Thursday, May 31, 2007


" Jesus did not commit himself to them... for He knew what was in man." John 2:24-25

1. Put God First in Trust: Our Lord trusted no man, yet he was never suspicious, never bitter, never in despair about any man because He put God first. We are to follow the same pattern. Jesus trusted ABSOLUTELY in what God's Grace could do for and in any person.

Never trust in anything but the GRACE of God in yourself or any other person. Any other quality in yourself or others- esp. emotions are never perfect- but God's Grace--ahhh that is another story. It is by one of the many definitions "The freely given UNMERITED FAVOUR of GOD!!!!" It's a gift from God and is what and why He saved us. For by Grace are you saved through Faith (and He supplies the Faith to) and that not of too is a GIFT from God!

2. Put God's Needs First: "Lo, I come to do THY (YOUR) will Oh, God." (Heb 10:9.)
A man's obedience is to what he sees to be a need. Something that he can to to fill or meet that need in his circle or of the Church in a broader sense. Our LORD'S Obedience was ONLY to the Will of the Father. Instead of trying to evangelize the world around us we need to "Tarry ye until"..this is the part of waiting for clear instruction from God about His will and specifically the NEED of the person(s) to whom you are told to minister. Wait until you know what God says is the need in that persons life- NOT WHAT YOU- perceive it to be.

When God's needs in US have been met- when we have swept around our own doorstep- when we have cleaned our own house of Demons- then and only then will He start teaching and allowing us to minister to others. HIS WILL BE DONE- not anyone or any Church's.

3. Put God's Trust First: "And whoever receives one such little child in my name, receives me." (Matt 18:5.)
God gives me Himself completely when I am but a baby- Newly Saved or Born again. My Life is to be a Bethlehem of sorts. Am I allowing myself to Grow up in and into God through Christ Himself or am I always putting my life and needs first.

TITTS: Taking it to the streets (remember?)

Am I allowing my self, my inner man, woman, to be slowly changed by the INDWELLING (sharing the space) of the SON OF GOD? Have I made room for Him in my Heart and more Importantly am I allowing my MIND to be transformed into the Mind of Christ? Talk about thinking outside the box. That's why it is so hard to truly allow God to flow through you or speak to you about what is best (His will remember?) for someone else, because we have preconceived notions and answers about what we THINK is right when we have absolutely NO CLUE as to what the real problem, answer or even the right questions are!!! Let God give you the correct info and then go minister LOVINGLY without prejudice or pride to that person.

Hey- Pride and Prejudice--hmmmm. maybe a good title for a book!

GOD'S ULTIMATE PURPOSE IS THAT HIS SON MIGHT BE MANIFESTED IN MY MORTAL FLESH. Do you think we can ever yield ourselves enough to become LIKE CHRIST here on earth? We have been given that promise and all the tools to do it with. Do we dare become that FAN-atical to allow ourselves to decrease that He might Increase?????







Ludmilla- why you no smile- Ruining photo for Mammadullabinadad

From Left to Right:
Ludmilla, Admilla, Lucilla, Godzilla & Vanilla!!

Admilla didn't realize the Midget she was smuggling across the border shoes were showin.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Can you see Jesus on the barn?


There are always a lot of big buts when you say you will follow the Lord. To follow means--well I think it means to go wherever the person leading Goes!! :-) Not exactly rocket science. And we will blindly follow friends and trends- but to follow God.....

Suppose God tells you to do something that is an enormous test. Something that will STREEEETCHHH Your faith and really get you out of the harbor and into the ocean.

It flies against everything your common sense tells you NOT to do... Are you going to
Hang Back?
Pray and wait and make sure that's what He said? Earlier I talked about habits and how long it takes to form one or get rid of a bad one. If you are in the habit of doing something in the Natural you will do it every time until you make a DETERMINED effort to break it.

THE SAME IS TRUE SPIRITUALLY- Time and Time again you will get up to what Jesus wants and every time you will turn back when you reach that certain point. "Yes BUT, suppose I do obey God in this matter, what about.....?" "Yes I will obey God IF He lets me use my common sense and do it my way, but don't ask me to take a spiritual step in the dark. Don't you dare ask me to step out in FAITH!"

Jesus demands the same type of reckless spirit that Natural man exhibits when he does something he wants to do. But when it comes to all things spiritual we immediately put limitations and restrictions on it. WHY?

Trust in God and when He brings you back to that spot- that invisible barrier of common sense verses obeying God implicitly- try Obeying God. You will get such a rush and thrill of doing something your Heavenly Father needs ONLY YOU to do- it is totally exhilarating. No earthly high can match what obedience to God can bring.

This is the Peace that passes all understanding. This is the rush that adrenalin junkies go for with Bungee jumping, hang-gliding and shopping at Victoria's secret is for women.

God will never ever ask you to go or do anything where He Himself has not already gone and paved the way. Trust Him as your guide and know that you may undertake the event apparently empty handed...but He will supply all the tools , guts, words...whatever--- you need to get the job done.

Go ahead- Take the leap of faith in something maybe you have been putting off for a while because common sense dictates that it's not feasible! Dare to believe God and Just DO what He says to do. We tend to act like Heathens in a crisis and only 1 in 100 dares enough to bank his or her faith entirely on the Character of God.

What are some of the things God has asked you to do in the past that you would not do?

What is something NOW that He is prompting or asking you to do that you could take that step of faith and obey Him? Just hold your nose, close you eyes and JUMP off the High Dive- trusting the water will still be there after you jump. That few seconds of free fall and the rush of Adrenalin when you finally decided to GO FOR IT are everyday norms with God. We just need to follow the right Leader.

How do you know if something is from God or not? Great question and a little tough to answer, but if something keeps popping into your mind, if you are "troubled" about something or someone, if you "can't get it out of your mind over a period of hours, days or weeks- then it probably God trying to get your attention. Make sure it lines up with Biblical truth and would be something that would not cause harm to anyone. Just LISTEN to that still small voice most of us call a "hunch" a "gut feeling", "I just KNOW- I need to do something about..." etc.

PRAY and then LISTEN for instructions and then OBEY- regardless of how sensible or non-sensible it seems in the Natural. God's ways are not our ways- and to learn to trust HIM and walk in His Ways is a lifelong process. Narrow is the gate to God--wide wide wide- so it can hanle all the Big- YES BUTS is the way of the world.

In His Service,


Monday, May 28, 2007


What an Awesome Memorial day! Awesome things about today.

1. I woke up and wasn't hurting too bad--late shift at Urgent Care and then 9 of us went to iHop after work for some Rooty Tutti.

What do you call a one legged waitress at a breakfast restaurant? (I know---bad-- but what is her name?

PEG!! arrr arrrr!

2. Watched Talledega Nights after eating a Taco Salad with my bestest friend and Wife. Salad= excellent! Ricky Bobby= adequate. Can't wait For Harry Potter and Pirates III. Yes- I read all the books and watched all the Movies---oh oh oh and probalbly the best of them all- SHREK III!!!!! Hope it's gud.

3. Took Pictures of ants eating a smashed flat lizard on our dirt road! AWESOME free entertainment and the ultimate in Recycling-- Go God!!!

4. Some other stuff.

5. Typed this and edited some pics of our 6 new Kittens and laughed our arses off at them boiioinging up in the air at each other. Will try to post a pic of a boooinging. They're awesome. If you could breed a kitten to stay just a kitten you could retire.

So I'll leave with some words of wisdom.... keep a positive mental attitude-----


and the difference maker--


Love to you all,


OK OK- I was able to post a pic of the dead lizard and ants- I'll learn how to get them bigger and post vids a little faster too- but his pic is on the top right pane!! LOL--Isn't that a hoot!!


Flower in Yard- Pic by John: FLOWER ala GOD!









A man asked God how long a Million years was to Him. God said "It's like ONE second." The man then asked, "God, what's a Million Dollars Like to You?". God responded, "Like one single penny."

The man gathered himself up and said "Well God, could I have one of your Pennies?"

God said, "CERTAINLY, MY CHILD,------ JUST A SECOND!!!!"





OK- I'm finally going to get back to the heart of what I know I'm supposed to be doing. My daily journal. I LOVE Blogging and reading ALL sorts of blogs and I will continue to faithfully read the few I have bookmarked.

However I need to be true to myself and God and journal like I normally do. I find myself spending way to much time reading and not really studying and then writing about daily stuff. As stated before- this really is for me and my transference of all my Old stuff from notebooks to Blog. Not sure that will happen but at least the new stuff will be honest and fresh and will make a major difference in MY life when I look back and read this 2, 5, 10 years from now.

It's amazing at how I've grown Spiritually since 1983 and I still seem to be in Kindergarten when it comes to All things GOD! If anyone is perhaps encouraged or blessed by stumbling upon this site- well that will just be icing on the Bagel. So I will play around with several formats- clean up my act and post what I need to post.

Love to my special friends- drop by for some Inspiration, Encouragement, Prayer and don't be shy- post and let your needs be known or e-mail if it is confidential. Love you all


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

LISTEN--------- REALLY LISTEN-------Shhhhhhhhh..

I wrote a little about Actively Listening....really making an effort to tell someone that you value them enough to wipe the slate clean for X amount of time and devote 100% of your attention to them. I recently just took and enjoyed a class on Coaching- Life Coaching. All our exercises were geared towards listening to others without PREJUDGEMENT or thinking about what we were going to say before they even finished.

It's not about us. It's not about US FIXING them! Maybe they aren't even bent let alone broken! Maybe they just wanted to talk- or vent. At that time it's about that person and their particular statements, problems or whatever. 99% of the time people can answer their own questions and solve their own problems if they have someone to talk them out to. A little guidance and a few questions designed to draw them a little closer to letting down their guard to get to the truth is really cool.

To see them let the wheels turn and end up finding their OWN solution gives them such a sense of empowerment. I write this to say that even though I have been trying to do this at work- and give every patient my complete and undivided attention- there are many distractions that vie for our attention. Gas Pains- hunger, headaches- not giving a crap anyway -LOL.

But I have found myself guilty of reading posts but not really reading them to see what was said- or what other great comments may have been posted- but wanting to get my response in as soon as possible and SOLVE all the worlds and peoples problems- or get noticed- whatever my motive is, it's not as pure as I'd like it to be.

Anyone else catch themselves doing that? I tend to forget to put more time in just writing for me and end up reading way too many others blogs instead of being selective and staying on target. How many Blogs are enough? How many threads can you keep going? We all like assholes have opinions. But are they valid, knowledgeable posts or just off the cuff answers that may be doing a disservice to the Author. Trivializing the post in some way?

Just wondering. Can we get across in written word how much we listened when we read and how much we care about someones problem or point of view? Now there's noting wrong with humor- funny quips etc. That is very cathartic and I'm not suggesting that everything be taken so seriously..but You know what I mean don't you? Seriously?



Monday, May 21, 2007


PMO- Things that Piss Me Off

I was thinking...(yep- it happens) that I wrote and said "Think outside the box" for so long I'm sick of it. What does it mean anyway. I use these expressions thinking I may be semi-smart and realize all I'm doing is Parroting something I read someone else write.

Do we need to think outside the Box. This could very well be Seinfeldesque-- Where is this box? Who are these people? What are they thinking about "Inside" the box?

Think outside the box implies that there is a box to begin with. What if there isn't? That's right I wrote it- Did the Universe just stop spinning.. will the sun come up tomorrow--of Course. But we accept ideas and other things a lot of time without a lot of effort or independent THOUGHT on our part.

I am to ready to agree with a lot of people just to avoid a confrontation. Translation- I'm APATHETIC and LAZY!! Now I'm starting to Actively Listen..another term that pisses me off- but we really need to do- actively listen to people. Did you hear me? Are you reading between the lines. YOU CAN'T--because it's my frigging box and I don't allow lines in it.

So think outside of my box by thinking outside of your box and you can read between the lines- add, delete, change lines etc. Hear what you want.

But I'm not sure that what you thought you heard is exactly what I meant to say.

Friendship- Later- I'm tired from thinking outside the box. But friends respect whatever you think even if they don't agree. Agree to disagree- yep--another PMO-Piss me Off statement. I can see why Elfvish--Elvis--what they spoke in Lord of the Rings and the New language you had to learn to read Dune--Now that pissed me off- but did I read it--YES!!! AFTER I took it out of the Box!!!

Think outside the Box if you can---What did I say? Were you listening? Can you read between the lines? Will you be my friend? I promise I will take the pills and stay more or less within the confines of "My Box" Damn it's scary in here.

Be Blessed. - that is all.


Thursday, May 17, 2007


Here is the link to the Political Quiz site and Quiz. This is a very informative site and the quiz is literally about 10 questions to tell of your Political Affiliation. I was not surprised that I'ma Centrist. Which I had never heard of, but of course it's a middle of the road non-offensive No balls- No guts- No glory type o position!

Monday, May 14, 2007

A direct correlation has been found a fear of buying underware. This phenomenon is only dectectable by million dollar Thermal Imaging equipment installed by Homeland Security in airports. No joking here.

This is actual footage of a potential "Dirty Bomb" is the only way I can describe this-it that may have actually made it's way onto an Aircraft. Terrorist will stop at nothing. Seriosly- watch closely- No this is not juvenile where you are told to turn up the volume and somethong will scare the crap outta you. There is no sound with this butt you know what they say- SBD!!!

Watch Carefully and be thankful our Government spares no expense.


Sleep Better Tonight and be sure to drop by Poops site


How I feel after our talk! Happy as a monkey in a buttload of Bananas!

To all of my new friends who prayed and posted notes of support. THEY WORKED!!! Tonight I told my wife she was crazy and out of touch with reality- LOL. Sad but true. We communicated on a level today that has not been present in 24 years of marriage. We have and had been living a lie.

I Love her enough now to tell her how bad it had gotten and we would not make it together if things did not change. I firmly believe that because of Payer she received this message given in love and also confirmed by one of her best friends who wrote her a letter independantly- and told her the same things I had said. (I ALSO MUST CHANGE AS WELL). OK- I'm done-.

It is so very hard to confront someone with the truth when the truth basically says that you are a little unbalanced and living in a fantasy world. This is where our lives had ended up. I knew where she was because I has been through the same hole in the looking glass. On our life journey of self discovery we face some very tough choices and realizations. We can grow through them and use them or we can turn a blind eye and a deaf ear and stay stagnant.

We, now , as a couple have decided to face our insecurities, our lies, pretenses and struggle together - TOGETHER -I said! to make our relationship work. Or at least try to salvage it. This was by no means easy nor is it far from done. This is only the first baby step- but what an awesome step it was. There had to be tough honest ground rules and we are still laying those! Who knows- maybe I'll even get laid to! My bad- I digress- LOL.

Thank you all so much for the love and support shown a virtual (Pun intended) stranger. We all take chances in our lives by Dropping our guard and taking off our masks. I am going to try to do that in an honest attempt to communicate and grow. Again- our marriage and more importantly we as individuals in a marriage have decided to devote an inordinate ammount of time to ourselves in a brutally honest fashion- (using some resources and books on Co-dependency, addiction etc. and a butt load of prayer and faith) to be the best US we can be- and then come together and pool our intrinsic characteristics and become the best couple we can be! AWWWWWW they sighed collectively- Hammer just Barfed-- LOL

I Love you guys!!!

Anyway- this is a tough and rocky road we are on but you know what- if we're honest and open- what more could you want if your best friend- (even if she is a Psycho Bitch--just kidding!!! No letters please!) to travel it with you as far as possible? More daily devotions to come- I just finished a 12 hour shift Saturday and 13 hours today with an Overdose/Respiratory arrest we pulled out of a car- Doctors had him awake, breathing and talking before he left us!!! Ain't NARCAN great! So I went to the Awful Waffle with two buddies and we consumed massive ammounts of crisco disguised as Eggs, Hasbrowns, Sausage and a Waffle- Yes I took my Lipitor to countract it and now after the talk of my life with my wife I'm going to bed a very tired but very satisfied and spiritually content- (For the moment) man!!

Love to you all,

In Christ


Thursday, May 10, 2007


OK- Here it is Folks- Back to what this blog is really all about- daily devotions.. for Christians of all Denominations and all who want to start moving forward in life, believing in "A" Higher POWER or some Greater Good. As for me- It's Jehovah God , Jesus Christ- the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit of God, sent to continue to teach us based on the WORD of GOD- JESUS made flesh then put into written form through the Holy Spirit. However- ALL can benefit from what I hope are Eternal, Essentail & Basic Truths that are Universal in scope and practice.

Let's take away the practical truths and let the Theologians argue "RELIGION" This is NOT- Religious. This is part of MY belief system. Period! Please take from it what you will. There will never again be this disclaimer and all the stuff above. You can read more detail about this in a previous blog if you so desire. Bear with this one and daily or almost daily blogs will be briefer and more concise (unless we need to stop and chew on it a little) ALL FEEDBACK welcome and these will hopefully be a quick read you can do before work, or with a cup of coffee--just something to ENCOURAGE you in LOVE. That is the Intent. To help you go- FULL-ON FORWARD...whever you are going! I pray I won't have to enable verification- we'll see.

#1 - MAY 10, 2007

"Add to your faith, virtue"... (Furnish your faith with resolution.")- Moffatt. 2 Peter 1:5

(see the link to in the links section to easily go and look up other verses, search scripture(s) etc.- AWESOME site).

To "ADD" means that there is something that "WE" have to do.
Remember we are in danger of forgetting that "God, will not do what WE can do", and "We cannot do what God does".

We cannot save ourselves, or sanctify ourselves (keep on setting ourselves apart for God) -that's Gods' job- only He can do that. "For by Grace we are SAVED by, through, in, with FAITH and even that is not of OURSELVES- But that too is a gift FROM God" (iticas mine) -paraphrased.- The SALVATION, GRACE and FAITH are all supplied by God- all WE have to do is accept and believe. Too easy huh?

But, God will not give us good habits- WE have to work on that! He will not give us character, He will not MAKE us walk the right path- WE have to "ADD" or do all those- Faith without works is dead and Work out your salvation with fear and trembling are Godly reminders that WE, have to DO. Faith is an Action word...a verb. A continuing, ongoing process.

To ADD can be very difficult in the beginning- a habit takes about, what 28 days of constant repetition to become a part of us and then for a while we have to maintain it until it becomes so ingrained it is an unconscious part of us! Just like exercise the Faith muscles may be sore initially!

Be careful that you don't keep "asking" the way when you know full well were it is and what direction you should head. When God speaks, be Immediately Obedient and just GO! Now is not the time to say... Lord...(pr. LAWD)... will you confirm in me that I should help 94 year old Ms. Johnson take in her groceries--that may not be my Spiritual Gift!!!. LOL- Don't laugh- our Church body is famous for that- moi Included. Just do it! To steal from Nike.

This goes against all we've been taught but I'm going to say it anyway-- To go FULL-ON FORWARD- BURN YOUR BRIDGES BEHIND YOU! Make it Impossible to go back! (Now, I'm not talking relationships etc. use your head)- Take the initiative, take the steps necessary to move forward and don't say- "I'll pay off that debt", I'll write that letter of apology", I'll call my Old High school buddy that's been popping into my mind for two weeks now"..... These are things WE must DO. Do our part and God will do His- He will keep us Saved and Sanctified for all Eternity as we learn to walk closer with Him daily.

MAKE THE "THING" whatever the command, or whatever we need to do, the right thing etc.- INEVITABLE!!

Procrastinators- you may start tomorrow.

TITTS- Taking It To The Streets-when you see TITTS- this is what it will mean-(hey, I can't help the acronym: it is what it is... and yes I'll get some heat for posting this and the dog pic.. but lets keep it real. As I grow I go. I'll hope and pray to stop straddling the fence one day.

OK-- TITTS: The take Home Message, The bottom line, This will be the practical what we can do with it thingy- it's been said that some Christians are so Heavenly bound that they are no earthly good! Like that? I didn't come up with it. But I did come up with this:


In His Service,


Wednesday, May 9, 2007


In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop. (1 Kilo is about 1.5 million in Cocaine!)
or $4.00 of Hammers Homegrown. LOL Well He called me gay!

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.


Water = Poop Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There's no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007


Life Lessons
Simply America

Written to a 2 year old in Arkansas.

Wisdom is a deep well you'll spend your whole life digging. All of us are God's children. Some of God's special children think God and Wisdom are silly topics. Be kind to these folks.
The rain falls on the evil and the just. Everything works out for the best for those who love the Lord. Those pills are often hard to swallow. Be patient.

Look at the sky and the tress at least Twice daily.

Smell EVERY flower in your yard when it blooms. Move Turtles out of the road. You can't have too many friends.

Anything worth building can be built in a sandbox with scraps of wood.

Be grateful for spankings and lectures. You'll find you have friends who need one. They won't be so lucky as you and will be given Ritalin and TV instead.

One Book- is worth 1000 Television shows.

The King James Bible contains God's poetry. Read Proverbs and 1st Corinthians 13 OVER and OVER and OVER again. Reading books of wisdom from other cultures will help you see the bible more clearly.

The smartest people only use 4% of the mind. Stand on the 4 (four) yard line of a football field and look at the distant goalpost 96 yards away and realize your POTENTIAL!

Learning what it's like to be hungry will eliminate the troublesome trait of being hard to please!

Tip good waiters and waitresses well. Say please and Thank You. Open doors for others. Say yes, ma'am and yes sir.

Always have a flashlight with good batteries- especially make sure you put one in the car for your wife/daughter.

The long term damage caused by not hearing birds frogs and crickets is FAR FAR worse than not having air conditioning. If you find yourself living in a place without frogs, birds and crickets, make arrangements to move.

Doing one's best increases one's ability to do one's best! The point of school is NOT the diploma. Let them teach you to be curious and to want to learn.

Sometimes you will get kicked in the teeth while helping others, but self respect is more important than teeth.

Remember, people are human.

Every second counts. Decide to be happy. Trust God.

Everything has a price. Some prices are not worth paying. Some things are made to sell not use.

Trade with locally owned stores.

Sing daily. Play a musical instrument.

You'll learn more in a garden than almost anywhere else. Onions and Garlic are good for you. So is peanut butter. And eat your turnips- they'll make your hair curly.

Lack of forgiveness causes much of the world's trouble. Help change that! Forgive often and quick.

Beauty comes from inside of you, not from a jar. Wrinkles will come. Wrinkles formed from smiling are signs of beauty.

A prayer's most important part is when we shut up and listen. Don't blame God for the failings of the Church folks and religion. Live life with the end in mind.

Write letters.

Memorize the light in your parents' eyes. One day they will close.

Did I say Trust God?

Monday, May 7, 2007


Tech Support:/**/ Yes, .. how can I help you? /*
*/Customer:/**/ Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process? /*
*/Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?/*
*/Customer:/**/ Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do/* */I do first?/*
*/Tech Support:/**/ The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located/* */your Heart?/*
*/Customer:/**/ Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it/* */okay to/**/ install Love while they are running?/*
*/Tech Support:/**/ What programs are running ?/*
*/Customer:/**/ Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge andResentment running right now./*
*/Tech Support:/**/ No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your/* */current operating system. It may remain in your
permanent memory but it/**/ will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low/* */Self-Esteem with a/**/ module
of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment Those programs prevent/*
*/Love from being/**/ properly installed Can you turn those off ?/*
*/Customer:/**/ I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?/*
*/Tech Support:/**/ With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invokeForgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge
andResentment have been completely erased./*
*/Customer:/**/ Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is thatnormal?/*
*/Tech Support:/**/ Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades./*
*/Customer:/**/ Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error -/*
*/Program not/**/ run on external components ." What should I do?/*
*/Tech Support:/**/ Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to/* */run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your
Heart. In/**/ non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others./*
*/Customer:/**/ So, what should I do?/*
*/Tech Support:/**/ Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the followingfiles: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge
your Limitations./*
*/Customer:/**/ Okay, done./*
*/Tech Support:/**/ Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system/* */will/**/ overwrite any conflicting files and begin
patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to
make sure it is completely gone and never comes back./*
*/Customer:/**/ Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile/* */is playing on/**/ my monitor and Peace and Contentment are
copying themselves/* */all over My Heart./**/ Is this normal?/*
*/Tech Support:/**/ Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed
and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it/*
*/and its various modules to/**/ everyone you meet. They will in turn share it/* */with others and return some cool/**/ modules back to
*/Customer:/**/ Thank you, God. /*
*/Please send this to everyone you know. /**/If you delete that is okay, God's love is not based on emails./*

Thursday, May 3, 2007


Ok- I guess I need to get back on target and start my daily Spiritual journal as well. I recently had a major "Epiphany" as Hammer so aptly described it. I have been walking with the Lord since shortly after I was married in 1982. I was raised in a home where we went to Sunday School-(Methodist) and my Dad's Dad was Baptist. I don't remember going all that much but MYF (Methodist Youth Fellowship on Wed or Sunday evenings was a bust. I always played sports and even came to SC and played College football for the Gamecocks.)

I was All-State in Fla as a Quaterback in 1972. Came to SC and they changed from a passing offense to a running offense- (The Veer). I sucked. Really bad! Played 1 1/2 years. I say this to say that most of my life growing up dad was taking me Hunting/Fishing/ or I was Practicing Sports and don't ever remember him setting foot inside a church. We had a lot of disagreements early on and often. I actually left Fla for SC instead of Playing for my real team the Gators, to get out of the State and away from home.

Oh please don't even begin to feel slightly sorry for me- at that time the drinking age in Fla was 21 and in SC for beer it was 18!!! Enough said!! LOL> I was an EXCELLENT HEATHEN and sold Pot to keep up with my habit during my Paramedic days. I also became a Christian near the end of my Paramedic run and left the mean streets for a gig in a Doctors office where I ended up staying as office manager for most of my 29 years in medicine!

OK- that's all for the background- I'm now working in an Urgent Care as an ED Tech II (Paramedic) and I'm on the waiting list to start my Clinicals to finish my RN after 25 years- DEEP BOW- I am proud of that! So I'm waiting and fighting and applying to 4 schools in the area to see which one will open up first.

Next I will start writing and taking a cue from Ambulance Driver who wisely in his blog said to "Just tell the story". That I will do as honestly as I can. I can teach and teach very well verbally- God has gifted me to do it and it is not false humility that I say that! Truly I will be as blunt and honest as possible. Good, bad or indifferent I have played the game of being the Chameleon and changing colors and kissing ass to be liked an accepted for what my father did to me and the aliens when they implanted and I was locked in a closet and a dog bit me and a trailer fell on my head psychobabble bull crap for people to blame the fact that we are inherently TOTALLY SCREWED UP mentally!! (Example of major rant and possibly a small seizure- i didn't pee myself though.)

STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING on everyone else- step up to the plate and get OVER IT!!!
OK- Let's move on. I will ramble-chase rabbits and run in great big circles. Other times I will be so lucid and make a point so clear it will scare us both! All of this is just what I would normally be writing in a journal but after 17 years I want to switch over to this format. If we move I'll have less to pack and if this place burns down or a Tornado spots it-( We are renting a mobile home for 300.00 a month!!!!! Praise God! 300.00 dollars with air and heat and a ceiling.) But as you know- Mobile Homes piss off Tornadoes only second to Velvet Elvis paintings and will skip from Kansas to Arkansa in 18 seconnds just to destroy one mobile home!

Example of Rabbit chase above. I have made almost every mistake that can be made as a young adult and many more daily. And I do try to grow and learn from them- so God wont have to keep Holding me back in Remedial Christendom 005- I hope to graduate to the 100 classes. Basic Faith and stuff.

Minor miracles like wading in water and turning a jelly jar into a drinking glass! Hey- you have to start where you are!

Ok- enough for tonight. I will continue with the Epiphany of the major funk and depression that God just lifted me out of. He sends me to the desert to gain experience and lessons for teaching. I hate it when that happens. LOL

So if you are totally bored and would like to journey along- I'll try to put a daily devotional up for a quick read in the am and tie it to a Take it To the Streets Lesson- TITTS??? Take It To The Streets?? Cool! Something practical that we can actually use when we interact with the general pubic. Public--Freudian slip- I think not- He wore Lederhosen. And don't count off on spelling and crap like that. If you get the main point great. Also I'm not going to argue Theology, Apologetics, Exegesis, Hemorrhoidology etc. with anyone --probably. These are my viewpoints and mine alone. Also I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I shouldn't use curse words or try to be funny with off color remarks. I'm working on that. I do fence sit on a lot of things and that bothers me. But right now it's the truth and I think you will appreciate it more if you know at least I'm being as honest with you as I know how right now. Hopefully I won't have to always do that and you can actually watch me grow- You'd think after 17 years of Journaling I would be farther along but that dual nature thing is a hard nut to crack. Not an excuse, I know.

I do pray that when it comes to the Word of God that I stay as true to the meaning as I know how and to the point that I have learned or experienced it. If I'm wrong and you can prove it through the Bible and the Bible only; as that is the only common ground we will have, then I will apologize, repent, correct myself thank you and move on! ( example of Baby rant.)

If you have read this far- you have way too much free time- get a life- lol- just kidding- there are some awesome blogs that I just can't get enough of also. Mine is not even close enough to them to be read every day. The only people that will read this are the ones that God- through the Holy Spirit has allowed them to stumble across it maybe just that day for a particular word of encouragement or lesson that they may be dealing with at the time. It is only for Him that I journal so I can see if I'm treading water, swimming or going Backwards in my personal walk!

Love to you all... I will write as much as God moves me to and time I end of having!

John McElveen
05/02/07 20:20 pm

Wednesday, May 2, 2007


The boys are home safe and sound even though they are minus the family jewels. Boy was one of them pissed. Faith, the little White one took it very personally and dissed us for hours. He even peed on himself to the disgust of Doc- the big Tiger Striped male. Faith is 7 months and 8 lbs and Doc is 1 year old and 12 lbs already!

Our Lab Hope is loving both of them and taking care of her boys. It is so awsome to watch animals interact- they are so much like people to me. Their attitudes, emotions, quirks are all unique and as individual as fingerprints!

Good to have the family home and intact. May watch some of the Planet Earth series, The Notebook which a friend lent us and we haven't watched yet, and my dad said to go pick up Deja Vu with Denzel Washington- he said it was awesome. It's gonna be 92 here today and I just can't take that heat anymore! I have a strange feeling I seen Deja Vu before--I know-- very very Lame- about as lame as my very first post about a parallel Universe and the feeling of Vuja de- That you've Never been there before. Hey- this is free! OK?? LOL



Major life change today after seeing an Opossum. Yep- a nasty, rat looking Opossum. I saw it at night on the way home from work and looked into it's beady little eyes on the side of the road. I have killed 15 to 20 Opossums over the last 2 years at my house. We are a drop off point for cats of all types and they continually have litters in the woods around us. A lot of them end up on our porch eating and the Opossums come up for the food and get into fights with the cats. So I have no problem with helping them die from lead poisoning- from my .22 Rifle. I have hunted and fished being the good ol boy that I am all my life.

Recently something has been happening to me. I saw that Opossum and in it's eyes I saw fear and uncertainty. I have seen many up close and have stood on the porch forcing them off with a broom so I could get them far enough away to shoot them. They are whimps and die easily and I rarely if at all felt remorse because it was for the cats and also our safety. They are clearing so much land we have Opossums and Raccoons- (yes they get to live because I can see them from 3 feet away and they are not rabid.)

But when I saw this Opossum a wave of intense empathy, sympathy and sorrow filled my heart. I HURT deeply for this little animal that is so slow to think it made a fake step to the left and then just stood there beside the road. I don't know that I have felt that strong an emotion in years for even patients that come into Urgent Care, or my own family memebers.

I know you have to be careful with "Feelings" as sometimes they can lead you astray. I also wondered at how I could have such an intense rending of my heart for an animal I so easily and consistently "dusted their junky butts off"! Had I gone mad, soft, misplaced emotions? What? Then I thought-- If I could feel this so intensely for an animal- what did our Lord feel for Lepers, demoniacs, paralytics and the very people he came to save. His Compassion was so great He willingly CAME to die that we might live. How much more did it Tear His heart when one of His sheep was lost? Could I ever care for people in that way.

On my own and in my own Power--NEVER. But infused with the Love and Mind of Christ--YES! I could never do it in any way in my own power- I would run out of Spiritual Battery juice with one person. But having the POWER SOURCE flow through me in the Form of the Holy Spirit- I can do all things In Christ: With Jesus -all things are possible!

How would people react if you could love them unconditionally like that. I don't think most of them would let you. They would be thinking--OK what does He want, what's his angle? Most of us have never been loved that unconditionally unless we are fortunate to have a Dog! People would be wary and keep you at arms length- because to let down their guard and allow you in so close is not an area of our comfort zone we allow people to access. I must write more on this later but it is so Profound to me that I just had to jot this down before I forgot it.

This has nothing to do with John and everything to do with Jesus equipping me for what I have been called to do. Witness for Him and Disciple those who desire to go Full-ON Forward. Glory, Honor and Praise to the Most High God. I feel as if I can handle most anything now as long as I yield my selfish wants to God's instructions and simply Obey Him. Immediate Obedience and damn the consequences! God will not allow you to be embarrassed if we confess Jesus before men- Jesus will confess Us before the Father. I will write more on this later but this is an awesome turning point in my life!

John McElveen