Wednesday, May 2, 2007

MAJOR LIFE CHANGE- SPIRITUAL MARKER

Major life change today after seeing an Opossum. Yep- a nasty, rat looking Opossum. I saw it at night on the way home from work and looked into it's beady little eyes on the side of the road. I have killed 15 to 20 Opossums over the last 2 years at my house. We are a drop off point for cats of all types and they continually have litters in the woods around us. A lot of them end up on our porch eating and the Opossums come up for the food and get into fights with the cats. So I have no problem with helping them die from lead poisoning- from my .22 Rifle. I have hunted and fished being the good ol boy that I am all my life.

Recently something has been happening to me. I saw that Opossum and in it's eyes I saw fear and uncertainty. I have seen many up close and have stood on the porch forcing them off with a broom so I could get them far enough away to shoot them. They are whimps and die easily and I rarely if at all felt remorse because it was for the cats and also our safety. They are clearing so much land we have Opossums and Raccoons- (yes they get to live because I can see them from 3 feet away and they are not rabid.)

But when I saw this Opossum a wave of intense empathy, sympathy and sorrow filled my heart. I HURT deeply for this little animal that is so slow to think it made a fake step to the left and then just stood there beside the road. I don't know that I have felt that strong an emotion in years for even patients that come into Urgent Care, or my own family memebers.

I know you have to be careful with "Feelings" as sometimes they can lead you astray. I also wondered at how I could have such an intense rending of my heart for an animal I so easily and consistently "dusted their junky butts off"! Had I gone mad, soft, misplaced emotions? What? Then I thought-- If I could feel this so intensely for an animal- what did our Lord feel for Lepers, demoniacs, paralytics and the very people he came to save. His Compassion was so great He willingly CAME to die that we might live. How much more did it Tear His heart when one of His sheep was lost? Could I ever care for people in that way.

On my own and in my own Power--NEVER. But infused with the Love and Mind of Christ--YES! I could never do it in any way in my own power- I would run out of Spiritual Battery juice with one person. But having the POWER SOURCE flow through me in the Form of the Holy Spirit- I can do all things In Christ: With Jesus -all things are possible!

How would people react if you could love them unconditionally like that. I don't think most of them would let you. They would be thinking--OK what does He want, what's his angle? Most of us have never been loved that unconditionally unless we are fortunate to have a Dog! People would be wary and keep you at arms length- because to let down their guard and allow you in so close is not an area of our comfort zone we allow people to access. I must write more on this later but it is so Profound to me that I just had to jot this down before I forgot it.

This has nothing to do with John and everything to do with Jesus equipping me for what I have been called to do. Witness for Him and Disciple those who desire to go Full-ON Forward. Glory, Honor and Praise to the Most High God. I feel as if I can handle most anything now as long as I yield my selfish wants to God's instructions and simply Obey Him. Immediate Obedience and damn the consequences! God will not allow you to be embarrassed if we confess Jesus before men- Jesus will confess Us before the Father. I will write more on this later but this is an awesome turning point in my life!

John McElveen