 2 A's so far again this block! Yeah!

I know I've said that I believe nothing happens by chance and everything is by divine design and I still believe that. There is a path between His perfect will and His permissive will, and the permissive path due due to our choices as free will agents is very wide and general. I've been trying to paint Him into my box- something I try so very hard not to do! But that is usually your Achilles heel and where Satan strikes first, to try to get you discouraged. Well it won't work. Even with a 5 year old fridge starting to not cool- I'm not going to get down. We've cleaned the back and all the dust, it just seems like there's not enough air blowing in the refrigerator part and it's about 50 degrees in there.

I'll trouble shoot a little more and then call someone. Boy I hate mechanical breakdowns on cars and TV's and appliances. I can fix almost anything else. Now I know what God means when he says "Don't say tomorrow I'm going to do this or that, or next year I will be doing this or that. Just sit back and allow each day to come and wash over you one by one and do absolutely the best you can with the circumstances and people He puts in front of you that day. We are responsible for only the very minute we live in!

I'm going to take some pressure off of myself and get back to blogging a little more, doing my schoolwork and going to work and coming home tired. I think that will make me feel successful in my own eyes, and I know that's all my beautiful wife wants out of me. Just to be happy with what we have.

Well I guess I'll turn in now and see what tomorrow brings. We had some kick butt lightening and 1" of rain here today but we are still 9 inches in deficit!

See you all soon,

PS: All my wife and I want out of life is a little Pontoon boat and a place to tie it up and launch it so we won't have to trailer it. We will sleep on air mattresses and camp on the Islands in Lake Murray and Striper Fish. Put a little Hibachi grill on the front with a nice top and side flaps for rainy nights, the stars and the water lapping against the side of the boat with a slight breeze blowing, and a cool Gin and Tonic for me and a Margarita for her......mmmmm....mmmmmm. We don't want a big mortgage nor a big house payment. We have very basic simple needs. So if anyone wants to send us a Pontoon boat, I'll take it. Or the cash for a new one we can keep up, and a little slip to keep er tied up at so we don't have to trailer it.

J

I'll keep dreaming..it's a wonderful, beautiful dream..something to reach for and set your sights on! And oh, so sweet when you achieve it.!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

OUR FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT



Here is the Man that should be our first black president****
We should have a nationwide push to write him in for our next president *****

ACCORDING TO BILL

'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what??

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics. I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2??
Where were you when he was 12??
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol??
And where is the father?? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward: Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?

Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'


Dr.. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.



WAY TO GO, BILL !!

It's NOT about color..
It's about behavior!!!


PASS THIS ON AMERICA !!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lets get this out to as many Americans as we can we are in trouble if we don't....



Faith does not get you around trouble, it gets you through it"


"A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, and touches your heart."

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear & the blind can
read."...Mark Twain

Encourage one another daily...so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

"A TROJAN A DAY..."

WATERING A HUMMINGBIRD FEEDER.....DON'T ASK!

THINKING YOU ARE WATERING THE YARD WHEN YOU ARE ACTUALLY SPRAYING "ROUND-UP"...DON'T ASK."

THE RESULTS- "ROUND-UP" IS A PHENOMINAL PRODCT. (DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN, BUT A FUNNY THOUGHT).


The Road not Taken

Robert Frost




Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference




MY ALL TIME FAVORITE POEM. IF FACED WITH A DECISION TODAY OF THIS SORT---
TAKE THE ONE LESS TRAVELED BY..AND SEE WHERE IT LEADS!



AND FINALLY TO THE "TROJAN" AS PROMISED.......


Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and
had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed
him into her quaint sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister
noticed a
CUT -glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of
all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of
water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he
could no longer resist.
"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about
this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking
through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the
ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and
that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

Monday, June 23, 2008

DAMN I AM TIRED AND MY BACK HURTS!

double click to enlarge






HA HA!! GOTCHA! OHHHHH I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE. "THIS" IS VICTORIA'S' SECRET!!!!!!!! AHHHH, I CRACK MYSELF UP.

4:15 am. Early, or late depending. We saw 136 patients at Urgent Scare today. 5 Transfers out to main Hospitals, one Pulmonary emboli, 1 MI, and 3 Chest pain admits. And those were just a few of the sick ones. My butt is whipped. Mentally and physically. I made some good decisions, I made some people who were feeling terrible laugh out loud. They felt better, if only for a minute. Healing is awesome.

My upper back is burning so badly I can't believe I'm still at this keyboard typing. I'm just so wound up. This means I'll have wasted most of tomorrow which is my day off. I'll get to sleep around 5:30 or 6:00, just as the sun comes up ,and sleep until 1 or 2 o'clock. I'll wake up with intense pain in my right shoulder from an old football injury, pain in my right knee form standing 4 hours in one spot taking BP's, Temps, and listening to stories of wrecks, spills, falls, total Bullshit, and more. Damn, Pink Floyd and Bob Seegar sound good! I have a mix play list blasting and the music is really helping. What great medicine.

Please understand I'm not complaining about all of this. This is life and life is good. These are just the aches and pains of a life well lived, and one well worth living. I'm making progress in school. I make a difference in people's lives. Mostly for the positive. I have a wife who loves me, and I love her back. I Love her front too! God is good.

Wonder where we will all end up? I hope there is a big Bloggers' meeting in one corner of heaven, so we can all meet in Spirit, with perfect non-hurting Glorified bodies. Unfettered by time and space, free to travel anywhere at the blink of an eye. Sorry- old POT flashback! Ok, I'm back now. Back is still hurting, it quit for a minute while I was writing, but now it is pushing it's way back to front and center again. So, I guess I'll say goodnight, get my bony Butt up, and go take an 800 mgm Motrin, eat some Oreo's and Milk; did I ever mention I had Bypass surgery-LOL and go to bed, or not!

It will feel so good when it stops hurting. Then I'll wake up and stretch, creak, pop, snap, ( sound like a bowl of cereal don't I?), and after about 30 minutes I'll feel FANTASTIC! I really will. For all the little aches and pains, after a life of Football, Sports, jumping off roofs, etc, my body is doing remarkably well at 54. I know it doesn't sound like it, but it really is. I'm working 3, 14-16 hr shifts and putting in 2 hours every night in my online classes, so I think that's OK for an old fart!

I have a lot to be thankful for- and if you are reading this- You are part of it.

So, I'd just like to say - THANKS! Thanks for caring enough to stop by this little corner of the universe when you could be anywhere else you choose! Really, Thanks!

Love to all,

John
ps: 100.00 BUCKS SAYS HAMMER SCROLLED BACK UP TO THE PIC!!!! LOL!
ANOTHER 100.00 SAYS SCARLET IS SKETCHING IT! DANG, I DO CRACK MYSELF UP.
I NEED SOME OREO'S!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

LAUGH, LAUGH & LAUGH SOME MORE!!!!!

TIME TO CHANGE THE WINDOW?




Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
"How old was your husband?" "98," she replied.
"Two years older than me"
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing
About being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is
You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on,
The class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
Told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
She wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed.
"Why Wal-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week"

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises
As your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff
In my shopping cart says,
"For fast relief."

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.

Friday, June 20, 2008

GUN vs. WOMAN

I just found out that this was written by a Blogging friend and Genius over 14 years ago and want to give due credit! He is not seeking it, nor would he necessarily want it. However, in my new classes, we are learning about Plagiarism and it is very important if you can find the author- to cite that author. It's kinda like Knighting him or her.

So HAMMER- I cite You, as duly certified Author of this post I plagiarized!

J

Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman....

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

# 3. A gun doesn't ask , 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'

# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

Thursday, June 19, 2008

HERSHIEISH SQUIRTIEST- LATIN for HERSHEY SQUIRTS


... I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an

appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel

movement may result'. This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but:

Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the

bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but

to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I

was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was

'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking 'Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine ...'

.. and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

Dave Sable- Newshound's Journal- Source Unknown
This is a great bathroom read! I felt flushed after I read it.
No Chit, Lightheaded with rectum of fire. I had to sit in a Gallon, (which is now only 28.8 ounces at $58.00 an ounce) of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream. I then took a dump outside and immediately set the woods on fire. MoviePrep is an excellent accelerant if you plan an doing anything Arsonish!

Squirrels and Rabbits were laughing at me until I asked a Rabbit if doo doo stuck to his fur. He said yes, something fierce..so I picked him up and wiped with him. Stoopid Bunny! Well that about does it for all things fecal.
I know it was a crappy read, but I couldn't think of anything else. My wife asked what I was gonna rite about now that I am taking College Research Writin' type paper courses. I said wipe ass me? Cow shit I know? Ass ole Bob. That's the turd time today you've butted in! Then she shaved her legs and wrecked 'em. Backed into an airplane- dis-assed her completely. Crap- gotta runs again. Later.

J

I have had an average of 3-4 hours of sleep the last 4 days and have been up for the last 36. That is the reason I'm giving for the above post. That is my story and I'm sticking the bunny to it! Tune in next week as my guest will be Seapspray, to walk us through, Catheterization 101, or How to become a Bladdering idiot! Urine trouble now for sure.

No 17,000 foot tube for this proceedure...... Only 6,000 for women, and 10-12,000 for men. Or in my case 18,000- but hey, I don't want to brag.
I am hallucinating and drooling on my keyboard and feel it is time to go to bed. I'm sure you will agree with me!

Until next week...Urine good Hands with Ballstate!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

COMPUTER CRASH

i HAVE HAD THE PLEASURE OF HAVING THE bLUE SCREEN OF DEATH SHOW UP NOY ONCE, BUT TWICE IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS. i HAD TO DO A RECOVERY INSTALL AND REINTRODUCE ALL MY APPLICATIONS, INCLUDING A 733 NEGABIT ms-oFFICE 2007 FILE with no cd!

i HAVE SINCE ORDERED IT AS BACKUP BUT HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET. tHEN IT CRASHED AGAIN AND i HAD TO DO A FORMAT AND INSTALL. aLL THE WHILE i HAD MULTIPLE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS DUE IN WORD FORMATS- RIGHT-THEY DON'T TAKE WORKS. WELL I'VE ALMOST RE DOWNLOADED WORD.
HhAVE BOTH MY bROWSERS REINSTALLED, UPDATED TO WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER 11 AGAIN AND AGAIN, LOST ALL MY MUSIC AS WELL AS DOCUMENTS FROM THE FIRST BLOCK OF CLASSES. NO BIGGIE- THEY'RE ON-LINE.

AND I'M STILL FRIGGIN TYPING IN CAPS LOCK- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

WILL BE BACK TO POSTING SOON, SO PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME.

LOVE TO YOU ALL, AND I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T GET WINDOWS VISTA. THIS WAS A SELF IMPOSED DELETION OF A HARMLESS (MY ASS( REGISTRY FILE, AND SOMETHING IN THE START MENU THAT SHOULD HAVE NEVER CRASHED WINDOWS! LIVE AND LEARN.

LOVE,

JOHN (OF BLUE MAN GROUP!) BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH , BLUE DINGLEBERRIES, BLUE TUDE, AND ALMOST BLUE MY BRAINS OUT! LOL-JUST KIDDING!

j

Saturday, June 14, 2008

TIM RUSSERT

Thank you, Tim. GODBLESS & my Prayers and thoughts are with your Family. Thank you for so many years of selfless service to our Nation. You will be missed!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

NEW INTERNATIONAL SYMBOL FOR GASOLINE



OR SHOULD THAT BE ASSOLINE?








TO ALL MY CYBER FRIENDS!!!!

Please Read all the way to the bottom. If you will take the time to read these I promise you'll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis.

They're written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.Enjoy.......

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

To all of you.... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to th e person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!! YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED! Now send this to every friend you have!! And to your family. This was sent to me by a friend.

Monday, June 9, 2008

I KNOW I SHOULD AVOID POLITICAL POSTS!

Ant and The Grasshopper

Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!


OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself !

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MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008.