Friday, December 28, 2007

WELL HELLO

I hope this finds everyone in a fantastic mood and great Spirits as we get ready to start 2008!

My Mantra is: ALL WILL BE GREAT: in 2008!


Now please, please- once you have recovered from the breathtaking creative genius that went into that short but profound statement I want, to hit you with another surprise!:" Yes, YOU CAN USE IT IF YOU WANT! OR NOT!!!!!!


I know, I know- but that's the kind of guy I am. Please please subjects- off your knees! The ring kissing is embarrassing! I mean I'm not the Pope or anything like that.
Hang on a sec- ......... Nope- Had to ask the wife- definitely NOT the Pope.

I do have to go in and work New Years Eve from 10-10 but usually it's not too bad a shift. I have been off since 12-20 or 12-21 and after New Years Eve I don't have to go back until the 17th of January. It just worked out that I had plenty of annual leave and two friends who are in Nursing Clinical's really needed the time, so I let them work it and I took it off!

We have been doing absolutely nothing and it has been fantastic. We have been on the lookout for a Wii, but the more I think about it the more I may let it slide. We'll go over to a friends house New Years Eve when I get off work and try theirs out to see if we would really enjoy it. My wife is disabled- I may not have told you that- with two ruptured discs in Cervical and 2 in Lumbar. She is in constant pain but handles it with a grace you would not believe.

She has been a homewrec-- HomeMAKER for the past 18 years and taking care of me she deserves a Nobel Peace prize or maybe I deserve a piece too?? We'll see. Anywhoo- we thought the Wii may be an easy way to help with range of motion on a small scale and work up to treadmill, walking together again etc. She gets along very well physically for the most part- it's just the constant, never ending pain.

We are still very very blessed to have each other and are so fortunate to have all our limbs and minds etc! So "no" complaints form this young feller at all! The Holidayze have been excellent and I'm about to get Footballed out-(if that's possible) , but when you consider Basketball and Nascar is all we'll have until next fall I get a cold shiver down my spine!

We are looking forward to maybe renting a couple of movies and maybe even going to see Tom Hank's new one in the theater. It's hard for both of us to sit for a couple of hours in those seats! How pathetic is that!!!!!

I can't wait to make the rounds and catch up on all the news. My puter (the new one) is humming along perfectly now after a major driver glitch I had to work out with an HP Deskjet All-in One car wash, printer, fax, copier, Beanie Baby machine! I put a piece of paper in it the other day and came back and there was a Grey Florida Heron folded perfectly to scale Origamii style. So I'd say it's pretty well worth the Six grand I paid for it on D-Day. Or is it e-Baby? I get those confused.

Hope everyone had a Blessed Qwanset Hut, Hannuka, Christmas in July, Sparkling 4th of Presidents Day and got all the lead lined, mercury filled parcels you wished for. But I especially hope all of you who had children had an extra special Holliday and Christmas for them. I love kids on Christmas morn!!!! Never had any of our own..so I think we missed some really special moments there.

Well, as you can tell buy the time and the length, I don't have a whole heck of a lot planned for today! LOL. Will make the rounds and say hi to all!

A SET OF JUMPER CABLES WALKED INTO A BAR AND ORDERED A DRINK.....THE BARTENDER HESITATED AND THEN POURED THE DOUBLE SHOT OF BLACK-JACK NEAT AND SAID OK-

BUT DON'T START ANYTHING!

Loves to you all,

John

Sunday, December 23, 2007

DECISIONS-DECISIONS!

THE DECISION

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it.'

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this.

'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day.

'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says the man.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'She has,' says the man.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting a new kitchen.'

Friday, December 21, 2007

TODAY'S SNICKER_ LETTER OF THE LAW


We are still in a severe drought- about 22" down. We recently received 1" of rain. Enough to be able to see the reflection of a tree in the pond!

INTENT vs. LETTER

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.

He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York .

He is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Texas .

He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense!!

Deputy says,' License and registration, please.'

Lawyer says, 'What for?'

Deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

Deputy says, 'You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and
registration, please.'

Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

Deputy says, 'The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!'

Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

Deputy says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'

The deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the shit out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!

Subject: Fwd: Letter from one 'Angry Woman'



Letter from one 'Angry Woman'


I don't know who wrote it but they should have signed it. Some powerful words. This woman should run for president.







Written by a housewife from New Jersey

and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.







'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?







Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?







Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?







And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?..Well, I don't. I don't care at all.







I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.







I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia .







I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.







I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.







I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.







I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.







In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.







When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.







When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.







When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.







And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care !!







If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!







If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:







'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem' -- Ronald Reagan







I have another quote that I would like to add AND......I hope you forward all this.







'If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' Also by.. Ronald Reagan







One last thought for the day:







In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.'







Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The America n G. I.







One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.





YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON,AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM. AMEN!

and for no extra charge:



A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on US 95 south, just outside of Washington. Nothing is moving north or south.

Suddenly a man knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened? What's the
hold up?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped George Bush, Dick Cheney, Alberto
Gonzales, Don Rumsfeld, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity & Ann Coulter.
They are asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse
them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking
up a collection."

The driver asks, "On average how much is everyone giving?"

"About a gallon."

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Prescription Medicine??? HMO's to Finally Prevail??

DIVORCE VS. MURDER


A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
Th e pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Saturday, December 15, 2007

FIGHTING IMMIGRATION: THE EARLY DAYS






Ask the American Indians what happens
when you don't control immigration FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.


Tony Kovach

FAIRY TALE- OR A QUEER (as in -"odd")- LITTLE STORY

Fairy Tale:


One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly,
did not whine, nag, and bitch........







But this was a long time ago.....

and it was just ONE day.

The End

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

GOD AND CREATION-A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES VIEW

A REALLY REALLY WELL DONE ANSWER NO MATTER WHAT YOU BELIEVE!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

NEVER EVER DO THIS

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER

EVER

DO THIS:

FART IN A WET SUIT!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

HORRYWOOD SQUARES- VERY FUNNY- U RAFF A ROT! HA HA.

THIS IS HYSTERICAL!!! I HURT MYSELF LAUGHING

If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring tears to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde - If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A: Charley Weaver- Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A.: George Gobel - Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts - That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie - No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver - My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A: Vincent Price - No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q: What are "Do It"; "I Can Help"; and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A: George Gobel - I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde - Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A: Charley Weaver - Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie - Ralph, the pin boy.

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.One is politics, what is the other?
A: Paul Lynde - Tape measures.

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie - Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q: Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A: Marty Allen - Only after lights out.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde - Make him bark?

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde- Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver - It got me out of the army.

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A.. Paul Lynde - Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A.: George Gobel - Get it in his mouth.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde - Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver - I'll lend him the car; the rest is up to him.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver - His feet.

Q: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A.: Paul Lynde - Point and laugh.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

FORBIDDEN LOVE

A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT


They were together in the House.

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly
each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.
She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.



Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.
He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.
He knew this was a forbidden union and
expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...

They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand. So consumed were
they in their fear that they heard no opening
of doors...just the faint click of a camera.....


Monday, December 3, 2007

QUOTE OF THE DAY

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Saturday, December 1, 2007

HEALTHY GRANDPARENTS


WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CATHOLICS DRIVE FAST.

SOMETIMES JESUS HATES BEING YOUR GRANDMOTHERS CO-PILOT



My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses.


Drinks right out of the bottle.

Friday, November 30, 2007

ANNOUNCEMENT

JEWISH SWIMMER

Hi all,

I have decided to stop writing as much on Shhh..God's Talking and concentrate more on visiting other Blogs and working on this one. Here's to an AWESOME HOLIDAY SEASON for us all!!!!! PLEASE SEE EXPLANATION (IF YOU EVEN CARE lol- SERIOUSLY- IT'S NO BIGGIE)

BLOG ON----John

PIG THOUGHTS

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

SPIDER KINGDOM-

WARNING-SMALL SPIDER- IT WILL NOT HURT YOU - THERE IS DEFINITELY A CLASS I BEVERAGE ALERT IN EFFECT!!!





I FLAT OUT STOLE THIS FROM MONKEYGIRL. I JUST HAD TO!

He He He !!!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

SAYINGS- NOTHING MORE THAN SAYINGS

Things to Remember

We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only
live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the
future to wreak revenge on everyone who ever screwed us in the
past.

Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to
do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really
tried them.

Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the
spanking?"

To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it
wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.

A little bit of love goes a long way in our lives. It can provide
us with higher highs and lower lows. But, if it comes with a
persistent burning sensation, see your physician.

When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider
dating outside the family.

If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then when
Life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll
learn him.

They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and
precious to the recipient. But flipping the finger is free too,
and I find it more sincere and personally satisfying.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

FULL-ON FORWARD: THE FIRST POST WITH THE NEW COMPUTER

CLICK HERE FOR POST!!!!!!!
FULL-ON FORWARD: THE FIRST POST WITH THE NEW COMPUTER


I just posted this on or around the 11th (Click on text above) but there is so much good stuff in here I reread it and was moved by unseen forces to post it again. I had been off-line- my computer blew up- (exaggeration) and I had just posted this as the first post back. So I wanted to make sure that both my readers had a chance to see this! :-)

Happy Holidays all and and I think the End of the World is Nigh. REASON:

Look at the End of the College Football Season for Sighs, (signs) aaaaaaa huuuuuuuuu (deep breath) and wonders. I wonder If we will ever blow up the BCS Computer and go to a playoff system. Also My Gamecocks lost to archrival Clemson due to a field goal with 3 seconds left. Who could have predicted the fall of so many teams in so few weeks to leave Our Lady of the Chicken of the Sea- Tuna Fish vs. Testicle Tech- Seminomas' for the National Championship.

Something is inherently wrong with a sport that can be played with balls to the wall guts by 22-25 men for 60 minutes and possibly overtimes---only to be decided by one guy who kicks maybe one to three times a game! However- Good job Clemson- you Won.

PS: This ties in directly to 911docs post about Apocalypto-and the end of times (Which I have Tivo'd- NO NOT the Fla. Quarterback!) but am afraid to watch!

He was talking about Nascar- and the Word Sport was in the same sentence. I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic but He's a Pathologist so I'm not really sure-(Just kidding Doc- like he'll ever see this but I think we are of the same mindset when it comes to Nascar and Sport----Oxymoron completed!

John

Saturday, November 24, 2007

OUT OF BOUNDS

RARE POLITICAL COMMENTARY


Jesse

Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked
in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of
his head. In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might
have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him
of his problem.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid,
gave it to Jesse, and told him to drink it all. Jesse drank the
concoction and replied, "God, that tasted like bull shit!"
The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were down a quart".



Seems there are so many people with so many answers to other peoples problems:- No wonder they all have to call Dr. Phil and therapists to straighten out their own lives and families. Sweep around your own doorstep, get the splinter out of your eye, mind your own "bidness"- all come to mind when I think of involvement in things I know very little if ANYTHING about!

I am working on being SLOW TO SPEAK- that will keep you out of a lot of trouble- But quick to hear- that will let you understand what was really said by the person speaking----and then esp: be even SLOWER to ANGER, because Truth be told it probably had very little to do with you or the Truth about you to begin with!

Merry Christmas.

Al- Your next!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

HAPPY THANGSGIVING

HAPPY THANKSGIVING & BLESSINGS TO ALL


THIS DID NOT HAPPEN AT MY HOUSE- I RECEIVED IT AS AN E-MAIL

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my
sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing
how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a
trick. She told my sister that she needed something
from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of
the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish
hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed
the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the
oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the
turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the
stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she
reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a
look of total shock on her face, my mother
exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant
bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my
sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that
turkeys lay eggs!
Yep, SHE'S BLONDE!


LOVE YA ALL!!

JOHN

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

HAMMER- JUST FOR YOU MY FRIEND

I NEED ALL THE BLOGGING COMMUNITY TO CONTACT ALL YOUR CONTACTS AS MY LIST IS STILL RALATIVELY SMALL...PLEASE DO THIS FOR THE HAMMER!!!!! ALL THE OTHER BLOGGERS TO GO BY HAMMERS AND TELL HIM HELLO- (I MEAN THIS FROM THE HEART NOW! PLEASE DO IT) SINCE I NEED YOU TO GET THE WORD OUT FOR ME SO WE CAN GIVE HIM A KILLER----UH..... PROPER TURNOUT!!!!! WE LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU BROTHER- GET WELL SOON. I'M GLAD IT'S PNUEMONIA AS IT RESPONDS READILY TO THE NEWER ANTIBIOTICS THAN THE OLDMONIA, OR LORD FORBID- THE DREADED, "SNEAK UP FROM BEHIND YOU

"DOUBLE WALKING PNEUMONIA!"

BRO JOHN

video

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Chhooor new Choose para Santa Claus

My Dear Friend, Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below: How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads: You need four maxi pads to make a pair. Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part. Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc. These slippers are: * Soft and Hygienic * Non-slip grip strips on the soles * Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh * No more bending over to mop up spills * Disposable and biodegradable * Environmentally safe * Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags. I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself.... Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you!









Thursday, November 15, 2007

WHAT HE DOES ALL DAY- Partial Hiney Warning!

You just never know who's not answering the phone on the other end of that call- nor the hidden talent they posses! Mr. Ambi Dextrous from Hackeysack NJ.

Favorite saying: Feets, don't fail me now! Also known to make wise cracks during performances.


video
UH- PUSH THE ARROW BUTTON.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

POSTING FRENZY

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR FEET STINK!!!




I work 12 hours Wednesday and then I am off, Thurs, Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Get ready for a posting frenzy to get me out of the DT's. I still have a lot of work to do reloading applications, pics etc and getting it tweaked the way I had it. But I one proud dude to have this new system! Missed everyone so much and can't wait to read and find out what's been going on!

Love to all my guys and gals! Catch ya this weekend!

John

Monday, November 12, 2007

IT'S NOT NICE TO FOOL AROUND WITH MOTHER NATURE!!!!

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from the University of Florida, has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when the weather is cold.

The New Bra:

















After he announced the new invention at a news conference, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked his ass.





Friday, November 9, 2007

THE FIRST POST WITH THE NEW COMPUTER

JUST A FEW PICS TO WARM UP WITH

DEFINITION OF BALLS!
ALSO- LACK OF THEM- LIVE DEMONSRTRATION



AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY PAR.

THESE ARE AWESOME- WITH A CAPITAL R-
PLEASE DO NOT READ NOW IF YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME TO SIT BACK, SAVOUR AND SPEW A FEW!! BEVERAGE ALERT CLASS "B" ON SEVERAL AND CLASS "A" ON ONE OR TWO!




REMEMBER- I WARNED YA!




DANG IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!!


New Words for 2008

*SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

*SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.

*TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

*BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

*SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

*ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

*SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

*CUBE FARM .
An office filled with cubicles.

*PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

*SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What couples turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or to start a "home business".

*SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single Income, no Boyfriend And Desperate.

*AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair blonde but still has a 'black box'.

*PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

*ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

*GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to use the bathroom. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.

*404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.

*AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

*OH-NOSECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

*GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

*JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wears to show their level of training.

*MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, (i.e.) extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nothing
in there worth seeing.

*MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa!".

*MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the dogs so the pub is suddenly packed with foxes when you come back in.

*MYSTERY TAXI .
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up whisks away the fox you slept with, and leaves a 10 Pinter in your bed instead.

*BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home at 3:00 a.m. after a booze cruise.

* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

*BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 30 minutes for the rest of the night.

*TART FUEL .
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

*PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

NEW COMPUTER SHOULD ARRIVE TOMORROW

YES! YES! YES! IT SHIPPED TODAY FROM RALEIGH AND SHOUKD BE HERE TOMORROW.

I can't wait. But I 'll have to. Bummer.

Oh- going to Fla/SC game Saturday- Kickoff 7:45 on ESPN. Ya'll look for me. I should be pretty easy to spot as I'll be wearing Garnet and Black. Should be pretty easy to pick me out in a crowd of 85K!!!!! Will be tailgating from about 12:00 all the way up until kickoff and the game should be over probably a little before Midnight (With Commercials etc.) Then We get to leave in the traffic and I work a 12 on Sunday- but it will be awesome!



GO COCKS!!!!! Wow- 4 little pricks just got up and left Starbucks LOL!

Have a great one and get ready to Blog!!!!!!!

John

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

OLD LADY SUICIDE

I don't care who you are this is funny right here.


An 80 year old lady tired of living alone wants to committ suicide. So she thinks about it and finally calls her Family Dr. for advice. He comissuratates and understands that she really has no quality of life so he tells her- Take a Pistol and Shoot yourself just Under the left breast!

She Finally works up the Guts to do it : Fires the Pistol ------and ends up in the ER with a GSW to her Left Knee!!!!!



Ha ha Try not to laugh--go ahead- admit- you cain't frigging do it! There's the start of the smile- Oh it's all over now--- shot herself in the left knee!!!!!

Ohhhhhhhh Life is good!

Buenas anus,

John

Sunday, November 4, 2007

YEAHHHHHHH I THINK!!!!!!!

Should be back on-line full speed aheead!

Yeah Poopsie! Knew preggos could get one but I forget all the trimester dates of when ya can and when ya can't- so we just shipp all you 2 packaged as 1's off to the Gynercolologist! Least thats what we cal em hear- Gynerculologists---er just plain ol baby Doctores. Sorry slipped into my Sling Blade accient fer a minute! Glad all is going well. New puter should be shipped 3-5 and yes it is a Dell! I had to get it through the Hospital- the deal was too sweet not to pass up on- ahhhh one of the benefits of corporate greed I guess.

And Kaylee- wow girl- a heart Transplant! I mean like that is absolutely mind blowing. And I though my thre litlle vessels was something! I pray all is well. Do you feel like yourself? LOL Had to get that in there! Lest someone BEAT me too it- ok- I'lll give ya a break on the puns- I'm sure all your friends had a head heart I mean start-see I can't quit- A orta behave myself!
Keep me posted OK? Do you, did you or do you want to know who the donor was?

I've heard that you can actually feel some vibes or there are reports of some little things about recipirnts and donors. Let me know if any of that is true! I'm so happy for ya gal!!!!!!

OK-all- look for some wieredness and finally some more pictures- tied to upload one on this and they sent a Electric Company representative stating our subdivision couldn't handle the pull on the transformer- if I wnated He's upoad it from his house! LOL!

I turn this thing on and the lights dim in the house! I started typing this in June!

Aloha- Love to everyone- and NO- spell check wasn't done in lieu of time!

Friday, November 2, 2007

Hello

Hi all,

Just a short update. All is still going well with health and especially with relationship with Sandi (My much better 1/2). We are sharing , talking laughing- a lot!!and just having a having a blast together! Work is getting ready to shift into high gear with Flu season just about to pop up. We are still seeing tons of Streps, a few Mono's and a TON of MRSA.

We have a whole community that we serve about 15 miles from the one I work at and we get all of their patients after 5:00. Many Many Meth addicts from out there and more "SPIDER BITES" than you can count. I really think the news did a very poor job in reporting about what MRSA is, but most importantly that it can be treated and most of all PREVENTED with proper hygiene!! But did the news mention much of that?

No- it the one or two isolated cases out of literally thousands because of the delay in the patient getting treatment that caused their death.
At least it's getting the Name out there and then we can educate them when they come in.
Got some much needed rain- deficit is still close to 20" below normal--duh Deficit ---below normal!!!! what an armpit I am sometimes! I outta be banned. Yuk Yuk. Or at least hit by a Brutish Right Guard while playing Polo and cleaning out an Old Spice Rack. Don't make me pull some High Karate on you butt! Yeah I stank. Ok- I digress enough and I'm even thankful to be typing on this putrer! I am truly blessed!!!!


God bless all- with the new schedule I should be able to crank out countless puns that make you want to _________________ with a Pygmie, while ________________ his/her little ______________________ standing on one leg playing the picolo, and shouting ________________, _________ and ______ the __________games only half Over!!!!!!

Loves ya,

John

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

WITHDRAWALS!!!

Guys and cals I can't stand this anymore! I MUST BLOG!!!! LOL> Have gone through last 2 Sundays papers and just don't see anything in the budget--(FREE) LOL) that will do us right now. I do ask for your prayers that God will help me find a way to work some overtime or something, as very very soon this will hold me up from enrollment in Winter classes. I must take these rinky dink BS classes to get them out of the way (my prerequisites) and only then can I get on the WAITING LIST!!!

I am sooo frustrated. Things are going so well in my marriage, at work, faith etc...and I hit this brick wall when it comes to classes. I feel sure this is the direction I'm supposed to go in but door after door gets slammed in my face!

Oh, well- lets stay positive. Everything will work out in it's own perfect time- I guess I just need to learn Patience and to trust in God even more. Like I said I'm willing to do my part- extra work etc- I didn't excpect one to just fall into my lap, but jeesh- you think you could catch a little positive stuff every once in a while!.

Sorry guys but I needed to get this out. It's been gnawing at me on the inside and I just don't quite understand (and probably never will) the reason(S) behind this delay or particular stop time! But I am getting frustrated! Will try to consolidate and put this in better words and perspective and put on Shhh...God's Talking. (I'll just post this one for now!)

Yours in Christ,

John

Friday, October 26, 2007

Hi All

Missing everyone. Start my regular schedule of 3- 12's this coming Sunday- Whooo Hooo- that is going to be nice!
Computer still dead. May take it by shop but everyone's saying the people around here are rip-off artists and I do not want to get scammed!
Hope everyone is dong well!

Love to all

John

Sunday, October 21, 2007

EMERGENCY POST

HI ALL,

COMPUTER DIED- PUT THIS TOGEHTER FROM PARTS AND IT MAY LIVE A WEEK OR SO--AM TRYING TO GET MOOLA FOR NEW ONE BUT IT MAY BE A LITTLE WHILE. MEANTIME- I'M NOT ABANDONIOING BLOGGING (COLLECTIVE GROAN-lol?) BUT I WILL POST WHEN I CAN WITH THIS PIECE OF CRAP.

Only had one response in 5 days of not posting so maybe a good time to take a break altoghether! But if anyone asks- I'm not qiuitting- just waiting on getting new putrer!

Love to you all,

John

Monday, October 15, 2007

3 THINGS

I liked this from Shhhh-God's Talking---- Plus I'm running late-LOL so I thought I'd post it here too!

3 THINGS

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -

1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity



Three things in life that can destroy a person -

1. Anger
2. Pride
3. Unforgiveness



Three things in life that you should never lose-

1. Hope
2. Peace
3. Honesty



Three things in life that are most valuable -

1. Love
2. Family & Friends
3. Kindness



Three things in life that are never certain -

1. Fortune
2. Success
3. Dreams



Three things that make a person -

1. Commitment
2. Sincerity
3. Hard work



Three things that are truly constant -

Father - Son - Holy Spirit




I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today; to
guide you and protect you, as you go along your way. God's love is
always with you, God's
promises are true. And when you give God all your cares,
you know God will see you through.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

STUFF

Well lets see here. This is just a general post to fill the gap until I start my New Old schedule. I will be going back to three 12's- YES!!! It is so much easier than 4 9's or 4 10's! I just had to be cleared from the Cardiologist after the Stent to go back to 12's. And this will allow me to work more on Full-On as well as the Christian Blog- Shhh- God's Talking, of which I am truly proud and enjoying. Thanks jeanne from Just Me-My two Cents who said I could and should do both--it appears I can without a lot of compromise and still remain truthful to both camps!

I am feeling better than I have in probably 10 or 15 years and will probably die of an Aneurysm tomorrow at 12:15 pm while taking a dump at Urgent Care. I won't be missed for 20 or 30 minutes and I've always wanted to be found on the crapper reading a book on Jewish Sports Heros'.....the Long Version. (A 2 page Pamphlet). Of course I'm kidding and I will not die one minute before I'm supposed to unless you hear me yell=
Hey Ya'll Watch this!!!
...... Of which I promised my wife I would not do.

We are really busy at work and I have reason to believe this Flu season is gonna kick butt! Why you ask? Damn I wish you hadn't because I can't qualify that at all with one shred of scientific evidence.

How bout them Cock's???? Mind out of gutters and eyes off laps please. I mean the Gamecocks who are ranked 7th Nationally this week thank you very much. We are used to just being RANK! This is a long overdue process for us and I really think the Ol Ball Coach (Spurrier) has what it takes to truly turn young men around and live and play up to and even beyond their potential.

Well, that's about it for today. The pond is almost completely dry again after it refilled slightly and we are in about a minus 8-10 inch deficit if not more. Our State Fair came and started today and that foe us is the harbinger of cooler weather and true to form a front came through and it will be in the 70's and maybe in the 60's for Highs. A lot of times we get our first very early freeze when the Fair arrives!

We haven't been in several years since the food is sooo conducive to a Heart friendly Diet...I may just melt some Crisco and give myself about 60 cc's IV for the winter!---but we may go and get Elephant Ears, Cotton Candy and a Candied Apple for my wife, and the only time ever I get French Fries with Vinegar on them!! And also the Fried Mushrooms!!!!!

John

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Monday, October 8, 2007

WORKING WORKING WORKING

Hi all.

Working extra this week to make up for the loss of the 12 hours shifts I missed after my STENT (yuk yuk) in the Hospital. I have been cleared to go back to 3 12's. None of this disability crap for me. I wanna needa gottaa havva Bojangles to clog up the rest of the new bought Bypass grafts! But the 3 12's are much more conducive to posting and playing with ya'll on-line!

HEY-- HOW BOUT THOSE COCKS!!!!! GAMECOCKS THAT IS!!! NUMERO 7 AND MOVING UP!!! I'M GONNA MAKE A BELIEVER OUTTA MONKEY GIRL YET!!!!

Sorry Bret lost last night MG- He still is mu #1 all time Fav Football player. He is hje Cal Ripken of Football. The Brittney Spears of Paparazzi, The Lindsey Lohan of Rehab...well you get the pivture LOL!

See you all sometime this week!

John

video

Saturday, October 6, 2007

8 YEARS AFTER PRESIDENT CLINTON LEFT OFFICE


DOUBLE-CLICK TO ENLARGE AND LOOK CLOSELY!!!!


ON A VERY SRIOUS NOTE- PLEASE READ ABOUT THE SCAM THAT HAPPENED TO ME AT LOWES...I DID NOT THINK I COULD BE FOOLED BY SUCH A LAME-BRAINED SCAM BUT THEY GOT ME! VERY IMPORTANT TO PASS ON TO ALL MEN SHOPPING AT LOEW'S

Subject: Scam at Lowes

A "heads up" for those men who may be regular Lowes
customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam
while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies
has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive
enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your
friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking girls come over to your car
as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They
both start wiping your windshield with a rag and
windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their
skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say
"No" and instead ask you for a ride to another store.
You agree and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them
climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling

all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen August 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on
the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th. Also September 1st, 4th,
twice on the 8th, 24th three times just yesterday and very
likely this afternoon.

So tell your friends to be careful

Thursday, October 4, 2007

CLEAN UP THE POOP

I bought a bird feeder. I hung
it on my back porch and filled
it with seed. What a beauty of
a bird feeder it is, as I filled it
lovingly with seed. Within a
week we had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and
easily accessible food.

But then the birds started
building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table,
and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was
everywhere: on the patio tile,
the chairs, the table ...
everywhere!

Then some of the birds
turned mean. They would
dive bomb me and try to
peck me even though I had
fed them out of my own
pocket.

And others birds were
boisterous and loud. They
sat on the feeder and
squawked and screamed at
all hours of the day and night
and demanded that I fill it
when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even
sit on my own back porch
anymore. So I took down the
bird feeder and in three days
the birds were gone. I cleaned
up their mess and took down
the many nests they had built
all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like
it used to be ... quiet, serene
and no one demanding their
rights to a free meal.

Now let's see ....
Our government gives out
free food, subsidized housing,
free medical care, and free
education and allows anyone
born here to be an automatic
citizen.

Then the illegals came by the
tens of thousands. Suddenly
our taxes went up to pay for
free services; small apartments
are housing 5 families; you
have to wait 6 hours to be seen
by an emergency room doctor;
your child's 2nd grade class is
behind other schools because
over half the class doesn't speak
English.

Corn Flakes now come in a
bilingual box; I have to
"press one" to hear my bank
talk to me in English, and
people waving flags other
than "Old Glory" are
squawking and screaming
in the streets, demanding
more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe
it's time for the government
to take down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not,
continue cleaning up the poop!

NEW POST TO MAKE UP FOR SUCKY POST!

AMERICAN ROWING TEAM- 6 PEOPLE PRESENT- 3 MORE BACK AT HOTEL JUST NOW GETTING THE MEMOS THAT THE RACE HAD BEGUN!

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River . Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.


To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new
performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.

The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India .

URINE TEST


Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job.

I work, they pay me.

The government takes 40% and distributes my taxes as they see fit.

In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test.

I have no problem with that.


What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?!


Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.

I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ass, doing drugs, while I work.

Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check??!!

Something has to change in this country and soon!!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

NO NUKI TONIGHT!

Thanks for playing.

Oriental Eye Exam

THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!


OK I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED- BUT IT'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

THINGS TO KEEP YOU YOUNG!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Try everything twice. On Madams tombstone (of Wheelman's and Madam)
she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it
both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this
in mind if you are one of those grouches;)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's
workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4 Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if
you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with
HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who
is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8 Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

8 WORDS WITH DUAL MEANINGS


1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve..
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


CONTINUING FULL-ON FORWARD

Hi everyone,

I would like to take just a second and thank all of you who have ever stopped by and commented and that have given me support over the past several months. As a lot of you know I started Blogging to journal my daily "Life Events" as they applied to me spiritually- which I had been doing in notebooks off and on for 20 plus years.

Sorry about the -especially the wonderful people I met through this medium. It is now time that I start truly Blogging for the reason I started to in the first place. I'm just not sure if I should keep Full-on Forward open for a while-or completely change it over to my Christian Roots- and daily devotional blog etc.

I have known for some tome that I needed to "clean up my act, so to speak and Blog from my heart. I can't do both- God's Word says you can't serve God and Mammon- and Mammon does not just apply to money. It is any worldly possession that puts any distance between my heart and seeking to Know God personally in a deeper and more meaningful way.

I have neglected myself, and most importantly my wife- in the time I spent on Blogging- just for the attention. And I owe that much to my mate and my Lord as well as myself.

I feel much more fulfilled and at peace when I have things in the correct order. So I'm going to post a first ever bible study on Shhh- God's Talking and then decide whether to clean this one up a bit and continue posting some or just delete it altogether. Even though I kinda wanted this journey through life to be FULL-ON FORWARD-- with God.

I know that most do not want to be preached at and that is not my intent. I'm just gong to post positive messages and stories, quotes etc- and yes with still the same craziness but with an outcome of Growing deeper in fellowship with God and thereby strengthening my relationship with others by trying to improve my character, work ethic, responsibilities at home etc.

I can truly say I love each and every one of you and there is not one judgemental bone in my body and I will still try to make the rounds to visit. I can just see that it will probably take me in a different direction time wise. Any thoughts or suggestions are welcomed- but I really feel strongly about this and there are certain things I will not be able to post, read or participate in as I have in the past.

Am I too GOOD FOR IT? NO- a resounding NO- But my Lord is!! And He lives inside me and is Changing me and I must take a stand based on that! I'm certainly never going to preach or condemn anyone in anyway unless it is by complete accident or sheer stupidity. I have too many faults, too much baggage and a whole boat load of logs in my own self to start pointing out stuff in other people.

But I do have a gift and some basic knowledge learned over 25 years and it has worked for me and many many other people of like faith, mind and Spirit, have found Peach, Love, Jot, Rest and most of all FORGIVENESS of and from SIN that the DEVIL has lied and kept them under for far to long!!!!!!!!!!.

I am truly sorry if I offended anyone with my lack of taste in some jokes and most- (most-LOL) of my posts even if they were meant in fun and not specifically targeted to embarrass anyone. Please just know that I would love to have you swing by- even if just to say high, and as I tweak the Blog- (if it even lasts that long) there will be many different formats and approaches to learning, studying about God, His Word, Faith, Salvation etc. Also a lot of self help materials and references on depression, suicide- (I'll probably do that one last- LOL), Communication skills, Discipleship classes, how to study the Bible etc. The posts or Blogs will be deleted!!!

I certainly don't claim to be a bible scholar by any means, but I do know beyond all shadow of a doubt that this is what God is leading me and intended for me to do all along. I even wasted the first few months by fighting it this long. Except I really don't think it was wasted, because- because of you I learned to Blog, Post, EVERTHING and you gave me the encouragement and confidence t get it done.

OK- rambling over Thanks so much everyone and I'll dedice which blog to keep open and which one to close etc. I'll probably post ocassionally on Full-On for a bit, but I guess I'l start the biblr study on Shhh-God's Talimg.

Love to you all,

John McElveen
john.mcelveen@yahoo.com

Saturday, September 29, 2007

7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD,,,,,

PLEASE VISIT SHHH-GOD'S TALKING FOR MORE ON MY CHRISTIAN BLOG.....

ENJOY THE VIDEO- IT'S POWERFUL. PUSH PLAY BUTTON TO START.


video

Friday, September 28, 2007

OBITUARY: THE DEATH OF COMMON SENSE

OBITUARY OF A DEAR FRIEND


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how
old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic
red
tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons such
as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not
kids,
are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place - Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer Tylenol to a student; but could not
inform
the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received
better
treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap,
and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
his wife Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.


SOME THINGS THAT WERE ATTRIBUTED TO HIM:


1. He who jumps off a bridge in Paris is in Seine.


2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.


3. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.


4. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.


5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.


6. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.


7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


8. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.


9. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


10. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.


11. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.


12. When two egoists meet, it's an I for an I.


13. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.


14. Definition of a will: A dead give away.


15. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


16. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.


17. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.


18. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


19. If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?


20. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


21. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.


22. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.


23. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


24. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.


25. Every calendar's days are numbered.


26. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.


27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.


28. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium
at
large.


29. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
end.


30. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.


31. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.


32. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.


33. Acupuncture is a jab well done