Wednesday, May 23, 2007
LISTEN--------- REALLY LISTEN-------Shhhhhhhhh..
I wrote a little about Actively Listening....really making an effort to tell someone that you value them enough to wipe the slate clean for X amount of time and devote 100% of your attention to them. I recently just took and enjoyed a class on Coaching- Life Coaching. All our exercises were geared towards listening to others without PREJUDGEMENT or thinking about what we were going to say before they even finished.
It's not about us. It's not about US FIXING them! Maybe they aren't even bent let alone broken! Maybe they just wanted to talk- or vent. At that time it's about that person and their particular statements, problems or whatever. 99% of the time people can answer their own questions and solve their own problems if they have someone to talk them out to. A little guidance and a few questions designed to draw them a little closer to letting down their guard to get to the truth is really cool.
To see them let the wheels turn and end up finding their OWN solution gives them such a sense of empowerment. I write this to say that even though I have been trying to do this at work- and give every patient my complete and undivided attention- there are many distractions that vie for our attention. Gas Pains- hunger, headaches- not giving a crap anyway -LOL.
But I have found myself guilty of reading posts but not really reading them to see what was said- or what other great comments may have been posted- but wanting to get my response in as soon as possible and SOLVE all the worlds and peoples problems- or get noticed- whatever my motive is, it's not as pure as I'd like it to be.
Anyone else catch themselves doing that? I tend to forget to put more time in just writing for me and end up reading way too many others blogs instead of being selective and staying on target. How many Blogs are enough? How many threads can you keep going? We all like assholes have opinions. But are they valid, knowledgeable posts or just off the cuff answers that may be doing a disservice to the Author. Trivializing the post in some way?
Just wondering. Can we get across in written word how much we listened when we read and how much we care about someones problem or point of view? Now there's noting wrong with humor- funny quips etc. That is very cathartic and I'm not suggesting that everything be taken so seriously..but You know what I mean don't you? Seriously?