Tuesday, July 31, 2007

WARNING: LIZARD ALERT!!!!! OK- CHAMELEON- but Lizard sounds Mo Better

Most of you know I recently had a run-in with a giant Spider- He's NOT there anymore. I don't know where he went!!!. No pics I promise....
But here is a Pic of a Komodo Dragon living in my front yard. I am going to post a slideshow of all the recent happenings and disapperances around here.......meanwhile






YOU NEVER KNOW: BUT WHEN YOUR OWN CATS START HUFFING...something is terribly wrong...... I finally noticed the spray can.....






AND THEN THERE'S THESE!!!!




AND FINALLY---- THIS- WE THINK HIS NAME WAS DANNY........

FULL CIRCLE- Mr. VICK ?

BE CAREFUL JUST PICKING SCRIPTURES

This is one of the problems with just opening a Bible and pointing to a scripture and "just reading". The devotional for July 26th- Thursday, the day I went to the Hospital with Chest Pain-

OUT OF THE HEART PROCEED..... Matthew 15- 18-20

18-But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19-For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20-These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "



And in the Margin: "Either Jesus Christ is the supreme Authority on the Human Heart, or He is not worth paying attention too." OK--OK-- coincidence--maybe but in the other devotional book was this one!! Billy Graham's-

JUL 26: ".... willing to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord."

HOLD ON__ STOP THE PRESSES:
OK- I believe--I believe-- I BELIVE I WANT TO STAY MY BUTT HERE A LITTLE WHILE LONGER IF IT'S OK WITH YOU!!!!!

I truly believe I'm going to Heaven. Yes- I'm one of those....but I don't have to believe it has to be right NOW! I don't have to lie and pretend it's just a door a passage from one realm into another. I DO believe that- but when it comes right down to it- even with Faith that there is Nothing to fear in death- but, given a choice--

MY VOTE IS ------ HERE!!!!!!

OK- so those were creepily timed..or were they?? But- hey--I think Steve Austin is Steve Irwin- so what do I know- And AD- I actually MET and talked to the 6 million dollar man at a Dave Thomas' celebrity Golf Tournament in Cola. Glenn Campbell played the g'tar and ahemmmm.. I think his "real" name is Lee Majors but I'm sure I screwed that up too- was sooooo drunk and mad that his 19 or 20 year old Ho' was acting up on him back home. And to realize that even though he could change a tire barehanded in 16.2 seconds making the sound of an air impact wrench- here he was- just like the rest of us after inflation and cost of Living. $9.99 Man!!!!

Going for Cath at 7:00 am THURSDAY and will Blog as soon as I can sit up and type.

Feel absolutely OK about this- and I didn't have any feelings toward it one way or the other until today. OK- well I was leaning more toward the scared- O' Shit side- but now I'm more toward the OK- Let's Get R' Done- to quote- Wally the Cable Guy- or is it Harry?

Nope- Not Nervous- Not nervous at all! ;-)

John

Monday, July 30, 2007

CARDIAC UPDATE- STILL BEATING AFTR SPIDER ENCOUNTER

OK- I am still feeling a little tired and winded but my overall status is OK. I'm going to our Big Butt Heart Hospital for a Diagnostic Heart Cath on Wed Aug 1st at 7:00. I will make it to my birthday and beyond on the 10th!!! I have a lot of new Political Aspirations since my recent Hospital debacle.

So, While I'm not scared- I am a little concerned- only normal for any invasive test where they run a friggin coat hanger up your groin to your HEART- but hey, other than that- No Problemo!

With my bypass it all happened so fast I never had a chance to get scared at all. Chest pain Monday- Cath and Open Heart Surgery Tuesday- Home Saturday- Sweet!
This time should be in and out and home the same day I go in- or at the most an ovenight stay if they have to do a stent or any type of intervention. There will be No Open Heart Surgery- do you hear me- NONE!

I usually have a very good idea, gut feeling, knowing, Discernment about what might or might not happen--but not so in this case. I'm not upset- it's just another part of Spiritual growth. If you knew everything you would never have to truly Trust in God and excercise and build your Faith. Some may say- "Why me' Lord?" I say, "Why not me?" I don't want it to happen and would just as soon be home talking with you guys Wednesday, which I may be by Wed Night- but I've pretty much started to learn to Let life flow by- Handle what you can- change what you can that you don't like- Don't worry- (waste of time)- what will be will be, and Trust and Believe that the God I serve will use this for the greater good. Blind Faith- Yes! Rational- NO! Works for me- Absolutely!

Don't freak if I don't post Wed or Thursday. Again- all Prayers are welcome- and any good thoughts, wishes, karma, juju--no cancel the juju! Welcomed!

Squeaky- if anything happens where I am out for more than a few days- Please feed the Spider!!!!! LMAO- LOved you response! Poopsy- keep your shoes on!

PS: Somebody buy and send poor Hammer a eMachine until he gets his built!!! G'luck buddy!

Chat with ya soon guys and gals- and Much Love from Sunny Hot South Carolina.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

THIS IS LIVING ON MY PORCH & WE ARE MISSING 3 CATS- SEE PIC ON RIGHT




I CRAP YOU NOT! Was it a Wooday Allen movie where the line was- "There's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick?" Well this thing is huge. I went outside with a can of Raid or Easy Off- anyway he took it like a Bong hit- (I only read about them- Bong Hits) and blew it back in my face! Now I'm coughing and teary eyed and trying to see if I should go to the ER in another county to get the can out of.... well that's another story.

So then I get pissed and go back outside with the .22, 15 Shot Remington Auto with a 4x scope! Opossums and critters do not make it around Juans place! Anyhoo- now I'm hoping it doesn't go off in my Butt and ignite the Raid Easy Off spray can and trying to figure out if I should get the 30.06- 12 ga., OR just say to heck with it and lay down and watch Shark week like I had planned!

With my luck Arachnophobia with Jeff Daniels and John Goodman will be the only thing on 642 DirectTv channels!

Suggestions welcome!

John







HEALTHCARE REFORM- NEW RANTS AND STORIES

Boy do I have a lot to write about since my recent Hospital stay. A lot of this is new to me. I'm taking a stand for the first time within my own profession. Change is needed. I hope to be able to put all this down in a readable, concise format- with a timeline of what happened- but if you know me at all I will rant, chase rabbits and branch off into several directions at once- but I promise to try and tie everything together in Synopses- is that a word- or help me here- you know when you take a bunch o crap and boil it down to a point, points or something understandable. Review? No.



This has to do with my Spiritual Journey--You will not believe some of the Scriptures that were in my Devotionals while I was in the Hospital- Coincidence? I don't know, but we'll look at it. Also Babs has a theme going and I will check out some other fine minds in the medical community to see what their take is on the current situation.



I'm going to add a response here to I eat Snowman Poop- who commented - and this was my response and we'll see if it begins to cloud or clear up where I am heading. And since I don't know- maybe this will help get me on the right path and start to Consolidate this particular thread. Of course I'll mix in the always needed humorous stupid and corny stuff you are used to. Life ain't all seriousness is it?



John




Poopsy,
I will- I do plan to carry this as far as needed. It's just that type of thing that I'm referring to- that extra stay and charge you received. I know it's not ALWAYS the case--but I have to wonder how many times it just may be. But you know--for good folks like You, Wes , Me and my wife who work- don't sponge off the system- that 6k or 10k or whatever would be mighty helpful in the pocket instead of paying 25 bucks a month to 9 different providers.
I'm thankful they are there-but I pay 278.00 employee discount for Insurance every two weeks. We have no children so we don't qualify for family coverage. That may not sound like a lot per month but the same coverage last year- SAME PRICE in our group went from 250.00 deductible- Max 1500.00 out of pocket max total- for medical and Rx's- then covered at 90%.
Now it is 1000.00 Deductible per person--yep 2K and 2500.00 out of pocket max instead of 1500.00 and pays at 80%. Did the whole friggin group have major surgeries, death and dismemberment to make one groups (our Hospital) premiums go up so much???
Oh well....much more on this as we go along.
John
And don't get me wrong folks- I'm sooo thankful for what I am provided in the USA- but it's coming unhinged fast! And even as much as I used to despise Michael Moore- I think I may have to rethink some of my more conservative positions. Actually- I'm a Centrist when it comes to politics.. but I will be taking a look at my views again!!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

PLEASE READ THIS TRILOGY:

If you haven't already done so this is a must read: Get the Hanky's: PERSPECTIVE from three consumate professionals and phenomenal Bloggers': Matt, AD, and BabsRn. Read in order below:


READ 1st: Better & Better PERSPECTIVES

READ 2nd: Ambulance Driver PERSPECTIVES

READ 3rd: Just Peachy PERSPECTIVES

AND FINALLY: Just Peachy FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

Thanks,

John

HE'S ALIVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







Hi all, I"M ALIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Thank you so much for your concern, comments, thoughts, JOKES--LMAO, MG- and Prayers!


Scarlet, Hammer, Poopsy, Squeaky, Monkeygirl, Annie and elle-Thank You my Friends!!




I went to work Thursday and still had the chest pain so I had an EKG done. It looked great but with the pain et al......(Note to self Don't ever ever again complain of Chest Pain at an Urgent Care)- LOL-- I was again shipped via Ambulance for a HELLISH stay of 2 1/2 days in my own Hospital! I'll journal it later- it's just too friggin weird and fresh to go over it right now. Nothing bad physically on my part Thank the Lord or I would have died from lack of care. I was virtually invisible and was in the Hospital for 24 hours before I was seen by a physician!




All seems to be OK - but I am going for an Outpatient Diagnostic Heart Cath at Another Hospital- it's our States Leading Heart Center- this coming Tues or Wednesday - scheduled as an OUTPATIENT- and we will keep it that way--YES???--- But- and a BIG BUTT it is- if they have to do any intervention- like a stent, they can handle it while I'm on the table. I feel as if it will be OK, but I'm not going on feelings, nothing more than feelings..falling... sorry! Hmmmm- must be a song in my heart for MG--there's your corniness Ms. Spaghetti person- (Loved the joke!!!!!)




As you can tell I am feeling better. I was started on a fairly new drug called Ranexa- which is a new form of a Vasodialator for Angina- (Chest Pain after heart problems for any non-medicals- but ya'll all know the drill-) and I have been able to breath and have been pain free for the first time since my bypass in 2005. I'm not saying all is over and done with but I'm VERY Optimistic that is really going to help my energy and stamina.




I can't believe I wasn't started on this earlier- but everything in it's time and place! Bottom line is I'm home with NO restrictions- I can return to work Post Cath (If all is clear- the following Monday. I'll catch a nap- eat something- peruse all the sites and catch up- but again- Thank you my Loyal Friends! It's good to be home!!




Love you all,




John

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

NOT FEELING WELL

Hi all,

I haven't been feeling well over the last couple of days. Not sure what the problem is but after my Bypass 2 years ago I'm a little concerned about my Cardiac Symptoms- a little bit of Chest Pain, but more of a Shortness of breath or Air Hunger- like I can't get my lungs full, a little nausea, and absolutely NO energy whatsover.

I went to Health Dept. yesterday and picked up the meds I have to take due to my Tuberculosis exposure and positive PPD at work. So I start the pills today for 6 months. I'm not infectious and chest x-ray is perfectly normal- so this is just routine prophylaxis. And I haven't worn a condom well--Ever LOL!

I'm going to get checked at work tomorrow and see if I need to go back to my Cardiologist.
I'm not really scared but I am a little concerned. You know a Little Knowledge can be a bad thing sometimes. I don't want to go because I'm a little fearful this time around about what they may find- yet I have to go because the alternative is Permanent!

LOL

For those of you who pray- in whatever manner- I would appreciate them very much.

I'll keep ya posted,

Poopy in SC,

John

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

FLOWERS




One Friday, two women were sitting and talking.



One woman looked up and saw her husband coming down the street with a bunch of flowers in his hand.

She rolled her eyes and said, “There comes the asshole with flowers in his hand.

Now he'll expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air.”

Her friend promptly replied, “Don't you have a vase?”




One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

"Every time I make love with my girlfriend she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"

"Have you tried sandpaper?", Gepetto asked.

Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.

"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your girlfriend?"

Pinnochio said "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"

Friday, July 20, 2007

BIBLE HUMOR




BIBLE HUMOR FOR THE DAY


>> Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
>> A. Ruthless.
>>
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
>> A. German Shepherds.
>>
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
>> A. Noah He was floating his stock while
>> everyone else was in liquidation.
>>
>> Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
>> A. Pharaoh's daughter.
>> She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
>>
>> Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
>> A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
>> Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
>>
>> Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
>> A. Samson. He brought the house down.
>>
>> Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children
>> as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
>> A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
>>
>> Q. Which servant of God was the most
>> flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
>> A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
>>
>> Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
>> A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.
>>
>> Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
>> A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
>>
>> Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
>> A. Joshua, son of Nun.
>>
>> Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
>> A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
>>
>>
>> KEEP SMILING!!!! GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!
>> Friends are one of God's ways that shows He takes care of us.
>>
>> P.S... Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee? Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "He-brews"
>>
>> Faith, Hope & Love --but the greatest of these is LOVE. 1 Corinthians 13:13

STALLING TACTICS- TO DUMB TO DO MEMES!

I made a promise in the throes of agony yesterday. I called in sick to work- (Once a year- and we still loose em if we don't take em!~)

Wait a minute- why is that- OK- you show up- On time, Sick or not- work- don't gripe, so let me reward you with ---- Nada!

OK-OK- here's an idea- once you get so many "DAYS"- OHHH- They are NOT sick days--just "Days" you can sell them at 90% if you keep a certain balance in the active and 20% in reserve.......

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BRAIN Tumor- Basilar Hemorrhage-- OK--NOW, NOW- I need the friggin days......What- Suzy's already out with Flesh Eating Bacteria...3rd time in a month..... OH..OK. Nevermind. But doesn't that just chap your ass- you give 110% and for those of us that do they always want a teensy bit more!! OK- Rant Over. I've been on the management side so I kinda understand that too- and Our NM as NM's Go is Awesome!!!

Back to the Promise--Oh and a cool segway- "Chap your ass"- sometimes you get to live out a saying!- Not worth it! - mine is- VERY- Chapped. See I called IN Sick- they call it "Calling Out" I still call it "Calling In" -somethings I'm not gonna budge on! So anyway, I get this horrific stomach bug that's lasted 3 days- it hurts to shine a flashlight on my butt and I have to sit in a bowl of Ice Cream after every round.

So in the midst of blowing all the water up out of the bowl onto my backside my wife says' In that voice that only a wife can use- 1/4 Question- 3/4 - COMMAND- "Are you going to feel like going to get Harry Potter tonight?"
Really proud of myself here---as my brain even in the midst of Oil Well pressure washing the bathroom --("END Stink" kicked in(sorry -that's for MG)corny factor)and I immediately translated the question as: - "You ARE going to fullfil your part of this marital bargain and know matter how you feel and even though you have to work 12-14 hours tomorrow stand in line with me at 12:01 tonight---until?"

Immediate answer- "Oh, yes baby I wouldn't miss it-it's tradition." Maybe I'll crap on Malfoy & Hufflepuff and we can go Slytherin out of there! So- here is an obligatory post of Yo Mamma jokes to tide me over till Sunday.

Oh yeah- when we call in - we have to try to get coverage for our own shifts. Or switch with somebody so you don't leave them short the day you are out! Yes--- I switched like good corporate robot and am working Saturday after standing in line at 12:01 Sat morning for Harry. I really don't mind standing in line. Then agin- I like """"Spider Bites"""" (gotta love those patients)----"MRSA" boils in my groin!

After all- it truly is tradition- family is first and foremost- and I Love my wife to put my sore hiney aside to make her happy!!! She's worth it you know! And this I truly mean.

Love to you all,

John


Yo momma so nasty I called her on the phone and she gave me an ear infection.

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale.

Yo momma so fat she walked in front of the tv and I missed 2 episodes.

Yo momma so fat she has a naked picture of Chef Boyardee in her wallet.

Yo momma is like a bus - she big, she don't smell so good, and it's only a dollar to ride.

Yo momma so fat she got baptized at Sea World.

Yo momma so dumb she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was makin' a booty call.

Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Yo momma so fat she got more chins than a Chinese phonebook

Yo momma so fat her ass looks like two pigs fightin over milk duds.

You might be tough, but you'll never be half the man yo momma was!

And last but not least………

Yo momma so fat she got busted in the airport for having 200 pounds of crack under her dress.

PLEASE- ADD AS MANY AS YOU DON'T SEE LISTED AS I COLLECT THESE ---OH AND ALSO ANY GOOD CANNIBAL JOKES....

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

THE ENVELOPE PLEASE.....


OK: This is the Coveted: BLOGGER REFLECTION AWARD and INSTRUCTIONS:
Here are the rules for this one:


1. Copy this post (meaning the rules).

2. Reflect on five bloggers and write a least a paragraph about each one.

3. Make sure you link this post so others can read it and the rules.

4. Go leave your chosen bloggers a comment and let them know they’ve been given the award.

5. Put the award icon on your site.
Description/Definition:


"This award should make you reflect on five bloggers who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and have been a Godly example to you. Five Bloggers who when you reflect on them you get a sense of pride and joy… of knowing them and being blessed by them."


This could go to almost every Blog & Blogger I've read since most of them have been linked to or from the ones I've chosen. That's one great thing about our Community and the people represented here: ALL are SPECIAL!
I was truly blown away when MonkeyGirl passed this award on to me. A lot of you know at one time I wondered if I should even keep Blogging. Every One of the recipients had a hand to play early on with my sticktoitness and continuation of my blog.


I'm including the paragraph about each one collectively because they are that similar and special in what they did for me. (Cop-out- NOT!!) All gave me encouragement and honesty when I needed it. All gave me Godly wisdom and insight when I needed it. All were more than ready to share and went out of their way using both time and energy- two very precious resources to share/give to someone. Each one not only met-but exceeded in the requirements of the definition of this award. None of them would care if they received it and I mean that they are not looking for the recognition-Not that they don't appreciate it!


So here they are:


1. HAMMER: Need I say more? Thank you sir for your consistency and availability. Every Tool Box must contain a HAMMER!!! Thanks! Just the Name brings a Smile and a LOL! I hope it's genetic- because if your sense of humor is contagious- the World will die Laughing!


2. BabsRN: If you know this Georgia Peach at all you know why she is here! She sent me an entire Template (in html) of course, to help me out as soon as I started. Selfless time and energy and it was volunteered, not asked for. That's just the kind of person she is. Her patients are fortunate indeed, but woe be to anyone on the other end of this Southern Belle's softer side!!! ;-).
And an Excellent "Writer" to boot!


3. I EAT SNOWMAN POOP: Heck- the Name just about sums it up. This irreverent and highly relevant friend will keep you laughing and will help in any way possible. She will also come to the defense of a friend as witnessed in a recent post. I could not ask for; nor could anyone be more fortunate than to have this lady as a friend!!


4. ELLE BEE: Instantly drawn to this site and person. A Christian and Sister in Christ that has encouraged me like none other! Thanks "elle" for the unknown times you have inspired me to keep on keeping on! Keep doing what you do best and just "bee"- pun intended! Read her last post about another person in need and you will get a glimpse into the Spirit of this wonderful person.


5. AMBULANCE DRIVER: I could stop right here. Someone who's irreverent sense of humor will illicit Class 3 beverage alerts at any given moment. This same person took time to post a very personal plea for help on "HIS" Blog. I can never thank you enough for that effort and outreach Bro!! From the Heart. As a Paramedic (from ancient days) and a Newbie Blogger, I
can only hope to be close to his expertise in both one day.


To those of you not mentioned and you don't know who you are- (Ha ha ha- evil laugh)- These Five were First and Foremost in my Blogging Life- I have since met numerous others that I would have no trouble naming that meet these requirements. That's the neat thing about our Community- we ALL in certain special ways fill an area of need and collectively we are stronger and better for it!

Thank you MonkeyGirl- and may God continue to Bless our Blogging Community!!!
Love to you all,
John
I'm going to let this post sit for a couple o' days. Gonna work tomorrow- get Harry Potter Friday and curl up with my wife and some movies for 3 days of R & R!!!!

Here are some silly things to make you smile:

Very clever. I wonder who thinks them up? PLEASE READ THE LAST TWO- IF ANYONE HAS ANYMORE CANNIBAL JOKES PLEASE SEND THEM



HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):
I Live in Lexington and I thought Lexophiles were perverts like me!!! LOL

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

AND FINALLY!!!!!

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One stops and says to the other:
''Does this taste funny to you?''

Two Cannibal are eating...
One says to the other--
"I HATE your Mother-in-LAW...
The other....

"Then just eat the potatoes!"

John

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

TEQUILA & SALT

Tequila and Salt

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror
where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world
that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world
love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you
before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.
10 When you think the world has turned its back on you
take another look.
11 Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.

And always remember....
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!
Good friends are like stars........
You don't always see them,
But you know they are always there.
'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though
Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway'
I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here
than a whole truck load when I'm gone.

'stop and smell the flowers' &
See how many 'bouquets' you end up with!
Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only
God keeps You Going

Love to all,

John

Sunday, July 15, 2007

PRINTER IS DEAD!!!

Bummer-

My Printer just died. But since it cost all of 35.00 afetr the rebate and lasted 3 years who can really complain. The ink cartridges cost way more than the printer. I think I may try to find one just like it. I really only use it for text and an ocassional pic or color coupon etc..so I'm certainly not gonna drop major money on one.

I'll go online and see what is the best bang for the buck for what we use it for and ink costs, per page cost etc. I have two full unopened Ink Cartridges too---hmmmmmm. Back to Wally World we go!! LOL.

Working 2 -12's Mon and Tues--which will turn into 14's, but it shure is good to have job security. Maybe slim posting till Wednesday.

Blessings to everyone......going to InkJet funeral now...

sob sob...

John

Saturday, July 14, 2007

PERSPECTIVE

Now, THIS is really fascinating -
it's rather dazzling to see it presented this way:





I certainly thought this was enlightening. Beyond our sun
it's a big universe.





Earth is Invisible on this scale!+

Antares is the 15th brightest star in the sky.
It is more than 1000 light years away..





TRY to wrap your mind around this.........

This is a Hubble Telescope Ultra Deep Field Infrared View of countless "ENTIRE" Galaxies Billions of Light-Years Away.






Below is a close up of one of the darkest regions of the picture above:









Now how big are you?

Keep life in perspective.

and don't sweat the small stuff!

Friday, July 13, 2007

FIGHT - FIGHT- FIGHT

I rear-ended a car today.

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you?"


Then the fight started...

Wait for it...wait for it....starting to sink in......BOOM-



JOKE BOMB- now you are laughing like hell because it fianlly hit you full force!

He He He!! Timing is Everything when you're telling a joke! Virtually everything anyway.


J

MY VISION OF GOD-& THE COST OF THE VISION


"In the year King Uzziah died, I saw also the Lord." Isaiah 6:1 (Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest Devotional for Friday July 13, 2007

"MY VISION OF GOD DEPENDS UPON THE STATE OF MY CHARACTER"

Our intimate relation and our souls relationship with God depends on the passing or getting rid of, or more correctly- putting God in the Place of one of our Hero's-(Friends, idols, mentors, etc.)

God has to remove our friends to put Himself in their place and this is usually where we kick and scream and pitch a fit, faint and get discouraged. "I didn't know God was gonna cause me to lose friends. He will if that friend is taking first place of God in your Heart. If that friend is more loved and more attention is given that friend- then God will resign that friend to second, third or fourth or maybe no place at all!

Don't take it personally- In the year I gave my all to the Lord- this person died. In the year I promised God my undying allegiance- this friend got ill. In the time I gave my Life to Jesus for Him to run it completely- this friend got disheartened and left his wife! What's up?- God do I have to give up everything.???

God said Count the Cost-! If you want to make Him Lord. Leader, King of your life he cannot but have First and only First Place. Your Vision of God depends on your Character, and Character determines revelation. Before I can say "I saw the Lord," there must be something corresponding to God in my Character.

Before I am Born from Above- with a new heart and new spiritual eyes to see and ears to hear- I see along the lines of my prejudices only; I need the Surgical Steel Scalpel in the Master Surgeons' hand getting rid of external events and cutting away "Junk" to give me internal purification!

It must be GOD 1ST, GOD 2ND, and GOD 3RD until the Life is faced steadily with God and no one else is of any account whatsoever. It's Us and God alone. He & I- Inseparable until I know Him and Him alone as my sustain er, supplier, healer- my everything!

"In all the world God, there is none but you- NONE BUT YOU". Keep paying the price (of being pruned for God- and giving up self to serve others. Let GOD see that you are willing to live up to the Vision!!!

Love to all,

John

Where there is no vision- my people perish. Do you have a vision, a dream, a mission statement that includes God in every aspect of your life? Every detail?
Think about drawing on never ending Love and Power and having the Master Craftsman carve out a life for you from the TREE of LIFE!!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COMMENT SECTION?


PROBABLY THE UGLIEST CAT IN THE WORLD AND IT LIVES AT MY HOUSE.

TEST POST TO SEE WHY MY LAST POST DIDN'T HAVE A COMMENT SECTION?
Also wondering why I'm yelling at everyone in caps? There- that's better.
Now lets see if the comment section is back.

Yep.

So comment - wonder why strange things like that happen..? I'm sure I did something, but what? And better still- since I didn't do anything that I know of to stop the comments.....what the heck did I not do to get the comments back- what did I undo or what undid itself?

Troubling times.

John

Saturday, July 7, 2007

REMEMBER THEIR SACRIFICE---DAILY!!!!




Please remember our troops who had a horrific weeks end in Iraq. The picture above was taken from an e-mail hoax about Marines Praying and the ACLU. I though the pic was pretty powerful though and just wanted us to maybe keep the Patriotism of the 4th going for the weekend!

Unfortunately- after our troops come home we will soon start to forget their sacrifice. Some sooner than others. After all- How long did it take us to become COMPLACENT after 9-11,????? Oh sure, pictures, stories and reminders get us up in arms for a few minutes- but how many of us relieve that horror day after day and remember that every soldier that is shot at in Iraq was initially a civilian shot at In AMERICA, in the Twin Towers.

I know it was mostly the Taliban in Afghanistan- but terrorism is terrorism!, and we need never again experience it on our soil! England just got another reminder that Al Quaida is alive and well. We don't need another one here.

GOD BLESS AMERICA & AMERICA- BLESS GOD! Think we can get HIM back in Schools, Pledge of Allegiance- (see Red Skelton post) and in our HOMES around the supper table???

Just a thought? What do you think?

John

Friday, July 6, 2007

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

The 5th grade teacher gave her students an assignment to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type stuff, spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Little Johnny was left.
"Little Johnny do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife."
"She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of 20 enemy troops. She shot 15 of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed 4 more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last man with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you came from this horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking."



A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He's playing in the water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there ..he was swept away.
The grandma holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries: Lord, my G-D, how could you? Haven't I been a wonderful grandmother? Haven't I been a wonderful mother? Haven't I kept a kosher home? Haven't I given to charity? Haven't I lit candles every Friday night? Haven't I tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?
A voice booms from the sky, "All right already!"
A moment later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there. He is smiling and splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.
The voice booms again. "I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?"
She responds, "He had a hat."



OK OK- so it was a quick easy cop-out post! LOL

I am fixing to start my new schedule which is actually my old schedule. I have worked Weekends for over a year now expecting to get into my Nursing Clinicals. Due to a delay in the number of new students accepted into our (2 year AD program- which according to one nurse ammounts to a pile of nothing!- LOL)
I'll still have 3 days in a row off Sat, Sun & Mon or Fr, Sa & Su- and that's pretty cool! After 29 years I've figured I've done my fair share of 24 on- 48 off- and now weekends! Let some o' the young uns pay their dues!!! Can I get a witness?



John

Thursday, July 5, 2007

GREAT DAY AT THE BALLPARK









No rain and temp was in the mid 80's dropping to the upper 70's! This is unheard of in SC where our temps will be close to 100 from now on!

This was a picture perfect evening with friends and fireworks and a little of Americas' past-time "thrown" in. Like the way I pitched that in. I got a million of em....so I'll spare you the rest of the puns...I may try to post the brief handheld .avi of the fireworks with my dinky little digital point and shoot just for kicks..No promises and it's kinda crappy but what the heck..I never claimed to be a Professional!

God Bless....


John

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

AMERICA, BLESS GOD !!!!!!!!!!

Pic in Fla. I think I was 23 or 24 when this was taken!

Cool Scripture for today fromBibleGateway.com-(Rt Sidebar)
“Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.” (Psalm 33:12


God bless everyone this day as we celebrate our INDEPENDANCE AND FREEDOM. And let's not forget to say a special prayer, of blessing and protection for our Service Men & Women, who at this very moment may be in a firefight, exploding an IED or taking Mortar Fire!

They are the reason we have the Fantastic Freedoms we enjoy in this country!

Also I would like us to think for a moment as we:

1. Fire up the Grill
2. Eat Hot dogs and Hamburgers by the Score
3. Watch a Baseball game (I am) and Fireworks
4. Go to a favorite picnic spot, river or lake
5. Go to work--some of us- BUMMER (I'm off this year- yeah!)
6. Go to an air conditioned Movie Theater
7. Run, jump and play with our children and our other Family members- our Pets
8. Watch a gorgeous Sunset
9. Dodge an awesome thunderstorm- then revel in the 20 degree coolness that follows!

ALL WITHOUT THE WORRY OF BEING BLOWN UP ON THE WAY TO WHEREVER WE ARE GOING!!
Fill in your own special blessing(s) or what you are thankful for and share it with your family this year. Let everyone take a turn and share this together over the fresh churned Ice Cream! (Please pass this on to others in your e-mail book so we can get a lot of people thinking about our Freedom(s). They don't need to come here to read it-just ask them to do it for you-- so it will be very personal between you and you family and friends!

10.________________________________________________________________________.

11.________________________________________________________________________.

12.________________________________________________________________________.

Let's pause and count the myriad of blessings our America offers, lets Change a phrase we say all the time to a slightly different version:

INSTEAD OF "GOD, BLESS AMERICA"--THIS YEAR LET'S TURN IT AROUND AND SAY"

"AMERICA, BLESS GOD" !!!!!!

BELOW IS A POST I DID EARLY ON, AND I WAS SO STRUCK BY THE BEAUTY AND SCOPE OF THIS THAT I THOUGHT IT MOST FITTING TO POST AGAIN TODAY!! ENJOY, AND READ THE DESCRIPTION OF WHAT THE FLAG IS MADE OF........





Between the fields where the flag is planted, there are 9+ miles of flower fields that go all the way to the ocean. The flowers are grown by seed companies. It's a beautiful place, close to Vandenberg AFB. Check out the dimensions of the flag. The Floral Flag is 740 feet long and 390 feet wide and maintains the proper Flag dimensions, as described in Executive Order #10834. This Flag is 6.65 acres and is the first Floral Flag to be planted with 5 pointed Stars, comprised of White Larkspur. Each Star is 24 feet in diameter; each Stripe is 30 feet wide. This Flag is estimated to contain more than 400,000 Larkspur plants, with 4-5 flower stems each, for a total of more than 2 million flowers.

I'M CONFUSED........



"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy,
the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,
the Swiss hold the America's Cup,
France is accusing the US of arrogance,
Germany doesn't want to go to war,
and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon."

BLESSINGS TO ALL

JOHN

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

HAPPY 4TH O' JULY

Blessings all!

Going to Baseball game and fireworks tomorrow night- May your BBQ be rain free- all your fingers remain on your hands during Fireworks fun and may:

GOD- CONTINUE TO BLESS AND GRACE THIS GREAT COUNTRY WITH HIS PRESENCE AND LOVE!!!

(Even though we are doing our darndest to ban Him from everywhere but Church.) We don't have to ban Him from most Churches. He hasn't been in a lot of them in years!
(OUCH! Sad but truer than we want to admit)


Love to you all!

John

Monday, July 2, 2007

6 WORDS I NEVER WANTED TO SAY!!

I'M OFF TO THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT!

DANG. SCARY BUT TRUE.

After 29 years in medicine I recently had a positive PPD. 14 mm and had never even had so much as a red dot. For non-medicals that's the test they give a lot of peole to test for Tuberculosis. We do a lot of LEGAL Immigration PPD's at our Urgent Scare and a lot of these nice people react as positive since they have been given the Preventative Inoculation in other countries.

But evidently I got sprayed in the face somehow. Our little assessment room is small and you get a family of 5 in there and well....

My chest x-ray was unchanged from a year ago so everything should be fine. It's a precautionary follow-up that anyone with a pos PPD has to do and I think VERY GOOD Policy. I may have to take the INH just for kicks since I did have the Bypass Surgery. They just want to make sure it doesn't lie there and then pop out like an Alien during my sleep.

Just checking with da Nursing Thugs--Yo Ho's- ya'll needz any Penischizzle fo da drizzle while I'm outnaboutn? nowhaimsayin?

Put in an order.

J

GOD'S WISDOM (cont 1b)

God's wisdom is so far above ours that to try to compare the two is ludicrous. There is another type of wisdom that most of us follow and that is Earthly, or Satan's or the "Worlds'" wisdom. This is diametrically opposed to God's Wisdom and lets us know in no uncertain terms that the things of God are SPIRITUAL in Nature and can only be understood after God has given us the gift of wisdom- so we can understand the Spiritual aspect of our lives. Up until then we live in total darkness concerning the Things of God

Earthly wisdom and Spiritual wisdom are always dueling and fighting it out in the battleground of our mind for first place. If we are born again and believe that God is who He says He is- we can then start to understand and discern Spiritual things. Until then we are blind, wandering aimlessly around earth totally in the dark. Jesus was wise from the time he was a litlle boy..and after He came, His wisdom outshone even the wisest of the wise during that time.

Matthew 13:54
54 Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. "Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?" they asked.

Luke 2:40
40 And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him.

As the early church formed and needed leaders for the New Found Faith, the Apostles began to look and select men who had spiritual wisdom. Then any and all who wanted wisdom were told how to go about getting it: to ask for it and He would freely give wisdom to any and all who asked.

Acts 6:3 Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

We truly do not use all the resources we have at our disposal when it comes to making sound buisness, family, personal or any major decision if we don't seek what God would tell us. Whether we are self sufficient or not- God's answer will always be the MOST correct and best answer for us. Remember those tests in which all or part of all of the answers are correct, but you have to pick THE MOST correct one.
That's the flavor or general idea here. Our choice may be right or partly right- but God's answer will be the best and most complete answer we could hope to get!

If we bypass God's input, don't seek His advice, don't go to others for wise council-we are shorting ourselves of valuable resources during our decision making process.
Just try this coming week to ask God to help you make wise decisions, correct decisions...or to just finally MAKE a decision. Jot down a little note and see if there was any response from God or not. Sometime He wants you to use what He has already shown you, or you know to be true to see if you will be obedient and ACT on His words!

Until Next Time,

God Bless and "Listen UP."

Blessings to all,

John