Friday, July 6, 2007

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

The 5th grade teacher gave her students an assignment to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type stuff, spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Little Johnny was left.
"Little Johnny do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife."
"She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of 20 enemy troops. She shot 15 of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed 4 more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last man with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you came from this horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking."



A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He's playing in the water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there ..he was swept away.
The grandma holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries: Lord, my G-D, how could you? Haven't I been a wonderful grandmother? Haven't I been a wonderful mother? Haven't I kept a kosher home? Haven't I given to charity? Haven't I lit candles every Friday night? Haven't I tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?
A voice booms from the sky, "All right already!"
A moment later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there. He is smiling and splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.
The voice booms again. "I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?"
She responds, "He had a hat."



OK OK- so it was a quick easy cop-out post! LOL

I am fixing to start my new schedule which is actually my old schedule. I have worked Weekends for over a year now expecting to get into my Nursing Clinicals. Due to a delay in the number of new students accepted into our (2 year AD program- which according to one nurse ammounts to a pile of nothing!- LOL)
I'll still have 3 days in a row off Sat, Sun & Mon or Fr, Sa & Su- and that's pretty cool! After 29 years I've figured I've done my fair share of 24 on- 48 off- and now weekends! Let some o' the young uns pay their dues!!! Can I get a witness?



John