Sunday, January 6, 2008

TOP 10 THOUGHTS FOR 2008

TOP 10 THOUGHTS FOR 2008



Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted

Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

Number 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, offer him a sandwich.

Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help
but smile when you push them down the stairs.

Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?

Number 2

In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.


AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008:


We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to
where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe
we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.



And the BONUS thought for today


Life is like a jar of jalapeƱos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow'

Please see Hammers post of 7-31-07 for the correct pronunciation of Jalapenos. Sorry I don't have the friggin' tilda for the n-ya! Or is that Enya? Or is it in ya?- Men- you do NOT want to axe this question!